"I Feel Infinite"

When I think about a book that changed me, I think of several different books. But one that stands out is The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Maybe it's cliché to say this book changed me; when I tell people it's one of my top 5 favorite books, they usually roll their eyes at me. But this book brings me comfort. Every time I read it, I learn something new, realize something new.

I love everything about the book. The format, the narrative, the lessons, the tragedies. Stephen Chbosky lays out some intense, relatable situations these teens go through. From bullying, abuse and sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, rape, drugs, parties, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and so many more. The lessons and themes of the book touch on so many topics, it seems anyone can relate to any of the characters.

One of my favorite aspects of the book is the way Charlie yearns for Sam. His pure and innocent love for her would make anyone jealous. The way he talks about her and hopes for the best for her. I realize Charlie should have told Sam how he felt. However, Sam knew of his feelings and I think she did lead him on. But that's a different topic for discussion.

One of the saddest situations Charlie gets himself into is dating Mary-Elizabeth just because Charlie is a people-pleaser. Just because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Which he ultimately crushes her heart anyway because he can't simply speak up for himself. And that is why I resonate with the book so much.

I see much of myself in Charlie. His shy, introverted demeanor, yet he's so desperate to put himself out there and make himself noticed. His constant need to make sure everyone is happy even if he is not. His inability to stand up for himself, yet if his friends are messed with, he is definitely going to kick someone's ass.

This is where I related to the book the most. Charlie's fear of hurting someone because he expresses his feelings or his thoughts. Charlie just wants everyone to get along, he wants everything and everyone to be fine, even if he is not.