I Don't Get a Lot of Poems

Recently, there has been some drama in this community involving two creators I admire and respect, and it breaks my heart to see either of them vilified and misinterpreted or, worse, publicly disparaged in any way, shape, or form.

But this story is not about the drama.

This is about how said drama brought me to look inside and reflect on my own behavior. I did in the past and — since this is the "Confessions" community, I'll be honest — will definitely do it again in the future: leave generic congratulatory comments.

There, I said it.

And I don't have any intention to apologize for it: my intentions were pure, so my conscience feels clean.

There is a reason, though. A dark and awful reason (Nah, just adding words to create a little pathos!)

Here is where I confess and embarrass myself: I don't get a lot of poems.

And not for lack of trying.

I just don't get them.

I read them, reflect on them, and often I am smart enough to realize that there is a subtext, an elusive depth with layers upon layers of meaning... and most of the deeper end is somewhere far, taunting me from the abyss

What should I do when something like this happens?

I don't know what I "should", but here's what happens.

Sometimes I awkwardly back away from the poem, leaving no trace of the fact that I read it at all. And never come back.

This behavior I regret.

I respect the hell out of people who ask questions, and think this shows a brilliant inquisitive mind. So why is it different for me?

Short answer: I'm weird.

Slightly longer answer: I am often afraid to become too intense and annoy people without realizing it, so I try to limit myself.

Most arguments look better in three, but this is no place for the proper long answer.

I'm working on letting go of this self-checking behavior and just commenting from the heart, however weird it can look. Because, as a wise woman once told me, "This is no place to check yourself! Who knows what wonderful ideas could get lost if you did."

Working on it, but can't always make it.

There are other times when I think that a second or third reading might do the trick, so I leave a heart and/or bookmark the poem for another day. One where I'm wiser or — let's be honest again — one where a wiser, more educated, and usually better-looking Vocal member will have left an interesting comment that I can use to grasp some of that elusive meaning.

And that often results in me leaving a heart without comments (This also happens when I feel like I just can't find words that are "good enough" for a poem I enjoyed, though!).

And when we're celebrating the winners of a challenge, I often just want to be supportive and celebrate together. When I get a celebratory comment, it makes me happy, so I want to share that sense of happiness with others.

Isn't "sharing" what a community is about? (I hope so! Else it turns out that I don't get communities either. Yikes!)

Please don't think that if I did leave you a thoughtful comment on your poem, it makes it "too simple" or something!

I'm pretty good at dramatic reading of poems in my head, can appreciate their flow, literal meaning, and a bunch of other things. Also, one can love something they don't fully grasp, like foreign songs and extroverted friends!

It's just that, a lot of times, the subtext of your poems will elude me. The same way sarcasm and sometimes even irony can fly over my head.

But I'm working on it, and hopefully getting better.

In the meantime, please be patient!

Or not.

If you want to mock me for this, go ahead.

But then, please leave me a sarcastic comment so at least I'll think you're being nice! ❤️