Dear Daddy

The doctor called me out into the hallway and dreadfully explained the inconsolable situation. The illness had advanced beyond sanguinity. There was no longer hope, there was no cure. I resentfully watched as they unplugged all of the machines and took out all of the tubes.

I would not spend another Christmas with you. You wouldn’t be here for Thanksgiving nor would you be here to see all of the trick-or-treaters on Halloween. Today was your last day, these were our very last moments together.

I sat beside your bed and held your hand, watching you breathe and counting each breath. How does a girl tell her daddy goodbye? I thought about your birthday coming up soon. You should be turning seventy-five years old, but you wouldn’t. Instead, you would be leaving all of those Earthy occasions behind. Precious moments that once meant so much would no longer hold dedication. There would only be emptiness and longing for what could have been.

I decided to take you out of that cold, pale hospital room. I wanted your closing moments to be full of beautiful memories that we could both take with us. As I carefully helped you dress, I remembered how you had once helped me. I was taken back to my very first day of school and how you knelt down to tie my shoes. Bittersweet tears filled my eyes as I looped your shoestrings. “Keep your fingers inside the bunny ears, then hold tight and pull,” I repeated those words as I looked up into your fragile eyes. You smiled down at me; I knew that you remembered.

The doctors and nurses stood in a line against the wall as I wheeled you down the hallway. Some of them waved goodbye and some of them wiped the tears from their eyes. One doctor even saluted you as we slowly passed. You felt honored that they were showing so much respect. Fifty years later, you still carried that young, proud soldier inside of you.

We drove up into the mountains to the place that you always took me to as a child. You loved the view, it felt as if the sky was within reach. All of the world's problems seemed so small and irrelevant from way up there. I remember the day that we built that old wooden table together. It still stands strong although it has faded and weathered over the years.

You smiled as I helped you out of the car and seated you at our table. I watched as the sunlight twinkled and sparkled in your eyes. For a moment I could almost hear the laughter from years past singing through the trees.

I placed a slice of chocolate cake in front of you as lit the single candle. “Happy birthday daddy.” As I kissed your cheek, I could taste the salty tears that were slipping down your face. Although you couldn’t speak to me, I didn’t need words to feel the love and affection radiating from you. Your most favorite treat was German Chocolate Cake. I made one for you every year since I was just a little girl. I knew that after today I would never make another one.

We sat in silence, taking in the beauty and the memories. The air grew cool as evening settled in. It was time for us to leave. As we made our way back to the car you stopped and took one final look around. I shared the experience with you as I gazed into the golden sunset. I knew in my heart that this was the last time either of us would ever return to this beautiful place.

As I drove down the winding mountain road, I watched you lean your head back and close your eyes. You reached over and placed your hand on top of mine and squeezed. I slowed down and pulled the car over into a clearing. You were gone. I watched as the sunset faded and I said my goodbyes. Through the tears, I looked up just in time to see a single star flickering in the evening sky.

When a star is born

They possess a gift or two

One of them is this

They have the power to

make a wish come true

I smiled because you use to sing that song to me when I was feeling sad. My only wish is that there is no more pain or sadness and that where ever he is, my daddy gets a slice of chocolate cake each and every day.

I will forever love you, daddy.