Never Say These Things if You Don’t Want These Replies

Before you speak, think.

You might have the best intentions in mind, but please be aware that words hurt and they make you look like a jack-ass.

If you catch yourself saying one of the following lines, don’t be surprised if someone who doesn’t put up with bs gives you one of the following well-deserved replies:

You: ‘When are you going to have kids?’

Them: ‘When are you going to die?’

Asking someone about their personal and intimate life is very intrusive. Having kids is a personal choice, not a given and it’s none of your business why and when. Even more, if someone can’t have kids, you’re digging into a very painful wound. Please refrain from this question forever.

You: ‘You should smile.’

Them: ‘You should leave.’

People don’t owe you smiles. But you do owe them respect. In this case, respect would be not interfering in their choices.

When you’re asking someone to smile, you’re doing it to make yourself feel more comfortable. If you’re not ok with something as small as someone not smiling, go get help and change, don’t ask them to change.

You: ‘I liked you more as a blonde.’

Them: ‘I liked you more gone.’

Unless someone asked you, don’t offer your opinion on their new looks unless it’s positive. Your negative opinion is of no use to anyone and comparisons are so rude. You’d think it’s a compliment for the person’s past looks, but it’s actually an insult.

You: ‘Wow, you gained weight.’

Them: ‘Wow, you got stupid.’

This one should be a no-brainer, but I heard people say it. And you know it’s wrong. Don’t try to hurt people on purpose. It will come back to haunt you.

You: ‘I told you so.’

Them: ‘And it was the last time you did.’

So what if you told them so? People are entitled to their own choices. If they turned out bad they are the ones suffering the consequences. You divert attention to how smart you are in a difficult moment for your friend and that can only make you look bad.

You: ‘Don’t cry.’

Them: ‘Don’t speak.’

Telling someone not to cry is just like telling them to smile. Maybe you mean well and are trying to calm them down, but you have to allow people to express their emotions. Why shouldn’t they cry, because they’re making you uncomfortable? Get over yourself.

You: ‘Is this how you wanted it to turn out?’

Them: ‘Is this what you really wanted to say?’

If you want to criticize someone’s choices, at least be direct about it. This is passive-aggressive bs and everybody knows it. It’s lame and so are you.

You: ‘You look tired.’

Them: ‘You look stupid.’

Telling someone they look tired is like telling them they look bad. It’s none of your business to criticize people’s appearance. Do you think they haven’t noticed they look tired? Thank God you came along to enlighten them. Just stop it.

You: ‘Anyone could have painted that.’

Them: ‘I bet you can’t, though.’

This is highly offensive for an artist. First of all, you’re telling them you don’t appreciate their work at a point when nobody asked you to appreciate it. Second, you’re making a fool of yourself by showing how little you understand art. And third, you really couldn’t have painted squat. If you could, you wouldn’t have said it.

Please be kind.

A little empathy goes a long way.