A Letter to Happiness

Dear Happiness,

I hope wherever you are you are making people bloom. Cause that's what you did, you were an expert at making people feel giddy. Often at times, when misery surrounds me i think about you desperately. I look for you in past happy encounters with you written in my journal. Don't you worry, i have jotted down all our memories, I haven't forgotten a thing, and how can i? You were so nice to me. We were getting along so good. I would often see you around while riding my bicycle, or humming with birds, or while talking with plants while watering them. Don't you remember our little ice-cream dates? Or the time when i texted to my long lost school friend because you insisted? What i admired most was long walks taken with you. You would push me to smile like a joker while walking. Would force me to admire trees around , notice tiny flowers growing in bushes, few youngsters riding their bikes and showing off, you would often mock at them. All i didn't know what massive and important lessons you were tryna teach me.

I used to play and sing for you. I almost mastered to play all my favorite songs as a dedication to you for making me feel so special all this time. I have written about you in all my pages. Not even a single event is missed. We would play hide and seek with my cousins, and on being found you were naively happy. I have often noticed you standing by my side , applauding when i performed any dance on stage or did anchoring back in school. You were the first one to compliment me whenever i dressed up gorgeously, and yes the first to get upset whenever i didn't feel too good. But seeing me so you would tell my mum everything and ask her to help me, when you yourself couldn't. But you always made sure i felt satisfied. You always looked after me.

I remember the time when i were sick bad cause of jaundice, you invited all my cousins , and made me feel alive again. You encouraged me to learn all new skills. AND AND AND our ride to highway. We went to have little fun on those swings and you laughed so damn hard on me when i were swinging so high, calling me a little child. How loud both of us were shouting and singing along with my sister. I have noticed you fancied her. Whenever she visited, you would often stop by to say hello, or hang out with us. Not only with her, but with my whole family, always pleasing to my mom, brother, yes with papa you were little distant. But what wrong i did to you that you got distant from me as well..?

WHY? This word hasn't left my head since you left. Where it all went wrong? We were best of pals. And all of a sudden -BOOM- nothing! It's been more than two years and i haven't moved on from you , i still got this tini tiny hope that you would come back to me and stay with me forever. For all i know is i did nothing wrong- not to you. Then why this distance? I have had enough penance. I have looked for you everywhere in our long walks, i tried to sing for you, played different musical tunes for you, i went on bike rides, on swing i went as high as it could take me , may be it would take me to you. Now you don't even come to see my sister. Not even to my mom. She is even sadder than me. She misses you, misses her happy days filled with our mischiefs. She too loved you dearly like i did. I even asked about you from the friend you forced me to text. She too was speechless. I tried multiple fashion trends to impress you. I saw the birds chirping, hummed to their songs. I even rode miles on bicycle while looking for you, but you were nowhere to be found.

But i feel like giving up, i don't dress up anymore, i don't feel like going on long walks, swings seem boring to me. Bicycles childish. Highway bike rides- dangerous. My plants don't bloom anymore. Mum doesn't smile much. Singing seems tedious . But when i were degrading i found you unexpectedly while writing a poem, while dancing to my fav beats recklessly, while looking after my mum myself, while working on myself for a better version. And yes that was the moment i realized you never really left, you got transferred as i stepped from childhood into adulthood, as my priorities changed, you shifted near them so that you can to still look after me. Am sorry i spent so much time waiting and looking, instead i should have just accepted , maybe acceptance was what you wanted me to learn, and as soon as i did, you were there again at my doorstep, and this time i know even if i loose you again, i know my way back to find you. I won't be helpless this time

I have found you again through my writing and in Taylor swift's songs and this time i won't loose you. I won't ever stop writing. Cause you my happiness resides here. This is where you got transferred. This is your new HOME.