Football Crazy: When what you love hurts you.

I love football, I love playing it and watching it but it gets annoying when you have to go in the back of the boot of the car. I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me explain. I’m a little guy and therefore I can squeeze into little spaces. This can be useful mostly for the benefit of others and to my detriment. Whenever the ball went over the fence, everyone looked at me as if to say ‘go on, you now the drill’. I couldn’t help feeling that I was at a party with friends only the host and everyone else aspect you to serve the meal. I mean come on — its not even my ball.

Sometimes we play football to very late into the night and somewhere too far away to walk home so someone has to bring their car. There are always more people then seats so unfortunately some people have to walk. Now that wouldn’t be a problem but in one case, I confirmed my seat and was to there was a spot. Delighted that I wouldn’t have to walk home I tell my friends to not wait for me. When it was time to go home, I walked towards the car with five other guys, I was confused as there clearly was only space for four people and the driver. I thought that one of them was going to get quite disappointed. To my surprise, my friend the driver told everyone to get in the car. Me being the ever observant one stated that there wasn’t enough space. Everyone had a confused look on their faces. ‘What are you talking about’ one of them said, ‘your going in the boot aren’t you’.

I looked right and left and wondered why there seemed to be a strong consensus in that statement as if it was obvious. Too my horror it looked it had already been decided in fact it was obvious truth to which didn’t need explanation or agreement. I was obviously going into the boot. I was stuck. I felt that protesting would be pointless and worse my other friends, who I usually walked home with, were long gone. I wouldn’t be able to catch up even if I ran. The other guys looked at me as if I were horse refusing to be ridden. In my head I could hear ‘but this is what you do, what you were made for’. The fact that my own consciousness felt more surprised at why I didn’t think this was going to be the end result was the worst thing. I felt my inner voice screaming ‘What did you expect you idiot, the boot is where you belong’.

They opened the trunk. The put their football kits inside. The driver told them stop. Finally, some decency, maybe I may avoid this embarrassing situation after all. ‘Keep your bags with you he needs some space to fit in’ the driver said. The last shred of my self-respect disappeared. All hope was lost. They didn’t have the decency to at least look the other way while I stumbled my way in. I felt so annoyed that I didn’t notice that the driver left his football boots at the back of the boot. There was almost eerie feeling in the atmosphere. I could hear owls hooting. The door closed and everyone continued to act as nothing happened. They returned to their conversations. Making jokes and discussing what game they just had. For some reason the driver starting talking about a peach tree he use to climb as kids with a friend he didn’t particularly like but couldn’t remember the name of. I remembered that I was the friend he was talking about. I didn’t say anything because In that brief moment I began to question my relationships and the current state of my life – was I overreacting well all I was contemplating if I should take my shoes off before I went inside the boot. Sigh.

I guess this what being in Stalin’s Soviet Union was like. You’re at a get together with friends and suddenly your being slowly taken away to the programs and what’s worse, as soon as your away from the view of your friends and relatives, the chatting and laughing starts again. I once thought about what it would feel like if I were buried alive. Not anymore. I know as much as I need to. People would mourn for a moment but eventually everyone moves on. It couldn’t get any worse. Then the smell of the football boots hit me. The sweat from the shirt and the football boots combining together like a ‘Megazord’ dripping on my chest. My father told me that life has tendency to laugh at you so make sure you laugh back. If only he warned me of the smell.