A failed Thanksgivings

November 20th, 2018

I'm 39 weeks into my pregnancy, and the baby is coming any moment now, but my mother-in-law had the brilliant idea to make me angry, offend me and called me a pig. So my huge ego decided that the best solution was to go to New York and spend the holidays with my aunts.

"You'll see"- I told the UBER driver that is taking me to the other side of the river- "My soon-to-be husband (or not, I don't know at this point) decided that he wasn't sure if he wanted to marry me or not; after he got me pregnant and had the wonderful idea of us moving with his mom, his sister, his nephew, and his grandmother on a one bedroom apartment in NJ" -I took a pause, to breath in exasperation -"Without me knowing any of them, I just have seen his mom ones before.... yes I know what you might be thinking "Why did you agree?"- He only nodded -"Well it sounded like a great idea when he asked me to".

I keep telling my story to Rashad, I don't think he can fully understand me, I have a heavy accent (so does he) and I am speaking way too fast changing from English to Spanish, just willing to let out my frustrations.

This was going to be our first Thanksgiving together, my baby is due any day now, and he didn't stand in front of his mom to defend me, he is not even here with me. I'm angry and I'm sad and beyond that, I'm super pregnant, and not excited to spend Thanksgiving with my aunt.

My aunt is cool, she is super chill and I love her, but I'm pregnant and sensible and want to be surrounded by people who I know and trust and my aunt tends to be surrounded by her friends. Friends she made in NY that I know nothing about. She was kind enough to let me stay with her under my current circumstances, she could have said no, right?!

November 21th, 2018

-"I want a turkey, a big fat turkey, so I can cook it for you and your friends"- I said to my aunt while in the supermarket buying the missing ingredients for our Thanksgiving dinner.

-"Well honey"-She said scratching the back of her neck -"The thing is, turkeys take a long time to defrost and season, plus I already have the menu for this year".

Oh no god, please no, what is Thanksgiving without turkey? I'm starting to panic and the baby is kicking. Chill, I'm talking to myself. I want my Thanksgiving to be way better than my no so husband and his family, I flew to their house cause they mistreated me, and I cannot afford to have awful Thanksgiving. I try to convince my aunt about the turkey but it is a losing battle for me.

-"We are having RABO ENCENDIO"- She said, sounding as Dominican as she can, and I lost whatever hope I had.

Rabo encendio is a traditional Dominican ditch made with the tail of a bull, with a lot of seasoning and super spicy (meaning I cannot eat it cause I am pregnant) besides that it looks awful, like mud, it is brown and smell so strong like meat that I almost threw up thinking about it.

November 22th, 2018

Today is Thanksgiving and I am not feeling it, I am going to spend it away from my family, fully cranky, angry at my "Not so husband", super pregnant, and with no turkey.

I try to focus on the positive, which is hard cause my aunts' apartment only has one room and it is crowded with people, helping with the food, woman dressing, and doing their makeup. The room is a perfume inferno, and my nausea and patience are uncontrollable.

It is dinner time and I am beyond exhausted, the Rabo is smelling and the place is crowded. So crowded that people are sitting in the hallway outside.

Everyone has given thanks and now is my turn, I'm sweating, I cannot think about anything to be thankful for, and I'm on the verge of tears.... "oh NO! oh NO!"- I think to myself and right then and there, among strangers and nasty food, among a chaos of perfume and music and tension, my water broke, I just manage to say -"Shit!"-.