My Social Shock Confession

Yes! It happens. Sometimes students will feel like a misfit or an outsider in High School. In fact, it was in Junior High when those feelings of being an outsider and misfit hit me. At our school, the girls, who lived in town, were the popular girls, and the girls who lived in the rural area of our school district were considered the misfit, outsider, and unpopular ones

One particular occasion stands out in my mind, during lunch break, we were walking towards downtown. The popular girls were walking ahead of me. The popular girls were oblivious of their surroundings and of my being a few steps behind them. They were saying unkind things about me. Embarrassing! Not only was it embarrassing, but it was also very painful and hurtful which would be an understatement.

In the mid-60s, my first full-time job out of high school was a clerk typist position at a university not far from my home. Before leaving for a technical school in Pittsburgh in the Fall, the clerk-typist job during the Summer was okay. While the professors were nice to me, the other women in the department made me feel like a misfit and outsider. Being the lowest person in the employment hierarchy, my duties would entail running errands around the campus.

Thankfully, the Creamery was within easy walking distance from our office. Being the gofer, it was my job to go for the ice cream. Of course, getting the ice cream was one of the better parts of my first real job outside of babysitting.

When there was a mistake made in the dissemination of the videos and tapes, can you guess who was blamed? Me, of course!  To this very day, there is no recollection or memory whatsoever of me even mailing out the videos and tapes. Indeed, it was very embarrassing to be blamed for something that wasn't my doing. Learning from hard knocks, that's life. Stuff happens. and we go on. As we all now know, we don't sweat the small stuff.

When it comes to social culture shock, there is nothing that beats going from civilian life to becoming a military dependent. Keeping in mind that it was in the late 60s and early 70s, military life was vastly different from civilian life. While it wasn't the military's job to make me feel welcomed, but, they sure made me feel like a misfit and outsider. You quickly learn the jargon, such as 1505s, PCS, the base exchange, orders, hurry up and wait, rank has its privileges, concurrent travel, and TDY. Another quote that comes to mind, was said, "If the military wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you (airmen/soldier) with one."

You learn. No one cares what your name is. You become a number! The number isn't your social security number but the military member's social security number. Remember you are the dependent!

Besides ironing all those uniforms, you better memorize your military member's social security number because you are asked that more times than you can count. As they say, "If only I were given a dollar each time I said that, I'd be rich."

In the early 70s, an embarrassing situation comes to mind. While waiting on our wellness pediatric appointment, my children naturally started to play with another child. In this case, it was an officer's child. The officer and his wife were in the waiting room with me and my children. Unbelievably, the officer made a comment that his child shouldn't be playing with an enlisted person's child. How did he know we weren't an officer's family? Nevertheless, it was absolutely shocking to witness and hear his words. The embarrassing remarks weren't called for, weren't necessary, and weren't appreciated. 

Then in the 80s, during an event at the military base, an officer, but not a gentleman, in my opinion, blew his cigar smoke directly and purposely into my face. Demonstrating just how low, rude and uncouth, the officer's bullying behavior was. Remembering, it's the way things were at the time. My feelings of being uncomfortable and embarrassed along with my impression of being overwhelmed since there was no recourse.

While the military life was a culture shock, it was pale in comparison to my self-consciousness due to the loss of my hearing at a younger age than most. Before receiving my amplification pieces (hearing aids), my inability to hear was causing great anxiety and stress. Then, with the amplification pieces, my big concern was hiding them with my hair and reminding my hairstylist to do the best at camouflaging them. Wearing the amplification pieces sometimes made me feel like a misfit and outsider. Especially, at office meetings, my inability to hear would cause a lot of stress and  anxiety. Fearful of asking a question that had already been asked, my mouth stayed closed and silent many, many times. Of course, with hearing loss, people assume you are ignoring them or being snobbish. Truthfully, they are speaking to me when my back was turned to them; they aren't receiving a response because they aren't being heard. Understandably, thoughts have crossed my mind to have a t-shirt printed with, "Not rude, deaf!"

Not hearing the correct word or words of what is being said has led to a lot of frustrating, exasperating, and embarrassing situations. As well as providing people with an easy excuse, "oh you must not have heard me." 

Please accept this as my social shock confession as a self-conscious, outsider, and misfit person. Believe me, it could have been worse. 

Writer's notes: Thank you for reading!