Fish Out of Water

Being a native Hawaiian and born in Hawai’i, I was exposed to many diverse cultures, ethnicities, and traditions growing up. The Melting Pot of the Pacific is a label surrounding the islands. So, I am used to meeting people not of my faith, race, and culture. I mean, with white, pristine beaches, eighty-degree weather, and wonderful, natural island beauty, Hawai’i is a destination many from around the world desire to traverse too. But if you have seen the movie Moana, many native Hawaiians have the same mentality as her. If you have not watched it, highly recommended.

Now, I have experienced “social shock” on my own native island and with my native people. Those were embarrassing and lonely times. However, I contribute that to life choices and desires to not completely submerse myself in my Hawaiian culture. For instance, I cannot surf because I have no balance and played sports growing up. I do not dance the hula because of the balance thing. I cannot speak fluent Hawaiian because I just suck at it. And above all, I HATE pineapples on my pizza.

Shocking? Yes! Uncommon? No!

But defining this phrase, “social shock” can be difficult. Past individuals probably identified many varying degrees of social shock and have labeled them in their own terminology. I would not know these terms, but I know how they feel at each, individual stage and this is how I have labeled them.

1. The first level is: uneasiness. It is like walking down, the street with nobody around and feeling like you are being watched. That, alone, can be shocking.

2. Judgement is the second level. When you have a certain culture, belief, political agenda or idea, people (especially people who are a majority in that region) judge it to be wrong, just because you are different from them.

3. Assault comes in third place. People attack what they do not understand. It is like a survival instinct, but in this case, it deals with the mentality of society. It is mostly wording they attack with, but an assault in any way is still an assault.

Side note: this causes some weird reaction to the people who do the assaulting. The assaulter believes they must show you the error of your ways and lash out in varying degrees at the victim. WHY!? What point does it serve to tell someone that, “You don’t like Pineapple? Well, you’re obviously not Hawaiian!” Oh yes because you’re the biological expert on the Hawaiian people. Thanks, but no thanks.

4. The last level is alienation. The feeling of being alone can encompass many mental and emotional disorders but can correlate to “social shock”. When the first three steps are reached, loneliness and alienation set in. That feeling that nobody is listening to you or wants you around occurs in this final stage.

Mind you, this is the negative aspect of “social shock” that can cause scaring and depression. With almost everything, there can be a positive side to this. However, I will tell my story of the negative effect it had on my life and these different levels of SOCIAL SHOCK!

In 2008, I graduated from high school and was about to get my first taste of what the world outside of the islands will look like. Never being on my own before this moment, I applied and got accepted to a college in Saint George, Utah known as Dixie State College, (before it was a university). Anxiousness did not begin to describe the emotions I felt when I first left for the mainland (as we islanders call the continental United States of America). I never knew how different and uniformed a place can be. Hawai’i has a plethora of differences if you know what I mean. Utah has little.

My mother and I landed in Utah. The cold and huge mountains were shocking to me. Not a social shock perse, but shocking. But the first level of shock came to me when I went to my first class at Dixie State. People had blonde hair, blue eyes or brown/black hair, brown/black eyes. So, some difference, yes. But all those students in my class had one thing in common…they were all Caucasian. Now, I am not a person that cares about race and skin color, but I always tell people this when they ask me how it was moving up here for the first time.

I said, “I felt like a brown dot on a white sheet of paper.”

Very descriptive, right?

Well, for good reason.

It was a math class, that I loathe. What’s worst, it is basic algebra that I cannot remember how to do, even to this day. Anyway, the class, as was most of my classes on the mainland, were filled with Caucasian people. Occasionally, darker skin people of varying degrees sparse around the room. But you could count those people on one hand. That is when my brown dot and white sheet of paper analogy came to my mind. This was the first stage of social shock I encountered.

Now, I know how that sounds. You maybe thinking, “Pono, that is pretty racist of you to notice the skin of all the white people in that class.” But I was uneasy because I felt like I did not belong. I did not believe people were going to want to hangout with me. I felt like a fish out of water.

