Letter to my Bro

(

A long passionate onrush,

formally controlled and joyously messy,

propulsive but digressively self-interrupted,

attired but disheveled,

careful and lawless,

right and wrong.

James Wood, Homage to Keith Moon

)

Between hyggelig and dantesque; dreams and reality; fear and pleasure. Contrast. “Hygge is something that is supposed to be and feel good for you.” “I had a nightmare: he was there standing dead: eyes closed, his body stiff.” Nuccleus accumbens. “The release of dopamine is specially triggered by things necessary for our survival, such as eating, drinking or sex.” “It may sound strange, but in a way, you could say the brain creates addictions for our survival.” What if you’re no longer interested in any of them? Antonia’s Line, Crooked Finger: “If I believe in God or a hereafter, I could delude myself that life promises a heavenly dessert after an indigestible main course.” “When we are born, the first thing we taste is sweet breast milk. Liking sweet food is beneficial for our survival, and that’s why we experience feelings of joy when eating sugary things.” (How my brain works.)

— Stop! Where can I find this “sweet side-of-life” for you?

Hot drinks, candles, fireplaces, board games, music, holidays, cakes, pets…

— “I have never been able to accept the common misconception that everything one day will be better. Nothing will be better. At best or at worst it will only be different.”

— Indeed: different! Diversity! A wide range of colours, eine bunte Realität, that’s the exquisite part of it all: the variety of flavours.

— “I no longer want to think, above all else, no longer think.”

— ¡Eso! Deja de pensar: ¡Sal de tu cabeza!

« Commencer à penser, c'est commencer d'être miné. » Camus, Camus.

— “Misery is the norm, not the exception.”

— Ja, gut aber: Der Weg ist das Ziel, if only you could see: “one is always performing, not recording, and that making mistakes is simply part of the locomotion of vitality.”

[Wish you would listen to me…]

(Literary conclusion:

“Putting things in the wrong place: the appearance of astonishing disorder.”)

PS Und später in Deutschunterrichtvorbereitung: „Es wird eine Geschichte erzählt –angesiedelt zwischen Realität und Traum“.

12 May 2020

Bergen, Norway