An Ex from Hell

I was once married to the devil. Not really but she was evil and controlling. The devil could easily take notes though that’s for sure. We were only dating for about six months before I casually asked her if she wanted to get hitched. I didn’t get on my knees or do anything special. Probably should have though, but I was young, dumb and full of cum as they say.

I had started a antique business while we were first dating and had a few stalls in an antique mall with a friend who was part of the business as well. I ended up going in debt and screwing up my credit and suffering hardcore depression when my small business went belly up. No sales and fighting with my business partner and along with too much competition totally wiped me out along with all of my savings.

That was the welcome my soon to be wife got when we first started dating. I was also an alcoholic and a full time smoker, camel menthol cigarettes were my favorite way to destress and unwind. She ended up smoking with me and we’d split a pack a day, maybe more if I picked up extra money donating plasma. My friend who ended up being a complete dick and a total junkie, stopped caring about the business and got into meth and other drugs like coke and speed.

He ended up screwing my girlfriends boss and even had sex on my bed and in my living room as well. He was gay and that was fine but when I told him I didn’t want to have sex with him since I was straight, he would then make up lies to anyone he could about my sexuality even to my soon to be wife. He was a real piece of shit to say the least.

We ended up having to move away and I never spoke to him again, and it was only when my wife was Facebook stalking him years later did we find out that he had died. I wasn’t sad at all to say the least, but that friendship that had so much potential was gone and that chapter forever closed, no apology and no remorse. No chance to make amends for either of us.

When we got married it was inside a Mormon church with a Mormon bishop who led the official proceedings. Her mom and dad was there, my parents didn’t have a clue I was dating or in a relationship. She wore a nice dress, I wore a hoodie and underneath was a Britney Spears T shirt. Okay maybe I was a huge asshole for doing this but it’s the honest to God truth.

Afterwards I wanted to go to the bar and tell my friends I got married and I may have ended up shit faced, so much I didn’t have sex that night and passed out in our bed and snored super loud according to my ex. I have to admit maybe I was an alcoholic. I was also about to graduate from a Christian university getting a degree in marketing.

I ended up graduating and working on call center for a credit card company and made a little above minimum wage. We ended up in a two bedroom apartment with a cute Rottweiler puppy named Barry. He was soo damn cute and cuddly.

She ended up working at the same call center with me, until I got fired for misinterpreting the rules so to speak. I was doing something some people might say was unethical but hey I just got fired so no harm no foul.

I ended up working at a papa johns inside a college campus after that and made friends with a guy who did heroin sometimes and even brought a loaded handgun with him to school since he was soo paranoid due to the drugs he was on. He ended up going to rehab and the manager I worked with, ended up coming out to me as gay. He was confused and scared and I managed to help him come to grips with it. I told him it’s not your sexuality that defines you but how you treat others.

People may or may not accept you if you come out it, but if they don’t then your better off without people like that. My philosophy is if you are gay and really nice and kind, then we can be friends all day every day. If someone is straight and a jerk, I won’t be friends with them, I judge based on their character that’s it fair and square.

So he came out to his parents the next week and they accepted him with open arms and I got a raise, win win for me and him. My parents are pastors and would never accept me if I was gay so I’m happy I’m straight but I do empathize with people who are gay or lesbian and have parents who don’t understand or don’t accept them as they are.

Anyways after a little while of working, and being broke and barely able to pay bills and with student loans and maxed out credit cards, I started drinking even more, sometimes up to half a bottle to a full bottle of vodka a day. My wife now ex made me quit cold turkey and even though it was hard, it was the best move for me at the time. She also felt bad for smoking so she made us both quit so we could become better Mormons. That was hard to do quitting nicotine and alcohol at the same time.

We got mad at each other all the time and yelled and fought daily. She would scratch me with her long nails til I would scream and then I would fight back and mainly use words to hurt her and I wouldn’t hold back. I destroyed her self esteem and for that I regret it every day.

I think it was us having so much stress along with being newly married and her finding out I slept with a girl in Ohio when I went to visit my parents and grandma. Now to be fair I was super drunk and I regretted it, but I still did it. When we were married the worst thing I did was go to a strip club, but I didn’t get a lap dance so it wasn’t that bad.

She was super cute and thin when we were first married, but all the stress caused her to start stress eating a lot. I’m pretty sure she gained over eighty pounds. We still had sex often but truth be told it was hard to recapture that same spark we had when we first met. I started looking at porn a lot more and when she found out it only made things worse.

Sometimes i couldn’t even get hard without imagining someone else while we had sex. I went from getting blowjobs almost daily to once a week then soon once a month. It went from experimenting with a lot of positions and having fun to doing the same routine two times a week for maybe ten minutes each. Starting with the missionary position then switching to doggystyle then finishing with her on top, and then orgasming deep inside her. She was on the pill so I didn’t have to worry about her getting pregnant.

She was younger then me by six years and I was truly the first real relationship she had, and to be fair she was a rebound from a girl I had truly deeply loved. I waited about five months after I had broken up with my other ex and then I met my wife and now ex.

The truth is I had loved my last girlfriend and I wanted to move to Missouri to go to college there. I thought I could do long distance but it was too hard. I didn’t ask her to go with me and that is one of my biggest regrets. If I had asked her and she went with me, most likely I would have married her and been truly happy. My ex was second best and when I was with her I did love her but not as much as I did with my ex. I was lost and didn’t think I’d find someone else like her so I settled and found the first girl who really liked me for me after I waited a few months to get over my ex.

After I got married, she slowly started being controlling. I couldn’t become a cop or join the military. I couldn’t become a fireman because it was too dangerous. She started to control what we could watch and listen too. I went along with it because I didn’t want to fight and it soon got overwhelming.

I couldn’t watch South Park, Game of thrones, most rated R movies and she would even try and control the video games I would play as well. It was like I was fifteen again. I was offered a job to work as an apprentice to a funeral director but she made me decline the job because she wouldn’t sleep with me ever again and the other reason is that the job was right next to a strip club and she was scared that I would go over there a lot and either spend all my money or fall in love with a stripper.

I ended up getting a divorce after she cheated on me while I was in New Orleans working sixty hour weeks to make money so me and her could move to a new place and a new state. We ended up having two kids and even though they are beautiful and great kids, it wasn’t necessarily planned.

Life goes on and even though she broke my heart and constantly ruined every good job opportunity I had when I was with her, I can’t stop thinking about her and wishing I did more to fix things and make it work.