Katarzyna

Katarzyna

This is one of my recent names. In my life I have used and still use many others. My brother called me Ynia. It was because once in our childhood I told him I was going to name my daughter in an unusual way. For example, I said I would give her a name starting with letter Y. In Polish, not a single word starts with this letter. I chose the name Ynia.

Nearly everyone I know well has a different name for me. My mother called me Kasia, my daughter Bimba, my friends Katia, Kasiuta, Siuta, Kate, Katerina, Katerina-International, Nana, Madame, and so on. Lately, I call myself Katarzyna – it is, as well, my official “first name” in my passport.

Quite often, when I am asked, I invent a name depending on the circumstances, or sometimes, my names are created by the circumstances. For example, when my daughter was at University I was woken during the night by strange noises. I realized they were coming from the attic. I guessed it was another of my daughter’s parties for her friends. Since I was thirsty, I decided to jump into jeans and a T-shirt and went downstairs to the kitchen to grab some water. When I came down, I saw a young gentleman with untidy hair who, with theatrical gestures, was straining spaghetti.

He looked at me smiling happily, and asked, “What is your name?”

“It is secret,” I answered.

“What would you like, Secret? “

“I would like something to drink.”

He changed his expression and pointing to the wine rack, said, “No, Secret, all these things belong to Annah’s mother. Go upstairs, there is plenty of beer.”

I am an empath. An empath is a person who has the ability to feel another person’s pain, sorrow, sadness, pride, and any other possible feelings or emotions. It is not easy, but empaths have healing abilities and often, after a sorrowful period of sharing pain with someone, they are rewarded by sharing their friends’ recoveries, happiness, and success.

This quality does not help an empath find a proper life partner. They attract opposites: psychopaths, narcissists and sociopaths. Believe or not, wherever an empath appears in a crowd, after a short period, hom is surrounded by them. They will be pulled to hom like being pulled to a magnet. Empaths go well with highly sensitive people and they are the best match for them.

At heart, I am a mathematician, philosopher, writer and healer. Most empaths are healers. Through education, I obtained the title of Master of Environmental Engineering, which in reality was a Master of Mechanical Engineering. I am highly trained in heat exchange, refrigeration and thermodynamics.

I love studying. Since my early retirement from engineering, I have done an endless number of courses, mostly at Sydney University. To begin with, I concentrated on all possible earthly topics, but later on when I ran out of them, I moved on to study the phenomena of other realities. After a discovery that they exist, my life became exciting. Wow! My first lucid dream, my first out-of-body experience, my first amazing shamanic journey.

I consider myself sometimes bright, intelligent, witty and self-confident, and sometimes dull, slow, absentminded and insecure. Sometimes I look great, sometimes I am ugly. These two opposites work alternately, but sometimes both are true at the same time.

I have never understood why people lie about their age. I consider it stupid … but, in my case, things become more complicated. Subconsciously, I am 21 and a half years old. It shows itself again and again in my Freudian slips. Subconsciously, I am repetitively saying things like, “he is much, much older; I think he is over 40,” or, “this tarot deck is not good, maybe it would work for older ladies,” and so on.

Once, I had a hot discussion with my friend Hussein, a smart and cool doctor. We were eagerly arguing a controversial topic. I wanted to use my longer life experiences in support of my point of view. So, I asked him how old he was, and when he answered: 31, I confidently stated without thinking, “I am half your age.” I was aged 62 then, so the calculations are easy: 5 years ago, I was aged 31 divided by two, which is 15 and a half. Just add 5 years, which adds to 20 and a half – my 21st birthday was on the 29th of October 2020. Easy!

I do not like talking too much and I quickly switch off when other people do. I love memes on Facebook and Instagram. They are short, true, and touching. One of my favorites said: “It is never too late to have a happy childhood.” Indeed! In Australia you are officially an adult in the age bracket of 18 - 65. According to the age on my driver’s license, I am not an adult anymore. Let’s get crazy!

When we were kids, my brother and I would illegally watch movies rated for people aged over 16. My family had a TV set. Not many Poles in the early sixties could afford one, so our neighbors came to see movies at our place. My brother and I were sent to bed before a movie would start, but when the adults were busy watching the film with the lights off, my brother and I crawled from our bedrooms to underneath the table from where we could comfortably watch the movie without being seen, and then we’d crawl back to bed before our parents said goodnight to our neighbors.

My favorite movie, that I saw back then and which I have never forgotten was: The Shameless Old Lady. It was a French movie made in 1965 about an 80-year-old lady who after a lifetime of hard work, and after the death of her husband, sold all her belongings to live her last days to the fullest. She bought a bike and explored the area around her, and … explored life! In the movie, it was deemed by the small community as scandalous. I loved the film very much! Unfortunately, I have seen it only once, in 1965. I tried everything, but recently I could not find any copy of it anywhere.

Being 21, of course, I fell in love. But it is my deepest secret. He was exactly my subconscious age despite his formal date of birth indicating 29 years of age. He opened my life to higher dimensions ….

My favorite pastime is playing with the Universe and doing a lot of weird stuff, but I do not tell anyone. During my shamanic training, I was taught how to be “normal” by Kevin, the Shaman.

He said, if a psychiatrist asks you, “What are you doing after work?” Do not say: “I’m going back to 1970 to dance with Aborigines at Uluru.” Just say: “I’m going to the fridge to grab some beer and watch the telly.” Kevin told us the difference between being mentally ill and normally visiting other realities is that a person who is ill is not able to live independently in this reality, which, as Einstein said, “is a very persisting one.”

I love creating words. Sometimes for a funny, weird or unusual sound, and sometimes because I desperately need to describe a new concept. An example is hom. It means fifty percent she or her and fifty percent he or his. It sounds like “home” and that is how I wanted it to sound. For me, homs are people who could easily become a home for me. Sometimes I meet human beings and cannot classify their gender. I love them straight away. Homs.

Homers. They are people who like my home or who have lived here and were not kicked out. And they are those who consider my home something special. For example, my young Polish friend Tomek used to say that in my home it is always Christmas.

Amplimergers. These are people who can amplify my creative thinking and of whom I can easily read their thoughts or merge with their mind.

Bruner and Luner. What is a “Bruner”? Hint, Brunch is short for breakfast and lunch. So, Bruner is an all day gathering: Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Luner – you can already guess.

Stupidify. This word I made by myself, but as many discoveries in the world were made simultaneously, the word “stupidify” exists on the Urban Dictionary website.

Unisex is a word I like. My mother, a devoted Roman Catholic, often talked with obvious disapproval about the Sibylline Oracles, which prophesize that at the end of the recent religious order the man will look like a woman and vice versa. She considered it a disaster and was very conscious that her kids keep proper gender roles.

I consider unisex a 5D model and I am observing that the world slowly is moving in this direction. It gives me joy. I imagine the beautiful homs of the opposite or the same sex loving each other, earning together, spending together, cleaning together, cooking together, sharing some clothes and fun together.

A few years ago, a new shop was opened in Newtown. Its name was Provocator. The first letter was written in Cyrillic, so it got my attention. I loved the shop, all black and white, simple racks of unisex clothes. Boys and girls were trying things on in unisex fitting rooms. The same tunics, pants, tops. It felt like home.

Some time ago the Sydney Symphony Orchestra and Sydney Dance Company held a ‘Tango’ performance. What a wonderful new interpretation of this dance! There was no war between polarized man and woman, there was unity. Both genders were wearing pants or skirts, and dancing the same passages. They were homs.

...I think it is enough for today. Please keep my secrets. If you do I'll tell you more about my life...life that none of my neighbours and acquaintances knows about...