Café Conversation (A Play)

Note: I wrote this some time ago, wondering if I would ever get it performed, or find a space for it anywhere. I think there is a spot for it here.

- K.D.

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Man and woman seated in a coffee shop. She is upset; he is calm. It is obvious that they are in the middle of their argument when the drama begins.

W. Why can’t we just be friends?

M. No, you’re far too attractive.

W. (Slight pause) Do I laugh or cry at that?

M. That is your choice.

W. You can’t just say something like that…

M. Why not? Usually, people are not honest about these things.

W. Men aren’t honest.

M. And yet I said something honest.

W. But it’s embarrassing… (She may be looking around the café as she says this)

M. Well, if you think about it, it should be.

W. Why think about it?

M. We all lie. I pretend, as a guy, that I am cool enough not to notice you too much after we’re introduced. Maybe I think you’ve got a boyfriend and that guys hit on you all the time because you’re physically not too bad. So I like you, but I don’t do anything.

W. (Thinking she has caught him in a lie) Ah, but you told me the truth!

M. You asked.

W. (Disappointed) Oh…well then, why bother? If you think that you can’t have me, why tell me the truth?

M. Better that way.

W. For who? You?

M. For us both.

W. Bull. You just get to vent.

M. We are both venting. And you get the truth.

W. I don’t want it.

M. Yes, you do. Every woman I know complains about guys not telling the truth; not sharing their feelings. How often do you get to hear it from a guy? We are not an honest species. We lie. That’s the truth.

W. (Another slight pause) Damn. I really thought you were one of the nice ones.

M. I am, whatever that means. What is a “nice one”? Because I didn’t grope you after we met? I am always hands off. And since we’ve known each other this long, I think, or thought, that I can tell you all of this.

W. You think?

M. I thought. There is a lot more to it than what I’ve said.

W. I’m sure you have a detailed report all ready.

M. Look, when we first talked, you told me all about your work with kids, the courses you took in school; your poems and paintings; you even talked about the last guy you dated. I hadn’t known you for more than a week and you were completely upfront about that prick. It isn’t only guys who hide all of the details in their lives so that they can look cool. Can’t remember the last time anyone was that honest with me. It was nice. Attractive.

W. Okay, so you just wanted to return my honesty back to me and get your feelings out and have all of your thoughts out there. Well, that’s fair. And maybe because of my own willingness to share everything, you thought that we would be a good match.

M. Some of that is actually true. Good work.

W. And then you ruined it by coming after me.

M. We wanted to spend time together. Didn’t ruin a damn thing.

W. Yeah, But we can’t meet like this again…

M. Here we go…

W. (Slight pause) You know what I mean. This is going to be awkward from now on.

M. Awkward for you.

W. Yes, and you.

M. No; don’t include me in your equation. That is your problem.

W. You really think you’d be okay meeting me like this again?

M. Why not?

W. Why for?

M. Well, we were both honest about how we felt, right? We both know more about the enemy camp; how it thinks and acts. All I did was test the water…

W. Come on…

M. Maybe you wouldn’t like it if I ended up here with someone else.

W. What? Ha, ha! You really… (She gets serious) You’re still trying to get me to change my mind.

M. Not anymore.

W. Pants on fire. Yes, you are.

M. If I were going to beg you for a date, I would do something more than this. Probably get me arrested.

W. Well, now I’m intrigued.

M. See, and I didn’t even have to beg. (He has a slight smile)

W. Just…let’s just be friends.

M. We are. Even if you are too attractive.

W. Stop it! I can’t have this conversation again.

M. Okay… Do you want another drink?

W. Umm, sure.

M. What?

W. Another latte?

M. Okay. (Pause) Should I be paying?

W. Why not?

M. Well, it’s not a date.

W. (Tensely) Just get us some drinks.

M. Ahh, us.

W. Just buy what you want to buy.

M. And a latte.

W. Right.

M. That’s all.

W. Would you just buy the drink, please?

M. Of course. (He gets up, leaves stage right)

W. Like I owe him anything. (She looks into her handbag) I can pay him back. (Pulls out a compact mirror, hesitates with it) Too attractive? (She flips it open) Hmm… (About to close it, she stares at herself for a moment; she begins to smile)

Lights fade out on this

END

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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