Down

This morning I woke up and I was feeling down. I'm not sure why but the weather is very grey outside. I've woken up and I've got to try and get back into work. Yesterday I got very soaked and I was not feeling great,and today seems to be a continuation of what happened yesterday without the monsoon weather.

So what do you do when you're actually feeling down? I need to actually drag myself out of it, not everybody can do this. There are people who have major problems and major issues and you know and I have mine. I need to actually play some music. Music is a great lift for me and putting something on, finding something new,helps me a lot.

Another thing that really lifts me is conversations with people. Just speaking to people is a great boost either by text or a phone or video call. Yesterday my conversations on the vocal groups were almost non-existent. There are a couple of comments and sharing things, but no full conversations.That's nobody's fault, because I don't deserve anybody's attention, but it’s lovely to see a text pop up with a “How are you?” message. I have had a couple of heart to hearts with a few friends over the last few days , and it’s strange I still always think I have to sort myself out, although it may be as simple as lack of attention that is part of my problem.

Some days I have lots of people speaking to me, but not yesterday or today although 3 conversations popped up at the same time. They didn't last very long and it was just giving people information rather than a conversation.

Another thing that's actually uplifting is going for a walk and had not intended to go this far. I walked down to my local Roman Catholic Church Gardens St James and St Basil's, and it described it as an “Oasis of Peace” . Walking around there is very calming, very relaxing. Once I've finished there and I start walking home I am going to be in a good place and I am really really lucky that I can do this.

Many people are in very dark places and they don't have a way out. They are so under pressure from their own feelings, everybody hates them, nobody likes them. I get that feeling too then just maybe go onto the vocal groups and look at all the positive feedback and love that I get. I know that I can contact people. I have people where I can actually go to the house at 4 in the morning knock on the door I will be invited in so I am anything but unloved.

One of the problems with this is the fact it is grey and cold. It's not raining but it is just a dreach day and it really really is not conducive to lifting your spirits.

I've got to drag my spirits up, and I will do. I am glad for you reading this and I hope that some people get some tips out of it. I am by no means in a bad position or a bad place. I can do what I want. I can go for a walk.

At this point I am again walking around the St James and St Basil's “Oasis of Calm” and it is definitely good for you to actually do things like this, and you know it's doing me good. I'm going to go home. I am going to put some records (The Smiths and The Who hmmmm)

So my solution to feeling down is to have a conversation, go for a walk, and listen to music. All those things can actually help you. The conversation might not be available, but music is always available, and going for a walk is usually available, apart from yesterday when we had monsoon weather and you know I just got wetter than I've ever been while fully clothed.

This piece was dictated into Google Docs and then tidied up before submission so apologies if it’s a bit rickety.

Music wise , “Rings Around The World” by the Super Furry Animals comes to mind, I want to you to know I am being positive just some days (mostly Wednesdays) I do feel a little down.