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A fleet of passing ships

a shop of sliding doors

By ASHLEY SMITHPublished about a year ago 3 min read
a ship with your name on?

I think I am supposed to be writing about a specific moment in time, my passing ship is more of a fleet. Its hard to choose one moment as so many things happened by luck or coincidence that any moment could count. Basically 10 years ago I was single and starting a new job, now I am sitting by my wife of ten months.

After a few months in the job I was waiting to see which end of the building I was going to work that day. It was a dementia care home with each floor split in two. We also had new staff starting that day, one was allocated each end so they could work with experienced staff.

I got on well with the lady allocated to my end, she had done the job before so was easy to teach about the residents we had. So well we ended up in an 18 month relationship, with me moving in with her. Things were great at first but problems begun at work. As we were a couple we couldn't work in the same area so got split up.

Unfortunately the senior staff where she most often worked bullied her and took advantage. We complained but nothing happened so we both decided to find new jobs and then quit. We were sitting on lap tops in our lounge looking for work and started commenting on ones we had found.

Somehow we had both decided to apply for the same people. The company rang me first and asked if I knew anyone else that might be intrested, I mentioned my partner. We got interviewd on the same day and both got the job. The new company had 2 buildings, so we were placed in separate homes.

In my building were the more challenging dementia patients, while she had the more nursing based residents. In my side the staff were all female, aged from 19 on up. The younger ones were quiet and the more experienced ones were more chatty.

Over times the younger ones became more used to my presence and became more open. The relationship with my partner next door was struggling somewhat and the relationship with a certain younger staff member improved. To the point as one relationship broke badly this new one improved massively.

We were soon living together and now 7 years later we are married. A lot of lucky coincidences and a lifes too short mentality got us here. My wife is a lot younger then me but to us is no problem. It was to a few people first but we were of the mind set that we wanted to try so we did. A touch of bloody mindedness as well possibly.

I had decided I wasn't going to stop a blossoming relationship due to age difference, I wanted to try and see what happened. My grandfather and his father died before reaching fifty. I wasn't going to waste time in case I was running short of time.

If the various things hadn't happened in the order they did or the manner they did the end would have been very different. If I had been paired differently that relationship wouldnt have happened. If she hadnt then been bullied we wouldnt have left. If we had been put in the two houses the other way round then the new relationship wouldn't have happened.

Sometimes its could to risk a little, accept fate and grab at random chances. I had a very nasty first marriage. Asked if I could I go back and change it, would I? The reason I probably wouldnt is everything that happened has led me to this point. If my children had been born to someone else they might not have been disabled. Their disabilities started me on working with people with additional needs. This in turn led to the care home where this story started.

So keep your eyes open for any passing ships, they might have your name on them. They might lead you on a wonderful adventure.


About the Creator


England based carer, live with my wife, her parents and 4 cats. will write for all areas but especially mental health and disability. though as stuff for filthy seems popular will try there . any comments, suggestions or requests considered

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