Respect & What It Means To Me

I watched a controversial viral video last week. It was on the topic of respecting elders - a topic that I'm often concerned and passionate about.

After I watched the video, I went to bed. As I always do, I'm scrolling through social media and TikTok if I can't sleep.

I tried to sleep even after switching it off. But 10 to 15 minutes of tossing and turning on my bed, I realised I was actually in a fit of rage.

The issue of respect brings a backlog of bad memories for me. It’s almost as if I have completely shunned the word away from my dictionary.

I’ve always been somewhat reluctant to respect people. Respect is a very heavy word and it isn’t something I wish to throw around lightly, and I don’t exactly agree with the social decree of “respect your elders”. I’m not very much adored for this quality, but I just don’t see the need to respect every single human being out there.

respect. verb

Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

But what does it mean to me?

There was once where I was on the fence, unable to comprehend whether what I was doing was right or not. That’s when a good friend reminded me that respect is a strong word and not everyone in our life is deserving of it. He did however, emphasise on being polite – that’s easier, he said.

Respect, to me, is a two-way street. You’ve got to earn it. Being polite, on the other hand, is just common courtesy that everyone deserves. And neither respect nor being polite is exclusive to people who are older than you.

Take this scenario: there’s no reason to walk around screaming at the top of your head in a place of worship. You speak softly because it’s polite, or possibility because your respect the rules of the place, not because you respect every single person there (you probably don’t know half of them!).

I respect someone who:

Has accomplished something in his life that is commendable.

For example, I respect my father. He was a village boy who put his sweat and blood into his work and has finally reached where he is today with minimum education and almost no support.

He's obviously not the only person I respect. My values are obviously strong with hard work, ethics and education. If I see someone put effort into doing whatever it is they're doing, I am bound to feel a sense of respect for them.

Is down-to-earth.

Someone who has a rather happy-go-lucky attitude in life. Always willing to share, to learn, to be open minded, and has the ability to laugh at him/herself easily.

I don’t really think a person needs to be humble and courteous all the time. Sometimes it’s nice to see that people have an air of confidence about themselves. But there's a sense of humility and "chilled out" behaviour where the person doesn't try to hard that I admire.

Is polite and has manners.

This person knows when to speak his mind and when not to. This person doesn’t think “oh, I’m older, why should I bow down?”. This person doesn’t disrespect traditions and knows his social etiquette without being too fake about the whole thing.

And one day, I hope to be that person. I don’t live for people to respect me, in fact, I don’t quite think there’s anything about me that’s respectable (I do appreciate some common courtesy though). But someday, I wish to be able to look up to myself.

Who do you respect?