A River Of Tears

Less than three hours southwest of Madrid lies a valley called Valle de Jerty, in the province of Caceras, in Extremadura. The valley is well known in Spain, not so much outside of the country, for its stunning natural beauty, massive acreage of cherry blossom, and turbulent, rocky rivers.

My discovery of the valley came at a point in my life when I was passing a very bad mid-life crisis, an extremely emotionally painful separation and divorce. I felt so bad, I desperately wanted to get away from it all, I needed to escape to somewhere I could totally disconnect from the cause of my pain, the pit of my despair.

I figured that to escape the emotional trauma, I would have to get well away from the suffocating, physical, geographical, and urban environment that I felt trapped in. What I was in dire need of was a Huckleberry Finn-like pastoral quest, an adventurous sojourn into the wilderness.

Before I left town a Spanish friend told me about a few places that I might find interesting to visit. He scribbled on a scrap of paper a list of the names of towns and villages heading north from Cadiz, which was where I was based.

I set off in my little grey Seat sedan taking the Highway to Seville, then headed north to Merida, Caceres, and on to Plasencia, at the bottom of the valley. As the journey progressed it became increasingly rural. Already I was beginning to feel the benefit of going off the grid, at least emotionally. At one point on the journey I put the radio on and heard Gloria Gaynor singing, 'I Will Survive'. Almost immediately I began to cry a trickle of tears. By the end of the song, the trickle had become a flood, a river of tears.

At Plasencia, at the bottom of the valley, I stopped by a lake to take in the view to the top. Looking up, I felt like the valley was inviting me to enter its heavenly domain, and jumped back in the car to get going.

About halfway up the valley, I came across a stunning area where a very turbulent tributary roared down to the main river. The area was aptly called 'La Garganta del Diablo,' The Devil's Throat in English. I spent a little time jumping from rock to rock, up the tributary, as if I was dancing on the Devil's tonsils. The Devil made no complaint.

At the top of the valley, I found the bizarre sight of a hotel, styled in the manner of a Swiss Chalet, complete with pine-louvered window shutters to keep out the snow! I checked in and went upstairs to my room to drop my bags. Then I went back downstairs for a meal. The food was average, but the view from the windows was amazing, which was some compensation.

The next day I decided to go and explore some areas branching off the main road, to go off-grid, off-grid. I found a narrow road that snaked its way up a small mountain. In a very short time, I reached a part beyond which it became very difficult terrain to traverse.

I sat on the side of a dry stone wall bridge, crossing a stream coming down the mountain, to take in the view across the valley. For the first time, I could see almost the full extent of the cherry blossom. It seemed to cover the entire valley. It truly was a sight for sore eyes.

Suddenly, the flow of the stream increased beneath the bridge and became more turbulent as it crossed over and around the litter of rocks below. Just at that point, as if on cue, a strong, soft breeze started to blow cherry blossoms off the branches of all the trees in view. Within a matter of minutes, I found myself in a cherry blossom blizzard. It felt like I was caught inside an ornamental snow globe with cherry blossom angels swirling all around me. Then right out of the blue, a beautiful sparrow landed on top of my downturned hand. It looked up at me and did not move an inch. Then it began to sing, just for me.

At that moment I felt overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of it all. I heard myself, almost involuntarily, whisper to the sparrow and the wind, "There is a God, there is a God, and this is where I have found him, in my moment of dire need, in Heaven!" A torrent of tears came cascading down my cheeks at this epiphany, it felt like all of my pain and sorrow was cathartically pouring out of my sorely wounded heart and soul until I felt totally at peace and at one with the world. I felt like I very much belonged to this heavenly place, and I never wanted to leave. Often, out of the wretchedness of our human suffering come things of truly astounding beauty.

In time, the sparrow fluttered off my hand down the mountain and I was alone again, naturally. Eventually, I felt it was time to amble back down the mountain to my hotel and get some rest.

The next day I went out once more, this time to the top of the valley to enjoy the incredible view back down, all the way to the plains of Extremadura, far beyond the lake at the bottom of the valley. It was a memorable, awesome sight.

Then, going back down the valley, I took another branch road, on the opposite side of the main road to the road I took the day before. Again, I felt myself in an isolated area of thick undergrowth, blossom trees, and yet another turbulent river in full flow. I felt all cried out. It was time to leave the valley, this heavenly place where I had emptied my bucket full of tears.

The next day, when I got to the bottom of the valley I stopped by the lake one last time, to admire the view back up. Or so I thought. After half an hour I found myself checking back in to the same hotel. It had been impossible to leave. I needed more time here in heaven.

Three days later I could not defer my departure a day more, I had to get back to the place I called home in Cadiz. On this last attempt to leave, I drove right past the lake, for fear of giving in to the temptation to prolong my stay one day more.

Soon I found myself en route to Cadiz via Trujillo, Guadalupe, and Cordoba. The section of the route from Guadalupe to Cordoba, despite looking like a straight line on my paper map, snaked for what seemed like dozens of miles. It snaked so much that I got positively dizzy going from left to right, left right, left, right...It was as if I had climbed a ladder to heaven and now I was sliding back down via a snake that would take me all the way back to the absolute hellish pit of all that I had managed to escape, if only for a few days. Still, I felt rejuvenated enough to be optimistic that I could now handle at least the emotional pain of it all.