Old dudes playing Soccer

I was in a great mood yesterday. It's truly amazing how one game of old dudes football can elevate my spirits and make life seem worth living again. After the grinding tedium of nine to five slaving for the man, the monotony of family life and the material prisons we find ourselves in, football on Saturday is a release, it's therapeutic, it’s the ultimate meditation for the modern human. And it feels good when we win! I found myself uncontrollably fist pumping next to the cans of baked beans at Countdown. Randomly roaring out “YEEESSSS” to myself as I inspected the free-range chickens, doing stepovers with a potato down the fruit & vege aisle and terrifying the other shoppers who had no idea what was making this deranged old dude so happy on a Sunday morning. Then I roamed the streets of Grey Lynn with a maniacal grin on my face looking for strangers to hug.

Yes, that was a satisfying win against the Legends. The number one pitch at Riverhills was dry and sandy with little green tufts like a teenager learning to shave. The sun was beating down and Go Feet were soon feeling the atmospheric pressure of a claustrophobic Legends high press. We didn’t cope very well, conceding an early goal with a stray back pass but it was all part of master strategist and father of the team Shaun Perry’s plan. He took two mental steps before the back pass, his steps were mental, but it turns out he was two mental steps ahead of the opposition for the entire game and mentally two steps ahead of his own team! Too mental! Legends getting an early goal was all part of his cunning plan. Seducing them into a false sense of security. They thought it was a done deal, they thought they had it all wrapped up. Then three rapier sharp attacking incisions later, and all of sudden they are 3-1 down. All it took was some quality Go Feet possession and we tore them to shreds. Stefan accurately slotting the first across the keeper into the side netting after good work down the right. Joe with a thunderous header from a Dazza corner then Stefan again after good work down the left. Legends, who had been over-confident and overly complacent were now shell-shocked by the onslaught. After the first dodgy ten minutes Go Feet raised their game in all facets. We had the momentum. Accurate passing, quick one-twos and most importantly we won the physical battle. We were up for the fight. Attitude was everything and Go Feet just grew stronger as the Legends morale crumbled under relentless pressure.

We expected the Legends to come out strong in the second half, and they tried but they couldn’t get the ball. We needed the fourth goal to really make it comfortable and Howie obliged with a smashing left foot from the edge of the box. Then Joe added another by lobbing the keeper from distance. 5-1 was a comprehensive victory and a big step towards the over 35's title. Everyone had a big game. Everyone was tested and everyone deserves a mention by name. If I had to choose a Man of the Match, I would go for Joe who relished the shadow striker role, but the front 3 all were outstanding. DB and Ged bossed the midfield, the defenders were composed and uncompromisingly solid, and Dad, who once fancied himself as a striker has now established himself as first choice centre back. The beers tasted sweet in the changing rooms after the game as we flushed away the Legends hopes and dreams along with their hot water supply.