How to Make Him Obsessed with You

After spending my life thinking I need a man to feel fulfilled, I am taking time for myself now. Yes I have an unboyfriend, but he is really no more than my new favorite thing. As a friend of mine would say, I'm into something new every week. I'm a little extra, and I invented the side conversation. I am excited about seeing my unboyfriend today, but I've decided I just have a crush on him. I've been infatuated at times, but I know for me that love doesn't last. I'm not sure it lasts for anybody.

On Instagram the other day, I found a woman promoting what four things a woman should do to make a man obsessed with her. It bothered me because right now, I'm obsessed with improving myself. I feel that once my red flags are gone, the right guy will show up. It's not my unboyfriend either, maybe it is, maybe it isn't, it is too soon to tell. We've only been hanging out for six months. I'm pretty shy, so I'm just opening up to him just now.

Truth is, I'm not a very nice person in relationships, and it only got worse once I developed a drinking problem. I've been unfaithful, I have lied, I basically have acted like an addict long before I picked up the first drink. I've been a nag and a shrew. I need to work on those problems far more than having a boyfriend. I'm not sure why people are scared to be alone but it is not bad. Yes, there were growing pains for sure, but now I'm liking it. Some days, I have the uncontrollable urge to roll over and read a book. Some days, I want to go on a hike. Every day, I need more discipline. Discipline actually allows for more fun, not less. Guys do love a girl with discipline; girls with discipline come home at night, don't drive drunk and won't spend all their money.

Let me explain. Being alone may stink a few days of the year, but nothing is worse than staying where you don't belong. Nothing is worse than being alone in a crowd. I know because I speak from experience. I read the book, "Me talk pretty one day," and I actually got yelled at for laughing, seriously yelled at. If that isn't toxic, I don't know what is. In fact, the toxic abuse I suffered for years is shocking to say the least. It was a true Guns-N-Roses relationship. He did actually pull a gun on me, more than once, but when he wasn't violent, I did get love-bombed with roses and gourmet coffee. I have an intense case of chronic post-traumatic stress disorder and this has manifested itself into relationship errors in many ways.

One relationship error, that leads to one of my red flags, is taking Xanax for every minor inconvenience. Feeling a little stressed? Take a pill. Minor insomnia? Take a pill. Don't feel like being a functioning member of society today? Take a pill. Problem is that I took so many pills one time, I overdosed. It is literally hazardous to my health right now to be in a relationship because I need to work on not taking a pill for every minor inconvenience.

Also, in a fit of mania, I signed up for college courses, dance classes, and hiking vacations, unsure of whether or not they suit me. My money woes are a problem for sure. My unboyfriend can be a distraction at times, so I even need to put him on a shelf once in a while. My money woes are another red flag for sure. No one wants to marry a bitch that will go broke on twenty million dollars a year. It's me, I'm bitches. This makes me feel undatable, but I'm hoping that feeling is short-lived. If I work on myself, I'm positive the right guy will show up one day. I hear the sentiment a lot that you find the right one, when you are least expecting it.

My life coach is big on me raising the bar; if I know anything, I can only work on one thing at a time. I'm going to work on raising the bar at work, seeing as I have a fourth grade work ethic. I will raise the bar on men later. This doesn't mean I'm getting rid of my unboyfriend either. Healthy or not, women like to have a guy lined up before they let go of the next guy. I'm actually hoping my unboyfriend helps me break the curse. I'm a terribly judge in character - more on that later. Life is hard enough, so don't fault me for having someone to hang out with at night. What I do with my guy friends behind closed doors is my business, not my life coaches or anyone else's. (By the way, I know it sounds super pretentious to have a life coach - but that is another thing I signed up for a fit of mania - however it has worked out. It has helped me see that I have gifts from my bi-polar brain, and to utilize them when needed). Further, my unboyfriend is one of the best friends I've ever had. I really have the ideal situation with this guy - for now. It stinks that he's not the one, or maybe he is - it is too soon to tell, but I think if he were the one, I would've known by now. I do know that this could go one for another ten years because its comfortable and I'm married to my job. I dread not having him, as much as I dread having a boyfriend.

I'm like the fireworks on the fourth of July, I exploded this morning with ideas and they are flying everyone. My mental health is my primary concern right now. Being mentally fit will get you the guy that you want. Remember, there is no shame in being single, no matter what society says.