How Things Went From Wonderful to Terrifying...

My divorce with my first husband was final in August 2014 and by the time I got the divorce papers in the mail I had already been dating Wade 2 weeks. I remember I was so happy to get that paperwork in the mail that my pregnant self ran across the yard to give Wade a hug and kiss when I got them. The paperwork meant that I was officially legally divorced and could be with Wade. I wish to God I had opened my eyes a little wider to see the red flags that were already looming over an overcast sky. The funny thing is that I thought I was keeping a good outsider's perspective. Everyone around me was just happy I was happy and Wade was a hard worker so he made enough money for me to be able to keep my house. It was convenient really because when I met Wade he told me he had just gotten out of an awful long term relationship where his ex girlfriend was crazy and then of course there was that brief fling with K from my work but he said that he and his boys were living with his mother and step father and he was about to be looking for another place to live anyway and since I was having trouble figuring out how to pay for my house it made perfect sense we both figured for him to move in permanently. Soon, the what should have been red flags started to emerge. Well, they already had had I known to see them or had I not been so blinded by his passion and attention that I somehow couldn't see them. As it turned out, Wade had a lot of crazy exes. His ex wife and mother to his boys and he used to have crazy knock down drag out fights that he hoped to never repeat. He said they would throw things at each other, yell, scream, punch walls, push each other, etc. She was crazy though and she couldn't keep her hands off the men. He was a truck driver for the most part that's how Wade made his living and he said when he was married to her he traveled across country and he would get calls that she had other men at their home. He described in detail to me how bad her sex addiction was and how it destroyed their marriage. Then, there was the last long term relationship he'd had shortly before me with Amy we'll call her. He said Amy was always trying to force marriage on him and even bought them wedding bands. He said that Amy lived with most of her family though and that her and her family was crazy. He said that they'd talk about crazy things and get drunk and high all the time and he got so tired of living that life. Wade said it got to a point where he and his boys were scared to stay there and one night while Amy was ranting and raving about something he got a few clothes for him and his boys and got them out of there. Because of this incident though, it left Wade with pretty much nothing to his name. They had no beds, no toys for the boys, no possessions except a few clothes. Also, to top it all off he said that Amy still wanted him and still asked people about him and what he was doing nowadays. It was crazy. Then, there was this other girl that was one of his exes named Jin and she worked at the Dollar store in town and I was told who she was and what she looked like because she wanted him back too and if she found out that he and I were together she would probably try to cause me trouble. He wanted me to know this he said so I could keep myself safe and be aware of these situations. Are you seeing the red flags yet? I wasn't. I just thought, "Wow, what a troubled past this poor man has had and what a string of crazy exes. Good grief. I don't want that drama and they won't be starting anything with me." There was one thing that Wade never opened up to me much about though and that was his childhood. He always told me that he would in due time but that time never really came. Sure, over the years and with some coaxing I managed to piece a few things together but what I knew for sure was that his biological father was a nightmare and Wade didn't want to be anything like him. He said that his step father who we'll call S had come into his life in his late pre-teen years and raised him to be a good man. He idolized S and thought I suppose that every boy needed that in his life. My son was six years old and was going through the worst time in his life what with his parents divorcing and now this new guy had moved in and yet Wade for some reason thought he needed saving and some structure I suppose. Wade's motto was always something along the lines of shit happens, stuff it in a box, shut up and get over it. It seemed everything my son AJ did was the wrong thing in Wade's eyes and he kept trying to set him straight. I was told every time I stuck up for AJ that I babied him too much and that I was favoring him over Wade's two boys. I tried hard to accept NJ and LJ as my own but with the situation with my son starting pretty much right off the bat I immedietly set up resentments. It was in fact, a recipe for disaster but at the time I told myself "Well, Wade isn't the only one that says I spoil AJ so maybe I do need to buckle down a little. Maybe there is a happy medium in this somewhere because other than the children and parenting disagreements Wade and I are great with each other." I tried still even though I knew deep down I was failing my son in certain ways to please not only Wade but my son. I wanted the best of both worlds. I wanted us all to be one big happy family and I just knew it was possible right?