The Road Less Travelled

If you were to ask me for a quote from any book I’ve ever read, the very first that would come to mind (and in lightning speed) would be from M. Scott Peck’s The Road Less Travelled.

It’s a book that first fell into my hands when I was 21. It was given to me by my sister at a time when we were only just beginning to understand the severe impact our dysfunctional upbringing (still) had on us.

Relationship breakdowns seemed to be looping endlessly for both of us and life felt like we were always barely able to keep treading water. The impressively short opening line of Peck’s book will remain forever etched in my memory. It was the single most impactful sentence I have ever (and possibly will ever) read.

“Life is hard.”

I still remember laughing out loud with a sense of shocked disbelief as I read that line. And I read it again, and again.

Life is hard.

After a lifetime (bear in mind at that point 21 years was my lifetime) of people trying to silver line my problems or downplay or minimise my sufferings, here was this book not only validating them, but it was telling me they were normal. Expected even.

There was something unbelievably comforting in that sentence. Comforting to be told that there wasn’t something wrong with me. There wasn’t something unfair or unjust against me and me alone. My family weren’t alone in some curse of bad luck or punishment. Here it was. Right here in this book I held in my hands. These words managed to gift me what no other person in my life had ever given.

They validated everything hard that I had experienced.

Growing up in a poor family, I had always looked around to those better off and felt slighted by life. Lesser. Inferior. Hard done by. I felt this ever present sense of unfairness that life shouldn’t be this way.

I don’t just mean in financial ways. If I only spoke of financial poverty then I would describe my family as broke, not poor. It was more than that. Our family was devoid of love, of affection, of warmth. Feeling that others had the love that I was being eternally deprived of planted seeds of bitterness and resentment within me as I grew up.

But here I now was, book in hand, finally being let in on the secret that life is not supposed to be easy.

That one 3 word sentence immediately unlocked something in my mind. It felt like a pressure valve finally being released. Suddenly I was more relaxed.

Nothing external has changed in the fraction of a second it took to read those words, but in my mind everything had changed.

The rest of the book was filled with valuable wisdom and was my introduction to the category of books known as self help. A portal had been opened for me and there was no going back. There was no desire to go back. I regularly took trips to Waterstones and devoured their self help section over the following years.

My 80 hour working weeks couldn’t stand in my way from following this new path that Peck illuminated for me. His words and his book revived hope again in my life. He taught me that I could escape the cycles of despair and suffering that I was in through personal growth.

Prior to this book I had somehow adopted the limiting belief (from family, from culture) that once you became an adult (at 18), life became about working hard, paying bills and existing until you turn 65 and hope to retire. At this point maybe you could afford to travel more if you had worked hard enough and been lucky. The best thing you could hope for along the way was a partner to love and that would be your only source of joy.

The Road Less Travelled was the first book to introduce me to the concept of true love and make me question what true love is. It made me question what virtue is and follow the path of becoming a virtuous person.

Questions that I didn’t stop seeking an answer to until I had found them.

I still have an immense amount of appreciation for this book. It was so profound for me that I remember buying many copies at the time to give away to others, to leave on busses and give to homeless people.

Peck passed away in 2005.

His writing and philosophies have not only changed the trajectory of my life, but also of millions of people around the world. His legacy serves us writers with the reminder of how powerful a book can be. I hope that we can all aspire to leave such a positive and uplifting impact through our writings.