My Weight loss Journey start
An entry to my weight loss journey
This is a tough thing for me to talk about. There is so much hate for those who are dealing with food addiction. I have been dealing with food addiction for so long I cannot remember a time when I was not addicted to food. The last few years I have been trying to deal with it. There has been plenty of times when I attempted to deal with and lose the extra weight. My biggest fear was being over 300 pounds until one day I discovered I was at my heaviest of 352 pounds. Which surprised me and I panicked and freaked out. Currently, I am at 323.4 pounds. Over the past few years, I keep bouncing between 310 and 330 pounds. I looked through what I have been doing and what been causing it to bounce. After some checking I noticed that I did better when I was keeping track of my eating then when I was not, so I am attempting once again to keep track and sticking by it.
I do know the outcomes of these actions. Such as a heart attack or diabetes. I am already predisposed to diabetes due to three of my direct family members already have it. I have seen what it does, and I am working in the medical field in where I have seen patients who has it and what happens when such a disease is not managed. I do not like it at all. There have been times where I imagined it being me instead of them. I do not like the image that I have seen. It scares me and I think it has scared me enough to try to change my lifestyle enough to lose the weight and change my life for the better.
I decided that there are deeper issues that are at play. The only thing I can think that might be causing all of this is that I am depressed, and the food addiction is the cover for it. Like most addictions it is a cover for something deeper and it is simply different covers. Addiction is just a cover for the pain one is hiding. I have been asking myself the hard questions, trying to figure out why. Part of it is because I am not as active as I can be. I think it might be partly due to being raised to eat a lot and not being so active. I have taken into consideration about going to therapy to help with the underlaying issues that causes me to look for comfort in food.
Maybe I do eat when I am bored and need something to do to keep my mind off food. That is something that I am considering. I have got a planner to list all kinds of things that I could be doing to help. While at the same time I think about projects that can be done at home that could be broken down into smaller tasks to get it down without overwhelming myself. I think apart of the rest because I eat is because I am overwhelmed with all the things that needs to be down, but I am looking at it as one big project, not little tasks to get it done. After trying this I have noticed that I am not as overwhelmed as I was before. Maybe part of the reason why I eat so much is due to being stressed out about things and just needing a way in helping me get things done without being stressed out enough to eat instead of getting things done like they are supposed to.
The changes that I have taken already is started to be more active and doing more things that would cause me to not think about food. In a way I am eating less and less and burning more calories. I have decided to check my weight on a weekly basis to ensure that I am losing the weight and if I were not, I would know. Sometimes I must be honest with myself to be able to get to where I want to be. Sometimes honesty at its best is the most brutal thing one can go through. It would hurt going through this journey but if I am to succeed then I must face the personal demons and get there.
About the Creator
Brandi Lansdowne
Podcast: blonde with a black streak
zazzle: hallowed Halloween
etsy: hallowed Halloween
twitch: thorin11233
instagram: gothie12
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