After class ended, I started walking to my next class when a group of people came up to me. A few boys and a couple girls were in the group. There was even a white girl in a wheelchair. I sympathized with her a lot because we took care of an aunt who had to use a chair due to being mentally and physically handicap.

One of the guys in front walked up to me and said, “You from Hawai’i?”

“Yeah” was all I could say. I am naturally introverted, but I was still shocked people came up to me. I had high hopes that I was going to make new friends in a strange land. My face was passive, no smile, and dead eyes, but my mind was racing. People, different people talking to me.

“That’s cool,” one of my interviews responded. “I bet you love pineapples?” He sniggered!

Not catching the sarcasm, I started to laugh, because I knew there was a public misconception about Hawaii and Pineapples. If you are from Hawai’i, you must be doing this.

“No,” I continued to chuckle. “I actually don’t like pineapples. And I don’t surf.” I smiled.

That is when I saw a girl tap one of the boy’s shoulder and whispered something in his ear. My smile faded and looked at the group.

“Wow! Awesome,” said one of the girls. “Well, listen, we are having a game night at our apartment complex, and you should come.”

My smile returned.

“Sure, I’d love to,” I enthusiastically responded.

As we parted I was on cloud nine. I was going to have friends in this new land. Maybe, not the same ones I had at home. Also, not as diverse as home, but still I thought them great people. But little did I know, this was where the second level of social shock occurred. They had made judgements about me. Some were good, but a few were not so much. Which I would learn later that night.

As the time arrived, I was nervous and excited at the same time. I headed over to the complex and saw the same group I met earlier. There were even more people there.

“Hey, man,” the dude that flagged me down said. No body still knew how to pronounce my name.

“Welcome. How are you man?”

“Great,” I happily replied.

“Hey,” he shouted. “Since everyone is almost here, let’s get started.”

We all got into a circle, and we started getting instruction for the game we were playing. It was some follow the leader with action game. I cannot remember the details, but it looked like it was going to be great.

After a few minutes of explanation, there was a knock at the door and three people trickled in. One of them was the girl in the wheelchair I met earlier.

Now, before I continue this story, I want to preference this next segment with, I believe there are good and bad people in every individual, group, race, ages, and so on. I was about to get the biggest racial, social shock of my life. What was worse, I was going to realize how different and alone I was here in this new and unknown place.

As the girl in the wheelchair was making her way over to the circle, I made room for her to sit next to me. Because that is the nice thing to do, right?

And as she rolled next to me, I was about to introduce myself, thinking we were going to have a great conversation.

I will never forget what this young lady said.

She turned to me, looked me straight in the eye for five seconds with a cynical expression then she scanned the room and said with the utmost seriousness in her voice, “I have to sit next to the brown kid?”

This was the third stage of social shock according to Pono. I was at a lost for words. A white girl, in a wheelchair no less, said that she had problems sitting next to the brown kid…Me!

I have never been racially profiled in my entire life. I felt attacked, assaulted, by this comment from a Caucasian girl in a wheelchair. I literally sat there, stunned in silence. After she made that comment, I looked around to see people’s shocked faces. Some where smiling, others where confused, but most where undeterred by this fact. Then laughter erupted from the circle.

This was where the final stage of social shock hit. I got up, opened the door, and walked back to my apartment.

Alone!

Since this moment of my life, I have made many great friends, African American, Asian, Mexican, Indian, Polynesian, and even Caucasian. I still get lost, feel alienated, and depressed from time to time.

But it was this moment in my life, were social shock affected me in the worse way possible. Where I did not belong!

With our world going through many different types of “social shock” involving bigotry, terrorism, hate, and other things, we need to realize that we are all the same. Just because we may look, believe, and think differently, does not mean we are obligated to be negative towards others.

I continue to try and not use this experience as a foundation to how I view people that are different than I am. But I have learned that, because of my difference and the diversity of life, that I can make my own decisions to choose WHO I want to have around me. I am creating my own social network that involves people that are kind, caring, respectful, and genuine. This way, the only social shock I receive, is the shock of happiness and peace!