Love and Fear

Chapter 4 is linked here.

Chapter 5: Love and Fear

Maryanne became the youngest managing editor in Toronto, maybe even Canada, three months after signing the contract. It took another three months to set up the office and hire the right people before opening the doors to "Andrea Kelly Publishing House," which started full operation the week before Maryanne's twenty-fourth birthday.

Andrea, pleased with how Maryanne had pulled it all together over the last few months, planned a celebration for the Friday after they opened. It would be Canada day, and as Maryanne's birthday was the next day, July 02, she couldn't think of a better way to celebrate.

Andrea's close friend owned a medium-sized restaurant pub on the shores of Lake Ontario and agreed to close the rooftop patio, to the public, for the party. The pub's three levels included the rooftop patio, the second-floor restaurant and "The Pool Cue Sports Bar" on the lower level.

The place had a simple name, "The Pub on the Lake," and had become Maryanne's favourite place to relax with friends, after Patrick introduced it to her several months before.

She’d spent many fun evenings there with her start-up team over the last months but hoped that Patrick would not be there for the celebration as he wasn't part of the group, and she didn't feel comfortable around him lately.

As Mai-Ling didn't have plans for Canada Day, Maryanne asked her to come to the party.

Sitting in the living room enjoying an after-dinner drink, Maryanne said, "Please come with me. We don't have to worry about anything. Andrea is supplying car service for the night, so we can enjoy the fireworks and have a few drinks with no worries." Looking at Mai-Ling with her lips pouty and her hand on her heart, she continued, "Plus, if we stay till midnight, my best friend can sing happy birthday to me."

Mai-Ling smiled at her little girl charms and looked towards the kitchen, where her mother was cleaning up after dinner.

"I would love to go, but I'm worried about mom."

Maryanne knew Mai-Ling's father had called several days before and said some things that had cut Aili deeply.

"I’ll ask her to join us. It’ll be good for her to get out and have some fun."

Mai-Ling agreed, but when they asked her mom, Aili looked away from them and stammered,

“Oh, I’m sorry. I already have plans to have dinner with friends. It’s just some friends, nothing special, maybe some wine and talk.”

Standing with her back to the girls and wiping down the already clean kitchen counter Aili continued, "Don't worry about me girls; I'm fine. I'm looking forward to a night out with friends."

The girls told her that they were happy she was getting out with friends, and Mai-Ling hugged her mother and said, "I love you, mom."

Maryanne watched as Mai-Ling hugged her mother, thinking, “Something isn’t right. Why is Aili lying?”

***

Aili spoke with her husband only once in the six months following the hurtful phone conversation. He called early in the morning two months after he left, and told her that he wouldn't be returning for a long time. His father's health was failing and expected Fan to take over his business for now. Fan told her that he wanted Aili and Mai Ling to come to China for the month of August, to visit with the family. Aili said, "That's not possible, Fan, Mai-Ling has to prepare for her students starting school in September."

He said, "I don't care about that, her grandfather is dying, and I expect both of you here in the first week of August."

She protested, "How can you not care about what is good for your daughter?"

"What is good for my daughter is what I say is good for her; this is not a request; I am telling you to be here the first week of August. If you are not here, it will show what I already know, your complete lack of respect for this family." "I am warning you, do not test me further," he said, hanging up the phone.

Aili never told her daughter about the phone call, as she knew Mai-Ling was already upset with him, and this would make her resent her father more.

Aili couldn't understand the change in her husband over the last few years. She had never questioned his love for her or her love for him up until he returned to China before their daughter started university.

Now it seemed their relationship was based on fear and anger. Aili's fear of his growing anger towards her, and his fear of standing up to his family had torn them apart.

She spent a lot of time at the YMCA that summer, as the exercising and companionship of her new friends, kept the painful thoughts of her marriage from overwhelming her. She became a good swimmer after taking some beginner classes and practicing every day. Aili started feeling good about her appearance again, as she settled into a routine of swimming laps for an hour each day, before joining her friends for the water aerobics class.

She would see John a few times a week, as his work schedule would allow, and became good friends. Whenever the group had to split into pairs for some exercise routine, they would always choose each other.

John, being a good man, never asked about her personnel life or been inappropriate with her in any way and she felt safe with him.

So it surprised her when, on the weekend before the Canada day weekend, he asked if she would like to join him for dinner on Canada Day. She didn't know what to say at first and struggled to find words as she looked at him. She thought about her failing marriage and the fear she felt about her husband's anger.

But she felt something rise in her, when John asked her out, which had been missing for a long time.

Fan had been the first and only man who had shown any interest in her life, and she sensed that other men avoided her once they knew who he was. She had gradually become accustomed to feeling undesirable as a woman, and more of an object than a wife.

Seeing her struggling to answer, John thought he had crossed a line and started to apologize, "Sorry, Aili, maybe I'm being inappropriate; I haven't done anything like this in a long time."

She replied, "Sorry, John, you caught me by surprise as I didn't think you liked me like that."

He looked at her for a little while before saying, "Of course I like you like that Aili, I would be a fool not to. I've been trying to get the courage to ask you out for weeks."

She felt her face blush as he spoke, "Why me John, why are you interested in me, when most men I meet here don't hold a conservation with me any longer than a few words."

