How Living in England, Made Me Proud To Be A Serbian Girl

I lived in Northern England for two years and I noticed some striking cultural differences about women from the Yorkshire area. I’ve encountered Yorkshire women who drink too much, whine about the slightest discomforts, underdress (show too much skin when it's just inappropriate) and rarely express what’s truly on their minds.

It irritated me a lot. I come from a different cultural background and obviously, when I lived in England I respected these differences, as I was a foreigner in their country — but I could never fit in with some of these women.

My partner is Welsh and he too disapproved of personality traits that some English women have that are more prominent in the North than in other areas of the UK.

It seems that many of his friends share the same opinion and they would rather marry an Eastern European woman compared to a British girl.

Some men go as far as saying “ If you want a good-looking, well-educated girl with manners then you won’t find her in North England”.

Looking back and reminiscing about my times in the UK — I agree.

I am originally from the Balkans, but I’ve never lived there. I visit Serbia and Montenegro a few times a year to see my wider families. After leaving the UK I’ve realized how many differences there are between the Balkan and British girls.

At times I had to hold back my personality as it would be too “unusual ” and “striking ”for the other British ladies, but since I’ve left I realized how proud and happy I am to be a Balkan girl.

“If I don’t like you, I will tell you straight”

When I lived in the UK my female neighbours despised it when my dog barked. Not once did she approach me and tell me straight in the face, instead she reported this to the police. The next day, she pretended as if nothing happened — she smiled and waved at me.

I showed her the middle finger.

On another occasion, the neighbour complained to other neighbours via group chat that I am too loud when speaking. Again, instead of talking to me directly, she used the Facebook chat to humiliate me in front of the other neighbours.

In Balkans when we have an issue with something or someone we don’t go behind back. We speak directly to you — because we don’t want to escalate things that don’t need escalation.

Later when the neighbour learnt that we are moving, she came by with cookies to apologize and even stated that she would miss us. I didn’t accept the cookies and I bluntly told her that there is no need to lie and pretend that she is sad that we are leaving, because we won’t be missing her at all.

I’ve realized that I am not the kind of person that will keep things bottled up and never address them. I like to sort things out, and if I have a concern, and trust me I had several I always raised it with the person directly before cowardly escalating them elsewhere.

“I want to look my best, always.”

I’ve never seen so many women wearing sweatpants to the city, cinema and even work. I am not sure if it’s connected with the poverty rates in the Northern parts of England, but trust me Serbia is not a rich country — and women take care of themselves.

The number of overweight women also puzzled me. There are women of course who suffer from health conditions that make it harder for them to lose weight, but obesity is a national concern for Britain. And if you ask me, it comes from being unhappy — perhaps because of bottling things up and not speaking their minds.

There are certain women who actually pride themselves on not washing their hair regularly and wearing pyjamas to the store. I don’t get it.

I am a Balkan girl who was raised to always do my best. Balkans have suffered through numerous wars, pressure, poverty and have been on more than one occasion “cancelled” by other countries. We were raised to prove ourselves worthy and to stand out.

I don’t take great care of my appearance because of society — I do it because it's part of my self-care routine. You would never catch me dead in greasy hair, dirty clothes, or chipped nails.

Northern England is full of women looking like that.

“I am not a victim."

When I am not happy with something — I don’t whine. Did I gain weight in lockdown? Yes. What do I do if I want to lose it?

I exercise.

There is no internet connection? So what! I will get by or I will find an alternative way to get internet if I urgently need it.

Uber is late so you can’t take your kid to school? Walk then or learn to drive!

I mean the amount of petty complaints I heard by English women is astonishing. No wonder they are so unhappy.

If you constantly have the victim mentality you will never be happy with yourself and of course, it would be hard for you to start practising self-care and live a more fulfilling life.

I know that when there is a will there is a way. Complaining is just an excuse to keep being miserable.

“It took me years to find the partner for me, and it was worth the wait!”

Yorkshire women sleep around a lot and they just love to brag about it. I don’t personally think it's cool. If you sleep around that’s your personal choice but why share and boast about it so openly?

No wonder there are so many young mothers in West Yorkshire. These mums should become examples to their kids, instead, they show their children it’s okay to enter intimate relationships at 13. It’s sickening. Yes, I’ve heard that too.

Balkan girls love fun, parties and going out — but they do this to enjoy themselves not to find a one night stand. They aren’t easy to get. I used to be single for over 6 years before meeting my partner, I respect myself and my body enough so if I have to wait years for the perfect guy for me — I will.

And it was worth the wait.

“Family comes first, no matter what.”

The number of girls who have no contact with their families in Northern England is large. The family ties aren’t as strong in the UK as they are in the Balkans.

By being so far away from my family I’ve realized how much they mean to me.

Children too are very important to Serbian women, we often put kids even above our needs and whenever possible, we try to spend as much as possible time with them. I know many women in Northern England who would rather continue partying during the weekend than take their children to learn a foreign language or invest in their emotional development.

Why have kids — when you don’t want to give them a better shot at life?

Serbia is generally an old-school country, but it’s especially noticeable when it comes to the views of Serbian women on the family. While in most Western countries feminist perceptions are on the rise — Serbian girls are not in any rush to accept these views as their own.

We want to create our own ideas.

“I don’t get offended easily — I laugh instead!”

Since I left the UK, I’ve realized how strong I am. Witnessing the amount of complaining and whining by Yorkshire women I can honestly say that I am not sure how many of them would survive 3 months without electricity or something worse such as the NATO bombing.

The economic conditions of life in the Balkans have made many women extremely strong. We may look fragile on the outside, but on the inside, there is nothing a Balkan woman can’t do.

We are prepared to do anything and everything to make our dreams come true, and that often includes love. We are very loyal to our partners and friends. You can also count on us no matter what. My partner has seen his friends being cheated on by their girlfriends too many times.

That would rarely happen with a Serbian girl.

Living in Northern England has helped me realize how proud I am to be a Serbian.

We have a truly unique mentality that sets us apart — in the worst circumstances, we always do our best, while looking best and without complaining.

Thank you for reading.