SingleMomChronicles

I am now going into the later part of my twenties. I have a little girl that I have been raising alone. Her father blamed me for the dissolution of our relationship. It had nothing to do with his excessive drinking. It had nothing to do with his infidelity. It had nothing to do with him staying out all night or sometimes being gone for days at a time. I was supposed to just stick it out and let him get it all out of his system and wait for him to be ready to settle down. I'm sure he would've settled down eventually, right? Seriously, what in the world? Who the heck is doing that?

STORYTIME: The Break-Up

"I'm tired. I don't want to do this anymore", I said.

"I'mma do better. I got a daughter now.", he responded.

Winston (my baby dad) would go outside every day and would either come home in early hours of the morning or after the sun had already come up. I was unhappy. I was tired of crying. I was tired of being alone in my relationship. I decided that before I walked away for the last time, I would lay everything on the table and tell him exactly how I felt. I would then give him a chance to make changes. We hadn't been much of a couple for a while. We had been sleeping apart for a year at this point. He ends up going outside to hang out as usual. He left home at about 6pm. He came back through the door at like 11pm. I was pleasantly surprised.

"He actually heard me!" I thought as I watched him come into the house. I smiled. I was terribly wrong though. He had only come home to take my money out of the money jar I had in our bedroom. It was coming up on our five-year anniversary. I had been planning a weekend getaway for us. I booked a stay at the Pocono resorts. My older readers know what I'm talking about. The Poconos was the SPOT for couples back in the day. My parents had their honeymoon there. I had to put down a deposit of $100. I had already paid that. I started a jar to put the balance and spending money in. This was the last straw. I lost my deposit. I would not be putting any more money on the vacation. I did not want to vacation with him anymore. I no longer wanted to do ANYTHING with him anymore. I was done and ready to go.

He stumbled in drunk as a fish, again, at like 7am. Yes, he came back home at 7am after leaving the second time at 11pm. The sun was already very high in the sky. I made sure to be right there when he opened the door.

"This is done!" I yelled.

He shoved me into the counter. I got up and punched him in the stomach. Winston had a routine. His movement were predictable now: go out and get drunk, come home, pass out on the couch, repeat. I decide to act now. The house, the car and all the utilities were in my name. He had no mail coming to my house even though we had been living together over two years at this point. That was his choice, not mine. While he was passed out, I went into his pocket and took my house key off of key ring. This way, once he left, he couldn't come back. I then grabbed my baby, and we went to my parents' house. Remember, our parents live on the same block. When I saw him outside around our parents block, it was time for phase two. I asked my mom to keep the baby.

"Ma, I be right back." was all I said then ran out the front door.

I went back to the house and packed up his stuff. I put all his shoes, clothes, and other misc. belongings into big, lawn sized trash bags. He had also paid for one of our two flat screen televisions, so I grabbed that too. I loaded it all up in my little car and dropped it off on him mom's porch.

Winston didn't take the breakup well. Cue several years of turmoil and toxicity. In our situation, in my opinion, he was the bitter baby mama, and I was the laid back baby dad just trying to move on and co-parent effectively for the sake of our child.