How to Really Know You’re in Love

Google “how to know you’re in love” and you’re likely to be met with a barrage of subpar advice. A lot of what you’ll find is more fantasy than reality. Let’s break down the misconceptions and get to the heart of what real love truly is.

Debunking Common Myths About Love

“They’re Always on Your Mind”

This is often just infatuation. If someone is perpetually on your mind, you’re likely neglecting other important aspects of your life. Real love integrates smoothly into your life, bringing calmness rather than chaos.

“You Crave Them” or “Can’t Get Enough of Them”

Again, this sounds more like infatuation. A healthy relationship includes space and independence. Love shouldn’t feel overwhelming or obsessive.

“They’re Your ‘Everything’”

Placing someone on a pedestal as your ‘everything’ isn’t love — it’s dependency. True love complements your life; it doesn’t become your entire life.

“You See Them in Your Future”

Sure, imagining a future together can be a sign of love, but it’s also easy to daydream about unrealistic scenarios. Love isn’t about fitting someone into your fantasies but building a shared reality.

“They’re the Person of Your Dreams”

Dreams are perfect; people aren’t. Real love acknowledges and embraces imperfections.

“You Always Want Them Around”

It’s natural to enjoy someone’s company, but everyone needs their own space. Love respects that need for occasional solitude.

“You’ll Do Whatever It Takes to Impress Them”

Trying too hard to impress someone can be a red flag. True love isn’t about constant validation but about mutual respect and authenticity.

“You’re Scared”

Fear of losing someone isn’t a foundation for love; it’s insecurity. Healthy love is built on trust and confidence, not fear.

“You’re Jealous”

Jealousy indicates attachment issues, not mature love. Real love is trusting and secure.

“They’re Beautiful”

Appreciating someone’s appearance is fine, but love goes deeper. It’s about their character, values, and how they make you feel.

“They’re Kind”

Kindness is a wonderful trait, but love is about much more than someone simply being nice to you.

“You Just Know”

This vague advice doesn’t help anyone. Love is a choice and a series of actions, not an ambiguous feeling.

Recognizing True Love: The Real Indicators

You Decide to Love

Love is an active decision. It’s about choosing to commit and invest in someone daily. It’s a deliberate and conscious effort, not just an emotion.

You Practice Loving Actions

Loving someone means consistently acting in ways that support and uplift them. This includes:

Not intentionally causing harm

Avoiding pettiness, manipulation, and jealousy

Prioritizing their needs and viewpoints

You Love Even When It’s Tough

True love shows itself in difficult times. It’s not about fighting but resolving disagreements with understanding and respect. Love means:

Seeking to understand before being understood

Listening and valuing their perspective

Compromising and forgiving

You Support Their Growth

Love is about supporting your partner’s growth and happiness, even when it includes difficult choices or personal sacrifices.

You Respect Their Independence

A loving relationship balances closeness with individuality. Encouraging each other’s independence is crucial.

Conclusion

Real love isn’t about fantasy or idealization. It’s about making a conscious decision to love someone through actions and commitment, even when it’s challenging. True love integrates into your life, bringing peace and support rather than overwhelming obsession.

FAQs

What if I’m still unsure if it’s love?

Give it time. Observe your actions and feelings in various situations. Love reveals itself through consistent, supportive behavior.

How long does it take to know if you’re in love?

There’s no set timeline. Love develops at different paces for different people. Focus on building a healthy relationship and the feelings will follow.

Can love develop over time?

Absolutely. Love often grows deeper with time as you build trust, respect, and shared experiences.

How can I distinguish between love and friendship?

Love includes a romantic component and deeper emotional and physical intimacy. Friendship is crucial in a relationship, but love involves a stronger, more committed connection.

Is it possible to fall out of love?

Yes, people can grow apart. However, with effort and commitment, many relationships can navigate through these phases and rekindle love.

Thank you so much for your kindness and support!

Warm regards,

Irsa Sultan