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I’m Ride or Die with My Girl

Wait. What? You found your husband’s car at a motel; I’ll be right over.

By Toni CrowePublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Image Source: DepositPhotos

“A good friend will help you move but a true friend will help you move a body.”—Steven J. Daniels

Snacks Help

He was supposed to be playing golf with his buddies. His wife needed to go to the animal shelter behind the No-Tell motel. Instead of dropping off dog food, she parked her car, got in his, and drove away. Then she called me to go back to the motel with her to wait for him out to come out. We made sandwiches, got some orange juice, some gin, some hot and sour pickles, and fire Cheetos. We went in my husband’s car so her spouse would not spot us. My spouse tried to deter me, but I’m ride or die for my girl. This woman has been my friend for thirty years. We have a plan.

We saw him walk out of the motel with one of our mutual friends. Damn, what the hell! We were shocked. I wondered whose else’s husband in our group she was screwing. I got me some calls to make later. The slut went to her car and left.

The spouse searched for his car for ten minutes before he spotted his wife’s car. He looked around, craning his neck to see around some nearby cars. We slide down in our seats, so he won’t see us. We can see him through the window. He takes out his phone. Her phone rings. She put him on speaker.

“Hey, honey,” he says. She slips out of my car and starts walking toward her car cell phone to her ear. I stay in my vehicle. The goal is for her to get in her car and drive away, leaving him stranded at the motel. She walks up on him, maneuvering him away from the car as he walks toward her. My job is to be a distraction. I pull out of my parking spot and drive fast toward them.

I’m Not Going to Kill Him

He looks right at me; he knows it’s me: her crazy childhood friend. You should have seen the look on his face. He thinks I’m trying to kill him. I giggle insanely as he jumps out of the path of my car. She jumps in her car, closes the door. He runs around to her car door, trying to open it. Nope, locked. She starts the car, and we are off. We are both laughing like banshees as we drive away. He stood there looking like a music video as we drove away.

We meet at my house where my spouse is not happy. “What if he comes here,” my honey says. We both look at him. Oh, he is definitely not coming over here. If he is stupid enough to come to my house, he will get a frying pan upside his head. He never shows up. She stays the night. The next day my friend puts him out.

Later, after they are divorced, we tell the tale to the man she is serious about. When she re-marries, at their wedding in my Maid of Honor speech, I say, “Never make me do a drive-by again.” We have ourselves a good laugh at our inside joke, drink champagne, dance, and eat wedding cake.

At the wedding, a little drunk, my spouse tells me he doesn’t quite understand this “ride or die” girl’s thing. I try to explain. She knows me from before I became the prominent corporate executive, the woman you love. We laughed, fought, and ate mayonnaise sandwiches together. We walked up project stairwells together with ball bats to fend off would-be rapists. I know about her first kiss, and she knows all about mine. We sometimes don’t talk for months, but it is just like we spoke yesterday when we do. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to help her. I love her.

My husband of decades smiles and says, “I’m glad you two found each other.” I glance at him and say, “Yea, me too. Genuine friends are hard to find. “

originally published on Medium.com:https://psiloveyou.xyz/im-ride-or-die-with-my-girl-4a9459f504f3

Friendship
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About the Creator

Toni Crowe

Scarcastic executive. Passionate writer. Very opinionated. Dislikes unfairness. Writing whatever I want about whatever I want.

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