Emotional Dichotomy

What it is to feel so separated? Seeing the new from an old perspective. Not so left out but slowly growing insane. Someone new in the times so separated. Experiences rise and surround the town, When one chapter closes, another one opens. From you or them, you see and hear what you wish. You dream of the experiences to come. Everything is new and no time to stop. You slow down to catch your breath but find your fuse is out. You see new experiences and moments in front of you, thinking if you are going too slow or just jealous of a different side of you.

Recap

You go through your mind thinking of truth, wondering if you will ever find that someone, that wants you. Pieces move for those to see, you see the luck that runs in those who cannot believe. You put into practice what has been said, your luck isn't there so you strike out instead. Seeing the life of an outside ranger, thought someone else will find you. You have been through a lot and learned about pain and sorrow. Caught with the same folk that lifts you to tomorrow.

Wanting so much so you don't miss out, can't share things that falter in truth without. Trauma and fear return to the surface. Losing faith in the growth that is me, have the sixth sense to know what comes of the people around me. Scared and alone is the truth that one feels, not like a third wheel but to find, that love isn't real. Pleasure and tease are what it comes down to, feeling lost like I can't find you. 

A Falter

I feel like I had you, someone for me, messed it up and now I had to restart my family. Grown with anxiety that began to falter, trauma grew up while a heart went fonder. Adults like two where we all have fun, except for the one that had a hard time finding fun in a new one. A sense of security, peace, and foundation, the same people around is what was hoped when you found him.

No more searching or looking for the new, yet don't realize that they move fast and you're just a slow Pichu. Gasping for straws you try to find the one to keep you growing, everyday calling with maybe less snoring. The pain of choice rises so rapidly, that you still feel the hurt and its tragic ceremony. Went too fast and lost the opportunity, now feeling like you will never know what it feels like to be home or share an identity. No tea or shade to the people you love, you no longer feel the home that meant so much. 

Lost

Lost sight of self so need to bring it back, got to remember that life is no hack. People have fun and that's different for you, even when you feel that it's all about you. Want to feel free from the shackles that bind me, and find my tribe while I can have my wine. Fit so many boxes yet they don't last long, is the heart the problem or am I just wrong?

Emotions are too heavy yet trauma finds its way, to have an effect on this life and the actions that put me astray. It all seems easy when you see them from afar, poisoned confidence is what tore me apart. Live every day to be the best you can be, slowly trying to finish the goals you set out for me. Push yourself forward and control what hurts, the feelings are said to be valid but not when your heart is in the dirt. Labels are important, they help others astray, learn about the culture and put some hatred at bay. Not knowing any from an experience perspective, trying to find the meaning of life and what fun is from my perspective.