A DRUG ADDICT IN LOVE

It's been so long since I've seen you. I miss your smile and the way your hair looked when it was wet from the rain. You were never one to let me down, but now I feel like this is my fault.

I don't think he ever wanted our relationship to be anything more than just a friend-person thing, but we got too close and then even closer after that night we had together. It wasn't something we planned or talked about beforehand; it just happened and somehow made things alright again for a little while longer. And before either of us knew what was happening, we moved in together - not as platonic friends this time around - with no intention of going back to being free from each other ever again.

That was also the time where she started changing on me. She said it was just because of her job and then later that it was something about an ex-boyfriend, but I knew deep down that she wasn't telling me everything. It got to the point where we'd be having a perfectly normal conversation and suddenly she would stop short or fade away mid-sentence like some kind of déjà vu mixed with memory lapse. Her eyes had this glazed over look in them for some time too, as if staring off into space even though nothing was there at all. And day after day, I could swear her skin looked thinner around the edges like paper almost ready to curl up at any minute's notice. I thought that maybe it was all just in my head or part of some dream I used to have, but eventually all the little things added up and soon were too much for me to ignore.

So I decided to do something about it. It wasn't easy at first, trying to find someone who could even remotely take on such a task; an exorcist or priest or whatever you want to call them. But I did manage after countless hours of research and calling around and finally found someone seriously interested in helping her - help us both really - get rid of this problem once and for all. She's due any day now and we should know soon if our plan worked or not. The neighbor said he went down there last night and everything seemed fine, but I don't think even a seasoned carpenter would be able to tell me the truth if he thought it could make a difference in his bank account.

The thing is though, even if it works and she's back to normal again, I don't think we'll ever go back to normal like before. The memory of her almost feels like something out of an old television set; fuzzy sometimes with no sound while other times clear as day with everything in-between. The images themselves are also warped or overlapping or - well, you get the idea by now. And this time around when she looks at me all I can think about is how long will it take for her face to breaking up right before my eyes.

And then finally just fade away to nothingness.

"This is your last chance - do you want to go through with it?" she asked me as she stood in front of me back at the old house, her features looking so much older than I remembered them being only a few seconds ago. "I have no idea what kind of mess or trouble you've gotten yourself into, but if you're scared enough to come to me for help then there's something seriously wrong here." She coughed once before continuing. "You said that last night was months ago? How could I not remember that? You are an idiot sometimes..."

I felt my mouth go dry and heard myself swallow painfully loud, air passing between