All The Selves I Would Share

*Author’s Note*

The grammatical errors in this piece of writing are intentional, it reflects the speed at which thoughts whip through my mind especially when my thyroid levels are too high and I’m in a state of being hyperthyroid. It flows better if read out loud.

- Imaan

[Part 1] MY PASSION OF A FASHION

I don’t know where to begin

but the hardest part is to start

I often don’t let these types of words

pass the portcullis of my heart

Sometimes they’ll slip and slither

Through the moat

they find a way

Fragments of my fortress

sunbathe in the light of day

You see the loves of my life

are here etched across the page

A hypnotic hennatattoo of terms

swirlingtwirlingSultry on the stage

My passion of a fashion

the glittering gold behind closed vault

Is that I sip and savour language

I write & rhyme to a fault

I’ve always wondered where it came from

this compulsion to compose

Racked my mind for the answer

found truth painting-her-nails upon my nose

If my mind wanders out of line

it stumbles into a writhing

chaotic

mess

So yes the rhymes are a nervous tick

but a crutch creative none the less

In that chaos

the order are out of dates

where usually order is my game

The things I think I thought I think

change like the flicker of a flame

So now poetry of pattern

forms the structure of my soul

And if I lost it I would lose it

Vagabond upon the road

Sometimes the connections are short & sweet

others last forever long

And now you’ve got me going

jammed the needle on this

song-song-song-song-song

I’ve never really had the strength

to share the madmadness of my mind

with more than just mymymy few people

who’s hearts I know I know are kind

But Today I’m feeling brave

Hell Today I’m feeling bold

So herenow before feeling flitsflits far away

I’ll jump before my feet get cold

Let me give you just a taste

(just a taste of what you’d touch)

And if your tongue licks your lips

you’ll know you like a littlelotstoomuch

Maybe I’ll let you lingerlonger

Stay awhile skinny dip

Maybe I’ll find for you an in

Regular return membership

The tale I’m about to tell

iss a secret of survival

This tale it tells how several selves

avoid CPR revival

So shuck your shades slip off shoes

No secrets on this side of the line

You’ve passed the point of no return

Mind your manners

...in My Mind

[Part 2] A TASTE OF WHAT YOU’D TOUCH

Now This start makes sense

With introductions we’ll begin

With the pillars of my peace

the cardinalkey characters within

There are nine in total

yet they are one and all the same

But I like to think of them as separate

it helps my selves keep sense inside my brain

There’s a darkness in my heart

She growls a grin as She claims space

Such a starkness of one part

sometimes She seems so out of place

She is bold unabashed

She is lazy laissez faire

She is brutalbeauty strip-it honest

She is coldtruthcunning laying bare

Now if she opened up one eye

& stared slyly out of bed

She’d be blinded by-peacepatience goodness

glowing softly straight ahead

That other She - She is a sister

not sistertwin but sisterclone

She is other - opposites attract

Another slice of one entire whole

She is slowsultry soft and sure

She is glimmeringgraceful gratitude

She is generous light and -oh-so-gentle

the calm contrast to our every other mood

Now if She turned to Her one o’clock

Smiling kindly - seeing Red

Face to face with another sisterclone sistermirror

dressed in scarlet toe to head

This She is angerpassion powerpride

She lounges lavishly through strife

She is ride or die for hers & hers alone

If yours then she’s yoursonly - yours for life

Now when Red rotates on an angle

she puts in her line of sight

a softer tint of her saturation

pretty Pink princess of twinkling light

This She is glittering era Gatsby

Haute Couture - Chanel Fall ’84

She is rosy innocence, doe-eyed dreamy

if you’re-a-bird-I’m-a-bird romance galore

She blows a kiss across the circle

A kiss caught quickly with finesse

Athleticactive actionOrange

never miss a shot - protects the net

She is tomboy in her trainers

Princess Diana power walk

A hyperactive energizer bunny

she’ll try every sport as fast as she speed talks

She’ll be bouncing on her toes

and bump into our next She

But Yellow is so mellow

She won’t mind won’t get angry

She is dirt under painted nails

She is sunshine incarnate

The joy in small miracles

swimming naked in and out of fate

She’s a smile that lasts a mile

She’s a barefoot summer in a song

She’s a creek meandering through snow-peaked mountains

She’s twirling flowercrowned hair growndowntoherhips long

Her eyes gleam as she giggles

shared secrets holding hands

On her right keptclose alwaystogether

Green is almost as obsessed with the land

You see if Black and White are opposite

Green Yellow vibes are similarsame

they have of course their differences

to be fair it’s more than just their names

Green wears glasses

large oldgold - her signaturekey look

Curls cropped close simplestraightforward

nose forever in a book

She is numbers, names, nouns

She is logic, reason, places, things

She has a hunger for more wonders

than libraries could ever hold within

Green pauses perusal for a second

pushes slipping glasses up

Eyes wide with suddenshy awareness

Blue watches through tearyeyed hiccups

Ah Blue - Blue is a Mood

In truth She’s all the moods at once

She will brood Oh She will brood

and break down at least three times a month

She is feelingfeelingFeelings

She is sensory overload

She is empathyoverwhelming

Built strong to walk an emotionally-charged road

Few of the others can handle

the highs and lows of Blue

To her left is her main and most often

Her forever voulez-vouz

The most precious left for last

We guard Her like She's made of gold

She’s the artiste behind closed curtains

the Purple powerhouse behind the prose

She is tangentialthinking flightofideas

loose associations racing thoughts

She is chaos corporeal

creating beauty where there was not

With these seven other selves

We form a circle set for nine

You see usually I walk around

With at least one awake behind each eye

If you and I met you’d never know

never guess this room was there

Not an inkling

of the tinkering I have going on upstairs.

Now

Perhaps this sounds familiar

perhaps perchance you livefeel it too

Maybe the shelves full of my selves

sound akin to your many yous

Maybe this secret that I harbour

my need to openly self-compartmentalizeanalyze

Is the beginning of a safe arbor

Where similar flowers could one day climbreside

[Part 3] REGULAR RETURN MEMBERSHIP

Say one day I took a chance

opened the iron gates

around my mind

Allowed the masses - for a rate

to walk pathways I fiercely hide

How would that work exactly

Who would come - Who would stay

Would they maybe make a mockery

Rolled eyes - walk away

People don’t merely come to see

They tend to touchtaketinkertamper

I fear

The second they feel so threatened

My words will sniffscurry and scamper

So House rules would be laid out

By them all would have-to abide

For the sanity of my sake

To protect the precarious-peace of my mind

I would bare my soul

in exchange

for access to your heart

You would lend your love

a trade

for dancing with your darkest dark

We could even take it further

if others like to speakshareScribble too

Once a month come together

spoken words out-loud on Zoom

We would write about our fears

We would rave about our fates

We would face innerouter battles

stroll our skeletons past our mental gates

We would seek out other speakers

listenlearn learn to enhance

We would all in-turn be teachers

it takes a village to advance

It would be a space of shared healing

a healing shared space of mind

It would be supportgroupcircle-screamingfanbase

welcoming eachevery-oneofakind

At first some might find it sad

At first some might find us tragic

But we would speak of the good as well as bad

and words are our greatest source of healing magic

I dream of a mutualistic transaction

An accord that wouldshouldcould unfurl

A trade of mutual passion

connecting soulchords throughout the world

So yes, I passionately play with words

Bc word patterns keep me sane are my game

We may not speak the same English

But will we listen to each other

…any way?