people watching at the coffee shop

I'm supposed to be here curing my unemployment, being productive, making the most of all this new-found free time.

I am not, however. Instead, I'm making a nuisance of myself and being a drain on this coffee shop's limited resources while amusing myself by writing about the people within my immediate vicinity.

The sole reason I was inspired to do this was because the man sitting directly in front of me was drinking his coffee peculiarly and, being readily open to any distraction, I decided to follow up on it.

Him and his, presumable, partner, are sharing a table with two laptops, drinking tap water and eating sandwiches suspiciously wrapped in cling film. I remember having to pay for my vegan meatball toasted wrap, but these sandwiches surely just came from the secret menu.. it may sound like I'm judging, but in reality I'm just envious that I didn't arrive as well-prepared.

Apart from this, however, they are not causing any ruckus, or providing me with any remarkable content.

Here we go, look who just walked in, the student who left half an hour ago, only to return soaked through to her poor skin .. hold that thought. Where's she gone? Oops, she's disappeared. Poor lass doesn't get more of a mention than that then. I can't say I'm off to a very good start, I must admit.

The two ladies in the corner are up next. Both wearing very different, yet equally as fashionable coats (one waterproof, one trench). They both opted for bottle green sparkling apple juice, a bougie yet confident choice and one I don't think I can particularly criticise. They've been in here as long as me, perhaps a couple of hours, and seem to be having a lovely time enjoying each other's company. If I were to guess, they were two estranged school friends who are now, fairly successful, young professionals, but both had to fake food poisoning in order to take the day off sick so that they could reunite at a mediocre coffee chain on a bleak Friday afternoon.

Brief interlude to enjoy Taylor Swift's All Too Well (10 Minute Version).

Back again and this time we shall be moving on to the elderly couple sitting just behind me. While I say couple, I can't be totally confident in that description since I can only see one man talking to what I can only assume is another person. Oh wait, no, they've gone too. Dropping like flies now aren't they? In their absence, they leave me with empty chairs and the mystery of who he was and who he might have been talking to.

Top 3 guesses:

- Private Investigator, following up on a lead which implies his wife of 37 years is having an affair with the barista who just served him.

- Loyal wife who is not even remotely attracted to the barista who served them, is very happy in their 37 year marriage, and can't wait to go to the north of Wales next November to celebrate their 38th anniversary.

- Ghost?

There's no one left to really analyse at this point.

In that case, my final observation shall be dedicated to the sweet old man who struck up a conversation with me at the library this morning. After telling me all about his shambles of a bus journey and the headache that was his top-of-the-range boiler breaking down, he waved at me and bowed out with a goodbye and a 'sorry to bother you, I'm neurotic.' And honestly? I cannot think of a better way to sign off myself.