In fact, girls are easier to change hearts than boys.

She said, the boy is a civil servant, five years older than me, is the kind of mature and quiet boy with few words, and I like the kind of uncle boy very much.

After listening to this paragraph, I knew it was over. I would not like this guy without accident.

Because my idea of a mate has changed over the years I don't know how many times.

To be honest, before THE age of 25, my view of choosing a mate was influenced by various idol DRAMAS and romance novels.

When I first saw "Prank Kiss" in the third grade, I made up my mind to find a boyfriend like "Jiang Naoshu" -- a student with high cold, handsome, gentle, single-minded and excellent grades.

On junior high school, like to read a variety of young women's campus romance novels, ideal boyfriend into a dragon such ruffians bad youth;

And when I was in high school, I especially liked watching the movie Finding Mr. Right, so the gentle, introverted and calm uncle became the new ideal boyfriend, and even rose to the level of ideal husband.

When I was in college, many of my friends talked about "realistic" relationships. Seeing all their "average" boyfriends, IT dawned on me that the boyfriends I had dreamed of before might not be met in reality.

Or even if I did, they would probably not like me, because I am not Yuan Xiangqin, not Zhang Jingmei, not Wen Jiajia.

All I could meet were ordinary people like me.

In the TV series, we are insignificant passers-by, in the novel, we are a small supporting role, in the movie, we are blurred background.

Can also be such a person, to really meet with me in reality.

When I was a sophomore, I met a gentle and mature senior in the association sodality.

When my friend saw him, he told me he was my type and constantly urged me to talk to him and add friends.

Maybe I was confused by the six words "my favorite type", or maybe I thought it would be good to try. In short, I successfully added him as a friend, often chatted with him, invited him to dinner and go to the movies, and entered a similar stage of love.

But after a long time together, I found that IT was difficult for me to have further development with this kind of person.

He fulfilled a lot of my fantasies about relationships and was what I thought I was "my type," but I knew we were never going to be together.

Because he simply enjoys the feeling of being adored and liked by me, and he has no great sense of identity for me. For him, I am just one of his many "fangirls", nothing special.

However, my liking for him is just the surface of my fantasy -- he looks regular and clean, he is modest and polite to others, and he is considerate and reliable. However, our communication rarely goes deep into specific values.

Until one day, when we were talking about the future employment, he said that it was reasonable for many companies not to hire female employees, because the maternity leave was too long and the company was losing money. If he were the boss, he would not want to hire female employees.

At that moment I suddenly realized that there was no possibility or need for us to go any further.

No matter how close his appearance or temperament is to my ideal type, but three views are incompatible really can't be together.

In fact, the process of the change of mate choice is also the process of self-cognition.

This shift in perception has less to do with age and more to do with what we want at a certain age.

Take, for example, eating.

When I was a child, I liked to drink milk powder, because at that time I had the greatest demand for food, and the only option that could meet this requirement was probably milk powder.

When I was older, I liked to eat sugar, because milk powder could no longer meet the taste needs, so I began to try all kinds of sour, sweet, bitter and spicy food.

As adults, some people turn to reduced-fat diets because their need for body shape and health outweighs their need for taste satisfaction.

Over the years, what we like to eat or choose to eat has changed, because our physical and mental needs have changed, so try, judge, choose, and enjoy.

In the process, we become more and more aware of what we really like to eat and what we really like to eat.

The same is true of changing attitudes to mate choice.

Once because a person smile is very good-looking and like a person, because at that time the most need is the feeling of heart;

Later on, people will like each other because they like themselves, because what they need most at that time is to be seen, recognized, and liked.

Later, because a person with their three views of harmony, family circumstances and choose each other, because this time the most need is adapted.

The changing process of mate choice is the process of recognizing the reality as well as oneself.

It's more important to find who you are than who you like.

When you really know who you are, then you can determine what you really want.