Let him provide the structure of the Union, while you are the deliciousness within.

Girl, you are a woman. It’s time to allow yourself to grow, which isn’t easy.

You will need to allow the cracking open of everything you’ve held on to, and allow yourself to receive healing fully. But, through all this, you can BE HELD: within the masculine, within a container that supports you. You get to remember just how valuable you are as a woman — a woman worthy of the pursuit to be provided-for, because you are “irreplaceable, unrepeatable, and indispensable” as a child of God. (cc: Theology of the Body). We remember and reclaim our womanhood, feminine preciousness, and body sovereignty.

A woman must vet a man for his ability to provide, protect, be present and praise, but she must first choose to heal her own wounds against the masculine: with God and with her own father. This is why courtship is so difficult for some women. They go into it wounded.

If all you have known about dating is that you and a guy like each other, you become boyfriend and girlfriend followed by a gap of uncertainty for years until you either get married because ‘it is expected’ or you break up and go through the same cycle with another man: Stop!

Without a healthy frame within which you feel precious, pursued, and provided for, you may find yourself swayed by what the ‘herd’ says (including culture, content creators, and other women in your faith religion: they can be herd too). You need feminine responsibility.

How do you heal the wounds against the Masculine? You embrace your femininity fully, deeply and viscerally, body mind, and spirit. You tussle with God (yes, you are allowed to). You re- author your perceptions. You forgive and let go. You die to the old: be reborn as new.

You receive that you are a Precious child of God: a daughter endeared deeply seen and loved. You allow yourself to be pursued by Love at the deepest level by God first (and this radiates in your being). You allow the Masculine to provide by graciously receiving.

Precious, Pursued and Provided for is how women have evolved to be the prize in courtship and marriage. Nature gives evidence of this; marriage makes our natural instincts committed and sacrosanct between one man and one woman. Embodying this is the key.

Let him provide the structure of the Union, while you are the deliciousness within. If he isn’t willing to provide (and this isn’t money only; money is just a tangible aspect of provision), it doesn’t mean you settle for the man with money but has no structure, no containment for you to be within.

If you’ve been married for a while and you feel that you are not the “deliciousness within” the marriage — without making your husband ‘the problem’, how can you take responsibility for your part? You see, without blame, there is no need to forgive anything, and there is complete freedom to co-create with God without emasculating your husband.

You get to decide if you desire growth in your relationship, or blame and bitterness. This is the paradox of love relationships. Unions are the deepest initiations for men and women. Until we are an image of union that mirrors the relationship of God with creation, we will both keep dying deaths to ourselves, respectively.

This deliciousness isn’t possible without death to self. Deliciousness within a masculine container is EMBODIED. You can’t “get tips” for it.

“How do I change my husband?” ,“How do I change the man who wants to date me?” . You are asking the wrong questions. Turn that around and ask yourself, “God: What do I get to change in me?”

You are an individual. You are a child of God. Do you really believe this; not in your head as theology, but fully in your body as the truth?

Even if you believe you’re a feminine woman, you need to be one hundred percent WHOLE if you desire a man to be the structure you get to be delicious within. (And if you collapse when confronted with the ‘tough truth’ of this: Stare your fear of abandonment in the face, and choose change for you.