Flawed Thinking

The anger built up until Danny thought he might explode. Why Mandy didn’t want to pick him up, he’ll never know.

He said some nasty things to her and knew he would have to apologize later, but right now, he was still angry with her. Mandy and Danny had been a couple for almost two years and they had their ups and downs like every couple but they were really good together.

Danny decided that the railroad tracks would probably be the quickest way back to town. He put on his headphones, checked his watch, jacked up his music and started walking. He hadn’t gotten more than a mile, when the train came upon him. He never heard it. Led Zeppelin had prevented that.

He was hit and dragged for a short bit. When it was all over, his left leg was gone and he was bleeding profusely.

“I don’t want to die out here.” He searched for his cell phone and saw it just a foot or so away. He dragged himself to the phone and thought, I need to make a call before I pass out.

Although still angry with Mandy, he dialed her and quickly said . . .

“I’m on the tracks between Gordon’s farm and the field with the rusted out cars. I need an ambulance fast.”

Before Mandy could say anything, blackness overtook Danny and he slumped on the ground.

Danny awoke to find doctors frantically working on his legs. He didn’t even realize it at the time because of the trauma, but his right leg was completely mangled in addition to his left leg being gone.

“We might be able to save the right leg if we get him to surgery right now,” one of the doctors said as they whisked him away to the operating room.

Hours later, Danny awoke to find Mandy at his bedside, crying softly.

“Don’t cry, honey,” Danny whispered.

“I’m sorry, ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t come to get you. If I had, you wouldn’t have been on the tracks. This never would have happened. I should have just picked you up.”

“This is not your fault, Mandy,” Danny responded.

I was angry that you didn’t come, but I was the one who chose to walk on the tracks without paying attention.”

Led Zeppelin was keeping me company and I had it cranked so loud that I never heard the train. Not your fault.”

Mandy wiped her tears as Danny looked down at his legs. His left leg was gone. His right leg was impaled with multiple pins, rods, screws and traction bars.

The doctor appeared at the door and went over all the details of the surgery.

“We repaired your right leg as best as possible. We won’t know if you get to keep it for about 48 hours. We have to wait and see. Your left leg was a traumatic amputation. You saved your own life by using your belt as a tourniquet. You might have bled to death without it.”

Mandy reached for his hand and squeezed tightly.

She was very proud of him but still anxious about the future. They had just gotten engaged two weeks ago. What now?

Danny looked at Mandy and a silent tear rolled down his cheek.

“I guess that’s the end of my football career before it ever has a chance to start,” Danny moaned.

He was a first draft pick right out of his junior year at college. The future looked bright.

“This changes everything Mandy. I can’t take care of myself let alone someone else. We have some talking to do and decisions to make.”

Two days later, the doctors told Danny that the right leg could not be saved and they would have to amputate it before infection set in.

Danny was finally being released from the hospital three months later and the rehab had taken him as far as he could go. Prosthetic limbs were now the topic of conversation.

“Please go to therapy and at least see the prosthetic legs,” Mandy pleaded.

“NO! Stop bugging me about it.”

Danny had fallen into a deep depression.

“I’m no good to anyone like this. Can’t take of you or myself. I don’t want kids that I can’t play with. I can’t get a job. I can’t walk across the room to turn off a light or get a snack. Fuck this!”

Mandy had run out of steam trying to get through to Danny.

“Mandy, I don’t want to live like this. I had a huge future and now I have nothing. I don’t want to live like this. What do I do?”

She helped him get into his wheelchair so he could go outside for a while. She hoped the sunshine and warm breeze would cheer him up a little. She felt so guilty still and wanted to do something to help Danny.

He rolled down the driveway toward the mailbox to get the mail. Mandy, without any thought of what she was about to do, jumped in her car and ran him over.

She said later that she thought if she killed him, he would be better off. She had no idea why this thought jumped into head, but it seemed logical at the time and she only wanted to help. She would spend the next 15 years in prison for attemped murder.

Danny’s mom yelled at Mandy as she ran down the driveway toward Danny. He raised his head and said . . .

“I can’t move.”