I Saw Him First

A Story Written by Love for Love

I saw him first. On that very fateful night. I went to his door, knocked twice. No answer. So I left. Never to return.

Why? Well, I just never felt the urge ever again. He had moved on. Onto some other chic, some other lady. What could I do? Not much. She obviously had what he wanted. Because if he had wanted me, he could.

Why should I ever try to "win over" some guy's heart? He would most likely break it in the end. At least that's what it feel's like... to me. He should love me for me. Not for what he believe's I should be according to "societie's" standard's, which are obviously only made up to fit certain criteria for working only. Not for family value's, or deep meaningful relationship's (which would obviously be wonderful for everyone if we as a society did actually live like that),... oh well... not saying I couldn't have a wonderful man, or even a great friendship and all, it's just not that easy these day's.

We find the perfect person (guy, man or gal, woman) out there somewhere, or inside our heart's first, then we tend to compare everyone to that one ideal person in our mind's (or heart's), only to realize, or find, they may not even actually exist.

Relationship's require time to grow. To get to know one another. We can never just meet someone and truly call it "Love" at first sight, unless it truly is Love.

And I do know there are those people who have done this, or experienced this, or even are now currently experiencing it - "Love" at first sight, however, it still require's both people's full commitment to their Love.

It require's dedication, commitment, compassion, understanding, learning together - not just about Love itself with each other, also Love in the World together, as one couple.

It require's space to bloom, grow, and be nourished. It require's patience, wisdom, and strength to get through some tough time's together. Because if i've seen anything, it's noticing how amazing some very good, great, and awesome couple's are at actually becoming more deeply bonded through actual tough time's. It's remarkable! Astounding! Deeply moving, and deeply inspirational. To us all I am sure of that!

Just look (or watch) a great movie! All true Love stories. All of them! Because without true Love, we got nothing! Truly Nothing!

So, "Be Good To Myself" they alway's say to me; the one's who are in Love... so in Love it make's me feel so hopeful beyond word's at time's... and yet, it's only easy to do when one (myself-or you) is in Love with their own life. When one (You Or I) are happy in our own life... just doing (for work, or play - or hopefully both) what we Love to do naturally.

For me? Well... I write, I dance, I sing (although only usually alone... because I LOVE Singing, HOWEVER - I don't really desire to be a "Singer" for real-life purpose's of work, or working... Because it seem's pretty celebrity-esk, and I am not really the "CELEBRITY" type. Although I do really Love to Pretend I'm a Singer, a true Real Life Singer... sometime's! Not ALL OF THE TIME! LOL! Geesh! [blushing rosy cheeks emoji!])

In ALL SERIOUSNESS THOUGH... I am really just a Girl, - or Gal, - or Woman... (DARE I SAY "WOMAN"!...) Some people don't like to refer to themselve's as a Man, or a Woman I noticed.

So, that's alright, or just fine with me! I'm A LADY then... looking for her GENT. Her Gent... GENTLEMAN. I am a Lady... Looking for...HER Gent. HER gentle man... a... one. A one gent! LOL! A...ONE...GENTLE.MAN. A one gentle, very sweet, Gentle MAN... to spend some time with, some money on even, lol!... and most of all... Love.

A MAN I LOVE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, LOVE'S ME TOO! IN THE SAME WAY! YA KNOW?

I mean, ya know? Lol... i get a little carried away sometime's!.. ahhhhhhh... Love... it's... sooooo... DREAAAMMMIE! I mean, soooo Dreammmmyyyyyyyy...! Anyway's..., BACK TO MY STORY! [happy sweet face emoji]

Sew. My grandma (and my mama too) used to tell me to... ya know, sew. So I do! I sew.

And they also used to tell me not only to sew fabric's, they also told me, or reminded me quité often... to also "sew" seed's of Love!

