Dating in the 21st Century

;2022. What a year. It's been hell. Hell (no immediate pun intended) the last 13 years of my romantic life have been hell. And when I say hell I actually mean more like nonexistent. Well in most cases it has been nonexistent. Let me restart.

Hi my name is Erika and I have been off and on dating websites since I was 18 years old. Does this make me pathetic? Maybe. Does this make me a little desperate to no longer feel "lonely"? Perhaps. Does it make for some interesting and in some cases hysterical stories? Oh you bet it does. I am still currently on dating platforms and there are still some interesting stories, great ones still to be had too.

I suppose I might as well start from the beginning. I have been single since I was 18 years old. I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks after starting college, feeling like I was being held back since it was already a long distance relationship. I had already been barely able to see him and things were growing tense between us due to the distance and lack of communication and trust.

Now, just because I broke up with my ex that didn't mean I didn't want to date or have a relationship. I was young (still am), and fresh out in the world. I never really dated in high school and still hadn't been on a single one-on-one date with anyone. I was looking forward to have a true college experience. Getting to date, going to parties, maybe getting drunk, and moving out of my comfort zone.

Too bad I didn't calculate the security and safety of that last part. I ended up getting myself in situations that well, none of them were terribly dangerous but they were uncomfortable, especially online dating. I've had guys think it was cool to just message me with 'hey baby', 'ur cute', 'ur 2 hawt', and so on and so forth. As someone who went to school for English and theater, one of my biggest turn offs is someone who can't even attempt proper grammar or spelling. The best, and by best, I mean worst and most inappropriate message I would ulimtately receive was 'hey baby how'd u like daddy 2 dominate dat ass'.

I still think about that message for many reasons. First, it was and still is one of the most disrespectful things a stranger has ever said to me. Second, he could spell dominate correctly but he couldn't write out the words 'would, 'you', 'to', or 'that'. He didn't have a profile photo or anything written in his profile. And well, it was so out there and ridiculous that I didn't know what to do.

It's right up there with the guy that told me on a PAID dating site the size of his....little friend. That one was awkward because I didn't expect that. We were talking for two weeks before deciding to me meet but whenever I suggested a date he'd have some new excuse. At one point while trying to make a time to meet in person he asks me "Do you like to please or be pleased?" My naive mind had NO IDEA what he was talking about. I was under the impression that I am a people pleaser so I said both. Boy was that stupid. And his questions got progressively dirtier until he told me he had a nine inch...well I think you can finish that thought.

Such messages have become a normal thing. I have many guys who will match with me on dating sites and none will message or respond to my messages. I once tried to play the assertive, cool 21st century woman I am and asked to just meet a match in person as opposed to wasting our time on the dating site and he said I was being to presumptuous. I'm sorry, didn't people used to meet in bars and at work instead of the internet? I'm tired of playing games with the dating sites but apparently others thing it's cool still.

The dating world has only gotten worse. People will say the want a relationship but in the end, in my experiences, most of it is just animalistic. they only wish for sex. More stories are sure to come, with time and patience for there is SOOOO much fun to go on.