I write for people who are like me

I write characters and stories that are hard to write (for me). It’s exhausting to write happy people. It’s exhausting to write people fighting their way out of depression. It’s hard to move out of bed sometimes and open my eyes—-but I do it because that’s what thriving through pain is—-moving step by step each day to get by. To do each task and care for your family. I find it difficult to do anything sometimes, but I take deep breaths, and I do it. I try to do it well—-or least finish it to completion. This worldwide pandemic and the way everything feels slow and terrifying and unending—-it is hard to feel safe. But, with my friends and family, I can. Writing is my safeguard to keep me grounded as well.

I find that Vocal is one of the only things keeping me (other than my beautiful children) sane, and helping me fight through anxiety and my gripping fear of the future. I find that my writing has become labored at times, but I do it because in the end, I truly get a renewed sense of identity when it’s done. I always felt like my writing is something I have to do—-even though I am passionate about it, and I truly love it—-it feels like I have to do it. I get an idea. It is like a stake in my brain and I can’t get it out. It forms and churns and swirls until I finally wrote it down into a poem or short story or article. It may not be great, or anything perfect, but I feel relieved afterwards.

My favorite thing to write is intimate, up close and personal conversations between two people—-or a family. I love how their different personalities bounce off one another—-somethings in good ways, sometimes in negative, unproductive ways. Showing instead of telling by having their actions and words propel a plot is the best way I know how to create more well rounded, three-dimensional characters and a story that makes sense(reality based even with fantastical elements). I always worry about developing my characters before I write the plot—-giving them depth, their own thoughts, feelings, motives, perspective and personality with their past written out(but not too clearly!) is my first priority because I care about them. Usually, the plot follows after that. Sometimes, the plot is their conversation. I like to write character introspective pieces—-but also drama and action is the name of the game of you are looking to make something longer than a short fiction piece of less than two thousand words.

Some of my most favorite film directors are Ingmar Bergman and Quentin Tarantino—-so heavy dialogue driven stories are my inspiration as it is theirs!!!

When I am feeling the most anxiety or in pain, that’s when I want to write about how a person grows and fights through a problem. The toughest thing to do is always take the first step—-then the next step. What follows is a new pattern of control: you are the one that provides the pathway to your destiny. When I see their(my characters) changes and growth—-it gives me a small hope, too. A small space of time I sense for my future, that things can be improved and better. That the spaces of my lingering melancholy and anxiety can be translated into something better than existential questions of my heart.

So, when you see a story of mine with a corny ending—-or a couple that is bursting with love and happiness—-that is inspired by my love for you. All of you. I want all of you to feel the way I feel in my heart. For humanity. I am tangled in a web of my estranged past, of my childhood, and of sudden bursts of pain and anxiety. But, I feel like through my children and my writing, I am growing and striving everyday.

I hope that when people read my stories or poetry, they get a sense of that love.

If you don’t, then, I will try to improve.

Because writing is entangled inexplicably and eternally within my heart and brain, and I want to share it(hoping you all will like it). I never found a real way to do it until Vocal. So thank you Vocal fam!!

I hope everyone is having a safe and happy summer and I hope your writing plans(or any other artistic ventures) go swimmingly and with ease!

-Melissa Ingoldsby

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