Win Win Bang Bang

At half-time Tottenham were 2-0 up. In the second half the team from Manchester scored a hat-ful. The commentators for my coverage took a moment to discuss what Pep Guardiola could possibly have said during the break to inspire such a comeback, but as a Spurs fan, I think I know. A certain legend of the red side of their city found the magic words eons ago. Words that, until tonight, might have struck a familiar sense of foreboding for this Manchester City team.

Watching Tottenham play football against Manchester City, for me, has been like re-watching old episodes of Mr. Bean. The stuff I grew up on. Episodes where the destructive and foolish protagonist ends the show in a state of both mental and physical devastation. That or one of the few installments where Bean's dangerous and ill-conceived scheme actually, against all logic and justice, gets him his way. They play the beautiful football (or used to) and we shamble our way to any and every result we can. Often our defence-orientated brand of football is the antithesis of everything Guardiola has spent his career building, but its also something that has seen the three points raining down on Spurs against his very Manchester City side. A draw was never on the cards.

How Harry Kane and co found themselves taking a 2-goal lead into the half-time break should be as beyond them as it was beyond the rest of us watching. Our goals came, as they always do against City, wildly and whiplashingly against the run of play. The Citizens have had their fair share of bad moments against us the last few years, but shipping two goals in two minutes, staring down the barrel of a potential 11-point deficit at the top of the table and being booed off the pitch at the Etihad was a new low. The Champions League last-minute VAR review was a heart-breaker, this was just sad.

Especially to this Spurs. A Spurs team that just got battered in the North London derby on their own turf. A Spurs team adrift in fifth and looking down in fear rather than upwards in hope. A Spurs whose fan-base don't know who trust at the top, whether the board should go or the gaffer and one that is as disconnected from the squad as it has been in recent memory.

Kulusevski continues to be a source of light in the abounding darkness. Even if he were in truth one of the weaker players on the night, he was there for the goal and this is a sport defined by moments. Emerson Royal added the second, capitalising off a shell-shook defence and in particular a flailing Ederson, who might not be to blame for Royal's opportunism, but was undoubtedly responsible for his side going behind in the first place just minutes earlier with a textbook hospital ball into a packed 18 yard box.

Brace yourselves - Royal was one of the best on the pitch, which will make his inevitable upcoming disasterclass all the more frustrating. He held down the right flank well, was the best of an error-prone bunch at the back and, without being a revisionist, was a key player in Tottenham's run to the Champions League last season. Though, reality remains persistent to those with eyes to see it. We're allowed to praise players who aren't consistent just as much as we're allowed to criticise those with credit in the bank. Royal isn't the worst player, but we must do better and can do better and by that metric alone we should act. If there's a deal to be done, Tottenham please, get it done now and tick off a chore needing to be done in the Summer early.

In the second half, the party in the away end was silenced as promptly as it had been ignited. 6 minutes in and City were already level. The outcome of the match from that point on was totally unavoidable and the goal giving City their first lead on the night was only another ten minutes away. Lloris' decisions are like that of our Chairman's; either lacking in bravery or lacking in temperance. Always too much or too little on the wrong occasions. Dier, Davies and Perisic all took turns hoofing simple cross-field passes straight into the audience. Romero picked up a booking early on - the consequence of charging into ankles like an unleashed guard-dog against a team stacked with quality players boasting pressure-resistant technical ability.

Lenglet came on to the pitch for the final 15 minutes just to drop the biggest stinker of the night, letting a goalkeeper's kick long comedically slap him on the thighs on the way through to Riyad Mahrez, who killed the game with a lob over Lloris for four. Though not abundantly made clear by this match in isolation, substitutions in the midfield are an uncomfortable compromise between fitness and competency. Whomever's number among Bentancur and Hojbjerg is raised by the fourth official and regardless of who takes to the pitch to replace them, be it Bissouma or either of the two youngsters, by making any change to the obvious formula the midfield is immeasurably weakened.

Son continues to struggle. Kane drops deep and sees nothing to aim at until he waits a second or two longer and the ball seems destined to find an ineffective wing-back hoping Kulusevski will make a move. But Deki isn't known for his pace, more for his trickery and precociousness. With every passing week I am yearning more and more to see Kane supporting the midfield and Richarlison leading the attack. There are whispers of signings and reinforcements on their way. They're needed desperately in practically every position.

But we can't feel too defeated. A fixture against City just doesn't move me like other Premier League ties and I have more invested in the Monday night trip to Craven Cottage than I did tonight. No matter their form, no matter how many times we trash their temple and smear paint over their artwork, a trip to Pep Guardiola's Manchester City can never be an assumed success. I anticipated defeat, but my expectations were reasonably exceeded. No one can tell me that was worse than last Sunday.

Besides, depending on how some of you are looking at the picture at the top, this loss might have more of a hint of victory about it anyway. Not for me personally, but there's some vague form of a silver-lining for the depressive fans who either want Levy to go, Conte to go, or Manchester City to win the title at all cost.

Well, there's your three points reigning champions Manchester City, use them wisely. Now for the big one against Fulham.