OPINION: Facial Tattoos Are Weird

I dislike facial tattoos. Post Malone should’ve never made them popular. Like just the other day I saw an article on NewsBreak.

There was a pic of a man, a mugshot, where he had a tattoo coming from his neck up the side of his head. He’d killed his roommate. Mental note, don’t room with a face tattooed dude!

Tribal Rites

I mean if you live in a tribe, maybe it’s all good, but how the heck are you going to get a J-O-B in America unless it’s in Greenwich Village where you work down at a BDSM Pizza Restaurant.

Then Again

Lots of people and companies are hiring at the time of this writing. Things sure are different now-a-days. Personally, I like seeing skinny people without diabetes on the TV, but now it’s “curvy” people on the primetime, so I imagine you could get a job with a face tattoo, right about now.

Statues

Take a gander at Greek and Roman statues in the museums. They all look beautiful and stuff because that’s what people want to see in the end. There’s no tattoos on them, either, but I know, humans beings aren’t statues. I get it, but you definitely don’t!

Historical Tattooing

Tattoo means stigma in Latin and in Greco-Roman times tatts were used to I-D criminals and slaves. Research shows tattoos only go back 5000 years in history because flesh decays, so it’s been hard to document them on mummies and ancient corpses.

The practice of tattooing the face basically fell out of favor throughout time due to Christian missionaries influencing tribes they converted.

A Tattoo Tangent

I don’t have any tattoos, personally, and maybe that’s why I take such a hard stance on this issue, but it could’ve been because I read Moby Dick by Herman Melville at a young age and of course I saw the movie with Gregory Peck and I even tried to binge-watch the newer one with Ethan Hawke.

Halloween Memories

When I was young I put on masks and makeup during Halloween once a year, and somehow that was enough to make me understand the importance of keeping my face absent of stains and marks. Except for an earring I got once in college. Boy, my dad was mad!

Soon

Sooner than later people will start to realize putting a tat on their face, like above the eyebrow, which is I saw the other night, is a really bad move.

A better trend would be to go back to those one-eyed spectacles on a chain, if you really have a need to raise an eyebrow at people.

Conclusion

In the history books this time period will be forgotten and all they will remember is there was a really bad flu going around killing people in 2020.

Except they might remember all the Marvel movies, too, because people really seem to like those films!

References:

https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/505647

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moby_Dick_%281956_film%29

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1334573/

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