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I am Not Your Ally

I may support you, but don't call me an ally

By Chris HearnPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Image by Colin Lloyd

In the world of social justice, it appears that everyone is looking for an ally. Or at least they are looking to use the word ally as many times as they possibly can in a sentence. And those who want to be allies love being called allies. It seems to be a kind of badge of honour. They see it as a sign that they are on the right side of history and in the corner of the good guys. So, they crave that title of ally.

So, why wouldn't I want to be called someone's ally? Simple, really. It's a thankless title that comes with a whole lot of demands. Essentially, if you say you are an ally, you are stuck. You must accept and adhere to the demands of those you ally with. There is no room for dissent. There is no room for questioning. And if you do, you are turned on and told that you aren't a good ally.

I must point out that this isn't the case with everyone. But, because there are enough people who do approach the idea of being an ally this way then I can't help but want to withdraw from being identified as an ally.

To take a most recent example of what I am talking about, let's look at the Black Lives Matter movement. Obviously, I believe in the notion that black lives matter and must matter. That aspect of the movement is something I can get 100 percent behind. I would hope most people could get behind that as well.

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But then, there are those voices in the movement who are calling for the abolition of police. Do I support that? Hell no. No way. Why on earth would I be down for that?

No, not everyone is calling for the abolition of police in the name of BLM...thank goodness. But there will be those in the movement who want abolition of the police and would see me as a terrible ally for not agreeing or supporting that.

There are those within BLM who want a revolution. They believe that overturning capitalism by any means necessary is the way to get the utopian society they want. Am I down with this? Most definitely not! So, ya, not going to be seen as an ally to folks who want to see this.

Another issue? Transgender advocacy. Holy geez, what a minefield that is. On that issue, don't put me down as an ally for anyone, because I will just end up hated in the end, regardless.

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For some women, if you support the right of transgender women to be in women's spaces, such as bathrooms or change rooms, you are seen as a bad ally to biological women. If you don't support it, you are a bad ally to transgender women. You really can't win. I want to support women, whether biological or transgender. I don't want to be in anyone's crosshairs. So, count me out. I'm not an ally to anyone. I have my views on the topic which I don't mind discussing, but guaranteed it will put me in a position that no one will see me as their ally. I'm no ones enemy on this matter, I'm just not interested in having the label ally.

So, here is the deal. I might agree with you on a whole bunch of things. I might support you in so many ways. I might be right beside you for the bulk of your demands. I might be there to help you when you are in need. But, please, for the love of some kind of god, don't call me an ally. Don't put that kind of pressure on me. Don't lock me into some belief system. There will be no way for us to 100 percent agree on everything. And I don't want someone to come back and say, "I thought you were an ally" if I deviate from all the ideas they have. I don't like the word ally. I don't like the expectations. I am not your ally.

Humanity
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About the Creator

Chris Hearn

I'm a 47 year old writer, amateur photographer and amateur dad living in Winnipeg, MB, Canada.

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