Big Girl, Small Town

Karina was a gorgeous boss babe with a demeanor like no other. With her brown slanted eyes, full caramel lips, and nicely shaped hips, it was haaarrrd not to stare. She commanded respect when she walked into a room without saying a word and took your breath with her when she left. She was full of life because she already conquered one of her own. Now? She was simply enjoying the fruits of her labor.

Karina was born and raised in a real ratchet ass lil' town down south. By day it was like a little small utopia for black businesses and the country side was lit up with trees and mobile homes everywhere. But by night? Eshiiiiddd, it was best to stay in the house no matter where you were. Mackville, South Carolina to be exact. A place where black people lived and thrived everywhere in the city and the rural areas were limited to wealthy white folks and middle class black people. But inside Karina, there was a totally different world opening up to be explored.

"Rina", as we called her was such a confused little lady inside. From seeing her daddy beat on her mama, to drug infested families, and failures galore, there wasn't much that she hadn't seen or experienced by 18. Sis had PTSD like a motherfucker, she didn't trust NOBODY...but she genuinely needed SOMEBODY. Family was no help. There was no in-house "D". Counseling wasn't an option and friends we're loyal.

This is the diary of Karina Frederick. Turn the pages with us daily as we dive into a world of drugs, sex, greed, lies, disloyalty, guilt, and more!

January 2, 2005

Hi new journal! My auntie gave me this to write in and "share my feelings" for Christmas, so I guess I'll give it a shot. I plan to write in you every single day and keep you in my bookbag so no one will ever read you. Now where do I start. Well today was ok. My mama made some Hoppin John, greens, macaroni and cheese, and fried chicken. That thang was bussiiiiiin!! Me and Bubba went outside and shot a few firecrackers but we didn't stay too long because we were really trying to get mama to take us down on the block. But before we could even leave the crib...daddy came home. =( He was acting weird as usual but I still don't really know what's wrong with him. He be talking funny and he be real antsy. I have no clue what it is. Either way, I be super happy when my daddy get home so I really don't care. I just hope they don't start that arguing tonight because I got my first basketball game of the year tomorrow and I need my ballers rest. *sighs* Wonder if either of them plan on coming to any of my games this season. My birthday is in one month and one day....that's all I want. N-E-Wayz, the boo is still the boo. He playing basketball this year too so that's another plus to stay out of this house with these crazy people. The longer I can stay at school, the better...unfortunately. My eyes are getting heavy so it's almost time for me to k.o.. If I can remember, I'll try to tell you about my dreams in the morning. Maybe if I write them down, I'll stop having the same one over and over. By the way, I hope that bald headed girl don't come to school tomorrow. I just want ONE DAY....JUST ONE without having to worry about her saying or doing something mean...I'm not that lucky though. Goodnight journal.