Nourish good habits

The party of December 2021 at my house is ingrained in my memory. The party turned out to be a nightmare for me. I hosted a get-together party for my school friends at my house. The party kicked off with a delightful spirit. Meeting old friends is so gratifying, reminiscing those golden memories, reliving the times when we were scoundrels. Soon it became a boisterous gathering. I had made an arrangement for some games like darts, billiards, truth and dare, etc. but people did not seem to be interested. They preferred to drink and talk about old times. Alcohol started kicking in. Music and noise grew louder. I became a little tensed that my neighbors would make a fuss about it, even though I had apologized for the expected disturbance beforehand. I, as a sincere host, drank the least; but I enjoyed the most. I kept myself busy observing others, offering food and drink, and gossiping. I had a lot of catching up to do as I had missed the last party held at James' house. Neil and Portia got flirtatious with each other. James started rambling about his wife's mistrust. Thomas, Steven, and Jennifer started dancing mainly to avoid James. Steven suddenly felt dizzy and dashed to the restroom. I could hear a loud noise even in the midst of the music. He came out wobbly with his hand scrubbing his forehead. A few steps later he fell, passed out, on the floor even before reaching the carpeted area. Thus banging his head hard on the concrete floor. Blood started pouring out. Kelly and Thomas rushed him to the ER. Others also left for the hospital. I stayed back. It was already late and I had office the next morning.

I went inside the bathroom, turned the light switch on, and saw the scariest and most disgusting things on the basin and floors. The sheer sight of that made me nauseated. The odor was equally horrible. I had to clean this cesspool, otherwise, I could not use the bathroom. If I had delayed, it would have become more pungent and sticky. This was beyond doubt the most disgusting thing I have ever done. Repugnance kept me sleep-deprived through the whole night. I developed emetophobia. I experienced fidgety while attempting to have breakfast and I left the bagel after one bite. I was sitting at my office desk, empty stomach, with somnolent eyes staring at the computer screen, coffee cup on the table, untouched, stomach-churning images from the previous night that kept on haunting me. I tried hard to focus on my job. As I was failing in my attempt, I tried to think of something else. My mind was transported to a time three months ago when we were having a party at the office. This was a combined party celebrating the birthday of a colleague and the successful completion of a project. That was one of the best parties of my life. We turned the office upside down, jumping, dancing, breaking office properties. I drank like anything. I vomited on the stairs. Not once. I was not the odd one. At least six colleagues vomited. Hardly three made it to the basin. We were too drunk to drive home. We were too drunk to call Uber. Most of us slept in the office. We were too hungover to drive home, and so, we called Uber to go home. The hangover lasted two days. It was a nice rejuvenation for us as we resumed the job after two days with more vigor. Then I realized why this memory made an ebullience at that point. Three months ago it never struck me as to how the office which we left in complete disarray reverted to its previous state as if nothing had happened.

As I kept on pondering on the same issue, another memory made its way to my mind. In my last job, the janitor was on sick leave for a few days. The office turned filthy as a substitute janitor was not available. We worked remotely for a couple of days until the janitor rejoined. A vibration on my phone disrupted my train of thoughts. "Steven is fine now.." I got a text message from Kaely. The name Steven brought back the horrible visuals from the previous night. I closed my eyes tightly and turned to the other side, and as I opened my eyes, they fell on the "Employee of the year” plaque proudly standing on the shelf adjacent to the sidewall. My mind was again transported back. This time it went to 2014. 2014 was a special year. The managers had to come up with project proposals the best of which would be demonstrated by the company to the clients. Two of my proposals were judged the best which paved the way towards the employee of the year awards. The primary ideas of the proposals came from an intern. One temporary employee pointed out a major flaw in one of the proposals which others had surprisingly overlooked. After which we all brainstormed and rectified and fine-tuned the proposals. The day I was presented with the award, I gave a cliched speech of thanking my team. I didn't mean it at all. I was showing off to be polite. All theatrics. I was arrogant. I was the manager. All credits and accolades belong to me. Only me. When I was a junior, my seniors ripped off my hard work. Now it was my turn. Again, what ran in my mind was "it is my magnetism, aura, and motivating ability that propelled the juniors to perform so well." I solely deserved the award.

The rest of the day was spent in contemplation. It was my natural tendency to not talk to the janitors. A few times when we came face to face, the janitors usually greeted me with a 'Good morning' or 'Hi'. I remember responding by just smiling back. I never cared to ask their names. I never attempted to be congenial towards them. I wondered how I became so apathetic? I was not like this in my childhood. My parents brought me up well. They imparted a high standard of virtue in me. My parents made sure that I show respect to all and that I did not discriminate. I used to be so affable and amiable. I do not know how and when those marvelous traits disappeared. Maybe the rat race and the corporate politics led to the erosion of virtues in me. It was not too late. I must revert to my old humane self. My behavior must show elevated moral standards.

No work got done that day. I stayed a little longer. I left only after cordially speaking to the janitor.

The unfortunate occurrence of the party and the subsequent introspection had a huge impact on me. There was a metamorphosis in my thinking process. I became congenial or rather I regained my congeniality prompting me to make sure to acknowledge the contributions of others especially juniors, subordinates, and the lowest rung personnel. Next month I convinced the management to award the janitor with an “Employee of the month” plaque. I felt sorry for the lack of compassion. I was left with a contrite heart after realizing that I did not have the habit of appreciating the contributions of people who are at a lower pay grade. It was high time that I changed myself. It was not tough at all. I just had to remove the mask of the tough, aggressive, and hard-to-reach manager that I was projecting myself. Now I am sociable, sympathetic, and convivial like I used to be earlier. I love this new/ revived me. I have a feeling everybody likes this new/ revived me.

"If You Want To Change The World, Start With Yourself First," I heard the hallowed saying numerous times but I realized the veracity of the statement only recently. I began 2022 with a new spirit. I promise to be on the path of becoming a better man. Hopefully, I can influence the world to be a better place.