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Dear Mama...

by Sai Marie Johnson 3 days ago in Humanity

A Confession

Picture of Sai Marie © 2022

Dear Mama,

This is a confession I know that you're not expecting but I feel like it's one that's important that I convey as I grow closer to forty years of age; when I was a little girl my hero without a doubt has always been my mother. I found you, Mama, to be the most beautiful person that I had ever seen and I suppose that's also because yours was the first face I ever saw, but for me, it has always been more than that. I remember watching you, Mom when you would get ready in the mornings, and how you did your hair. Your makeup was always on point and, there was never a day when you did not look absolutely beautiful no matter what, and it always inspired me. Oh, how I wished that I could be as beautiful as you were, but I never thought it would be something I could prove truly possible because I had so little self-esteem as a youngster. I was so shy, and scared. I was the very epitome of a timid little girl, and it almost seemed like I wasn't good enough to be your daughter nor nearly as pretty, but that was never for anything that you did and despite this, I really saw you as my hero.

So, I say this now because I want you to know how much I love you and how great of an influence you have ended up being to me despite some of the barriers and issues that we have had to fight through. I know that your guidance shaped me to become strong enough to be a capable woman who can stand on her own two feet and make her own choices without the need for anyone to direct her path. I think that it has been a very hard path for me to find the self-love I needed in order to feel this empowered in life, but if it were not for the pearls of wisdom you provided I do not think I ever would have become so independent and able to critically think. I am happy to be at a stage of life where doing so not only benefits me but by setting strong boundaries I have become so free of toxicity that my fears and need to shrink away into a cocoon have finally all but faded. It is with a great deal of admiration that I write out this confession, and I hope that your eyes receive it with the same amount of genuine energy that I have spent in crafting it. I think that reflecting on every moment in life is important, but taking the time t recount our little successes was something you facilitated and it helped me to find myself. I imagine that this is not the confession you were looking for, and maybe you wanted to hear about some bad thing I had done in the past, but I'm not sorry to say; naw, not happening! You might find more confessions to come that might serve you better in that department by tuning in to something one of my siblings has to say, but that's not my place! Haha, had to remind you of those days, but wanted to give you a little laugh to add to the sincerity of my message. Ultimately, ensuring you have a smile and a great day is the whole point of this.

I love you greatly and I'm very blessed to call you my mother, and my confession is you've always been a superhero to me. 🥰💛🌻

Humanity

About the author

Sai Marie Johnson

A multi-genre author, poet, creative&creator. Resident of Oregon; where the flora, fauna, action & adventure that bred the Pioneer Spirit inspire, "Tantalizing, titillating and temptingly twisted" tales.

Pronouns: she/her

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