John understanding now, that she didn't know how beautiful she was said, "That's because most men, including me, feel inadequate when trying to speak with a beautiful woman."

She felt something change inside her when he called her a beautiful woman and smiled as she said, "Thank you, John, and yes, I would like to have dinner with you."

The morning before her dinner date with John, as Aili tried on dress after dress in her bedroom; Mai-Ling walked in and asked her if she needed help.

Aili lied to her daughter, saying she would be meeting her friends at a fancy restaurant and wanted to look her best.

She hated lying to Mai-Ling but couldn't tell her that she was going on a dinner date with a man.

Aili hadn't dressed for a date since she was a young woman, so agreed to let Mai-Ling and Maryanne help her pick the perfect outfit. They spent the next two hours making Aili look like the beautiful woman she had forgotten and not seen in a very long time. They settled on a knee-length red dress, with speckles of white along the creases in honour of Canada Day, and high-heel open-toe shoes that hadn't been worn in years. The girls had a lot of fun fixing Aili's hair and make-up, which she enjoyed immensely, before letting her look in the full-length mirror.

Aili, surprised and delighted at the beautiful woman looking back at her from the mirror, said, "Oh my, is that really me," as she touched her face and hair and looked at the girls with happy gratitude in her eyes.

Mai-Ling and Maryanne told her how beautiful she looked as they came and fiddled with her dress, making it fall just right, with Maryanne saying, "Yes that is you, Aili. The real you, that’s been waiting to come out. You’re more than a wife and mother. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out.”

Aili hugged her tight and said, “ Thank you so much,” then pulled Mai-Ling in for a group hug, “ Thank you both so much. You’ve made me feel like a young woman again. I love you both.”

John and Aili agreed to meet at the restaurant at 7 p.m., and at a few minutes before seven, Aili pulled into the parking lot. As she exited the car, she could see John standing at the front entrance dressed in an impeccably fitted suit. He noticed her as she walked towards him and came to greet her with a broad smile on his face.

He spoke as she got close to him, "Wow, you look spectacular."

She replied, looking him up and down, "Thank you, so do you."

He complimented her on the dress she was wearing, and she asked, "It's not too much, is it?"

He laughed and said, "No, not for me, it's not, but I do believe there will be many envious women here tonight."

She smiled from her heart, and feeling desirable and beautiful again, took his hand, and walked into the restaurant.

They spent a wonderful evening together, eating good food and enjoying each other's company. They talked non-stop for the three hours they were there, never searching for something to say. She felt that John listened to and cared about everything she said. He made her feel that she was interesting and that her opinions on the many subjects they discussed were valid and important.

When they left the restaurant shortly after 10 p.m., Aili feeling good about the date and herself, turned to John, and thanked him for a wonderful evening. John thanked her for gracing him with her presence and beauty before hugging her lightly, taking her hand, and kissing it.

He said, "I hope I can see you again soon."

She laughed and said, "I will see you Sunday at the pool," as they separated and walked to their cars.

She felt happier than she had felt in a long time, as she got in her car and started to drive home. As she pulled from her parking spot, she noticed an Asian man sitting in a black vehicle talking on a cell phone, but didn't think much of it.

She stopped at the local Asian market on the way home to get some fresh vegetables' for the next day, and while walking back to her car, her cell phone started to ring. By the time she retrieved the phone from her bag, it had stopped ringing. She looked at the display and could see that the call came from China, and thought, “I don't want to talk to you now,” before putting the phone back in her bag.

When she arrived home, a black car was parked on the street across from her house; it looked like the same car she had seen at the restaurant, which made her nervous. She parked her car as close as she could to the house and quickly walked to the door, unlocked it, and rushed inside to lock it behind her.

Leaving the lights turned off, she walked to the living room window and watched through the blinds as the car slowly pulled away and drove down the street to the corner. She waited until the car disappeared around the corner before relaxing and admonishing herself for being paranoid.

John watched Aili walk to her car, feeling pleased and excited about how well the evening's dinner date had gone. He waited until she pulled out of the parking lot before walking around the building's side, to where he had parked his car. Thinking about Aili's smile and how beautiful she looked tonight, as he walked to the parking lot, he didn't notice the guy standing beside the car two spots from his until he got closer. He looked Asian and was standing beside the open door of the car, smoking a cigarette.

John acknowledged him and said hello, as he walked past, before the guy said something to him.

He thought he had misheard what was said as it sounded like, "Be careful."

John stopped as he got to his car, and politely asked him, "Pardon me, what did you say?"

He noticed another person sitting in the car as the guy said, "I said, be careful, you don't know what you're getting yourself into."

John had no idea what he was talking about and starting to feel a little nervous, unlocked his car and opened the door. He didn't feel good about this situation, as they were in a dark part of the parking lot with no one else around. John standing beside his open door, looked at him and said, "Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about."

He stared at John for a few seconds before saying, " I will tell you this one time; stay away from her, she is a married woman, and this will not go good for you if you pursue her any further."

Feeling shocked, John stood and watched him throw his cigarette on the ground, get in his car, and drive away. John didn't scare easily, but something about the way the guy looked at him made him feel fearful.

The fear he felt wasn't for him; it was for Aili.

****