My Narcissistic Stalker Inspired Me To Become A Better Person

I have a stalker. My stalker is very special — she is a narcissist. A very cruel, insecure, miserable, jealous, self-absorbed little woman. She smiles a lot, her face twitches every time she produces a smile...

Oh how it must hurt to wear that fake facade for the majority of her day.

Thankfully she doesn’t go out a lot, it's too much of a hassle for her. What if someone exposes her true nature? She hides inside her house, under her bed and plots revenge.

Health-wise she is falling apart and I often wonder how is still among us? But then I remember that she is driven by dark forces and I know that she will outlive us all.

The good news for me is that I will never be truly alone. The bad — she will be by my side always and forever.

Why?

Because narcissists never discard their… supplies. I was about to use the word “victim”, but I am not a victim.

I am no victim — I am a warrior.

For years I’ve had this person lurking in the shadows and working against me. They were so nice to me, love-bombed me and treated me as if I was their best friend.

I believed we were good — while she was up to no good.

This narcissist disliked me from the very beginning — but she was quite smart about it. She never publicly showed just how she wishes to destroy me until the day she could not hide anymore. And why?

Just because she is a miserable person.

I know now, that she just wishes to be “free” from herself, from her narcissistic persona and be more like me. And because she knows too well that is very unlikely to happen, she has no other option than to try to destroy me.

I made mistakes. Who doesn't?

I gave her too much of my energy in the past...but now I am claiming my life back. So I decided that she will become my inspiration.

Narcissists are obsessive in nature because deep down they don’t value themselves. All they want is to be loved, but the issue is that they are incapable of love and that’s why they hate others.

I am loved. I am respected and at times I am adored.

This must pain the narcissist.

I wonder if she wonders, “Why? Oh why, am I not loved like this?” when she sees me happy. She secretly wishes to be me. Perhaps, that's why she stalks me...

Envy is a special type of cruelty for narcissists.

She knows deep down that I am doing “better” than her. Her jealousy is rooted in her own failures and inadequacies in life.

Perhaps that’s why I caught her short-sighted vision in the first place?

I was doing well before I met her. I was seated high on my beautiful, white horse. She tried to knock me down and drag me into the white trash drama.

Why did she do this to me?

Because I was fine and I am not sorry that her life turned out to be so miserable but it's not my fault. It’s hers.

I used to be a people pleaser. Now I enjoy spoiling and pleasing myself (in all possible ways). Because no matter what I do, there would be people in this world who would boil on the inside, just because I am who I am.

I must be not as "tasty" to her as I used to be.

She knows too well that now I enjoy her presence in my life. Is that why she can’t leave me alone? Did the table turn? Who tortures who now?

Once I was under her control. I suspect she gets some form of high from that. She sticks around hoping that one day she might regain that control again

Please…stand by me...stand by me... and keep inquiring.

“What do you do? What do you think? How do you feel? Where do you go? What do you eat?”

I will answer all your questions. And even if I don’t you will still stay delusional and think that somehow you are fully present in my life when you are not.

My narcissist is a stalker. My biggest fan. My inspiration.

She subscribes to my newsletter with 5 different accounts (all have the same profile picture). I receive frequent notifications from Goggle that someone is searching for my name. I keep bumping into them even though I've moved to a different continent.

I receive unwanted emails even though I've changed your name. A mysterious publication begged me to write for them (the publication that has the same profile picture as those 5 subscribers of mine...)

I am I stalked? Oh, yes I am.

Are you stalked by a narcissist?

If yes, enjoy them. Let them empower you to do better and be better. Lure them just for the sake of pleasure: offer the narcissistic supply and attention.

It’s not for real now — but they don’t know that.

Just keep being you, the loving and amazing you. Remember they just wish to keep up with you even though their legs are broken. Give or take, narcissists will always be 10,000 miles behind you.

It’s quite depressing to be a narcissist.

They look at you and see everything that they can’t achieve or become.

That must be agonizing.

But to me, it has become an inspiration to do better, and help others free themselves from abuse.

Thank you my "Stan", my biggest fan.