Letters Never Sent - Vol 8

June 1999

Dear Lisa,

I’m not sure if you remember me. We went to Drama Camp together the summer between 9th & 10th grade. After camp we wrote for a little while, but then I guess its been almost 10 years since I heard from you now. I thought about it for a while back then, like I thought I had done something to offend you, but aside from asking for a picture of your boobs when I was a horny 15 year old, I couldn’t think of anything that offensive. I gotta tell you, it took me all year to get over you. I mean sophomore year, I should have been loving life, but there I was reading Billy Shakespeare in the library, pining away for summer love. Looking back it seems lame, but at the time, I was so smitten, I didn’t even care that the other kids called me Shakes the Clown or Drama Queen. I just thought that if i learned all those fancy lines, I could come up with something smart to say, but all i got was an eye infection from the dust in the library.

By the next summer, when I got my driver’s license I thought about driving up to Connecticut. I looked up all the Petersons in Hartford in the phone book, you must have a lot of distant cousins up there, cause everyone I called hadn’t ever heard of you.

Anyway, by the end of summer I guess I was kind of over it. I hooked up with this girl I knew from before named Jenny. She started going out with me because I had a car and her old boyfriend didn’t. It's amazing what a difference even a piece of crap Ford Escort can do for your status. So that was that, and I didn’t think really about you again for years, until last week.

I was wandering thru the park downtown Portland, (I am working here now as a part-time assistant projectionist at this old time theatre) and I stumbled upon an outdoor production of Midsummer’s Night and all of the sudden, I was 15 years old all over again. I sat all the way thru the show, it was terrible. Probably a little better than our drama camp show, but still when Lysander laid one on Hermia, I got chills. So I decided to find you. Again, do you have any idea how many Lisa Petersons there are in the State of Connecticut alone. This internet is amazing, but it's just a lot of useless info or you need a private eye, which I considered till I found out how much they cost. Wow!. $450 a day plus expenses just to look stuff up and make some phone calls, its not like I was trying to find out who killed Roger Rabbit. (it was Judge Doom, by the way).. But I digress...

So long story short, I thought it was high time I found my forest maiden, so I am making copies of this letter and am gonna send it to every Lisa Peterson in the tri-state area in hopes that I find the right one. So if you get this, you can confirm it’s you and if you want, you can finally send that picture of your boobs.

Looking forward to seeing them you.

Henry

(here's a little something from Shakespeare that should remind you of our summer together..)

“Ay me! for aught that I could ever read,

Could ever hear by tale or history,

The course of true love never did run smooth;

But, either it was different in blood” —

Act1 Sc 1