Good ol' fashioned seed's of pure, true Love. So ya know, that shite would stick! LOL!... oh seriously!... i hope i don't get in any trouble "saying" that!.. lol!.. my mum's were quité fun! And super fuuuunnnyyyy! [inside happy heart's face emoji! :-)]

Anyway's... I just LOVE! It's WHAT I ------ DO! LOL! (insert your own explicitive!...i don't want to get booted off here for using too many fooouuuls!...Lol! However... the lowdown, or jist is this..(sssppt! hey you!.. [hand covering half of face] ...you ...got ...any ...Love? ...YET? ...ya knoWWW!?.. ...L ...O ...V ...E?.. ...Ya... dumb?... ...or... sum... thang... like... that? (lololololol)(bless...their...hearts!...lololololol!)

Anyway's... you can see clearly why I may be a little hes... (dare i saaay it! HESITANT) Hesitant. Yeah... or I may as well say... just SAY!... scared!

Terrified! I mean... what if I don't actually Live up to someone's ideal perfection? Someone's "ideal". Ya...Know? Cuz, I rarely KNOW. Like EVER!

ALL I DO KNOW IS THAT I LOVE WRITING! AND I LOVE PEEEOOOPPPLE! I LOVE uh...hum PEOPLE. AND - I love... LOVE! So there YOU HAVE IT!!!

BY JOVE! (she's...got...another...one...out...there!..did...you..."hear"...marjorie...the...other...day!..dare...III...SAAAYYY!..Oh...PAMela!..LEAVE...the...poor... girl...ALONE!!!!...Now...Honey,..what...were...were...you...saying?..i...[hand half over mouth whispering at me sideways face stance to me] ...What...Were...YOU...Sayin?..lol!..[teeth partial missing and all grandma! lol! where are her teeth? She must have forgotten to put them in! Lol! Bless Her Heart.](she...really...is...a...blessing!)]

I'd love to go on, and on, discussing love with my grandma's, mama, etc., "ladies" of the "olden days... however,.. "they" are gone sadly. Sadly,.."they" are gone.

However, they still live on in my heart! Happily! For the most part anyway's! For they are a part of me! And always's shall be...as long as I am alive anyway's! Lol!

We just never know...they used to tell us. Remember? I do! Boy do I sure remember! They never, ever, ever let me forget it! And I am so grateful for it! Everyday!

Every...Single...Day!..And...hopefully...everyday...Coupled...Up...Too!...LOL! [hearty rosy blossoming blushy face happy smiley face emoji! - if those one's even exist!..lol!]

Sum...uh..humm...(lol) Someday... I will find my Prince! My Prince Charming! Someday! I know I Will!..And...HE...WILL...FIND...ME!

END...OF...STORY!..FIÑÑITO!..(lol) And until THAT day ARRIVE'S,..I JUST SIT...AND...WRITE. ALL...DAY. AND...SOMETIME'S...NIGHTTIME...TOO!

MAYbe,..maybe...he...does...too.?.Maybe...Who...know's?..anyone?...I... doubt...it!..Only...I...know.

And...only...he...know's...too! [heart face emoji] - if that even exist's!...lol!

Anyway's... back to thee end. The Finále! Olé!

I LUUÚVE ACCENT'S... DÓN'T YÓU!? I DÓ! WISH Í HAD ONE! ÓH WELL!

I CAN SHOUT LIKE AN OLD - VERY OLD "LADY" - IF need be... not that I enjoy it...or anything like that! lol

lol lol

well...if...if...if I EVER...if...I...EVEr... if...ifff...

OHhh...BOLLOCK'S!

I wish I truly had word's to end this broken-hearted Girl's, or Gal's story... however, I don't. I just don't. She is still dreaming. And as long as she is still dreaming, so is he. And with that, i'll just end it here. Keep Dreaming. Never stop Dreaming. Because when, or once the Dreamer's stop Dreaming... we all fall down. And sometime's it's a really, really, really long time before we do ever get back up again. So keep it going. Stay strong! And Never stop Dreaming. Never, ever, ever stop being in love. With life, with yourself, and all that you do love to do! That's it! When he see's me again for the very first time, he'll know, and then i'll know, and then ya know! (wink wink)

In Infinite Love Always,

Love