my beauty favs of 2019

i told myself that in 2020 i would start writing again because it's good for the braincells and i must be creative or i will simply disintegrate. i made a lil instagram post recently on my "professional" "cosmetology" "portfolio" listing my beauty favs and some of my girls, babes, and theys asked me to elaborate. so, because i am so dedicated to the craft, i opened up this account and it will probably maybe most likely become a sort of beauty blog for me!

(if you think this is utterly obnoxious and would much prefer to have my mental breakdowns sent to your email inbox instead, i have this too.)

ew sorry i hate self promo-ing but it's my first post ever. anyway, i digress.

1. psyche's box eyeshadow palette by claropsyche

listen. i don't think anyone should take my word for anything. i'm an idiot. but if you choose to spend your hard earned coin on one thing off this list, spend it on this.

i have never, and i mean never experienced a palette like this.

all 12 colors are creamy, vibrant mattes. not a shimmer in sight! not chalky in the slightest! my editioral makeup girlies: this is your holy grail product. throw out that mac palette. she's getting dusty.

i highly recommend using the colors on a primed, but not set, base if you're looking for high intensity pigment. don't get me wrong though -- the color is still there with a dry base, too. the only downside of this palette is how quickly you can hit pan. gossamer, which is a beautiful, bright matte white had me hitting pan on my third usage. however, i find that this matte white is much better than 97% of big corporate beauty brands, and the formula is nonirritating.

i could go on for hours. long story short: we stan.

2. all over diamond veil highlighter in how many carats?! by fenty beauty

as expected, miss rihanna robyn fenty has done it again. i would say i'm surprised, but the consistency is always there. we love to see it.

i was so very blessed last christmas with the fenty killawatt foil highlight palette, and while i have since absolutely demolished 5/7 of the shades since then, this formula is much different and frankly, way better. it's creamy and malleable, yet the shine and glitter is still there, no matter how hard you try to blend it out. considering i can't leave my home looking normal in any way, this is a perfect highlight for me.

if you've used fenty highlighters or have the killawatt foil palette, the diamond veil is not that girl. it's meant to be an all over, versatile highlight, and is recommended to buy and apply with its own little kabuki brush. personally, i didn't find the kabuki brush to be worth it and bought the highlight on its own. the brush isn't the right density for me, but hey, who cares about what i think. not rihanna, and she's right for that.

i will say that if you're looking for a plain old, run of the mill highlighter, this is not for you. the diamond veils run at $38 before tax, and let me tell you, you're getting what you pay for, and what you're paying for is high quality, stunning, i-will-be-snapping-necks pigment and glitter.

3. starlooks luxe longwear eye pen (black + star stamp)

to be completely fair, i did discover this product in 2018. but i have bought 3 more since and i haven't consistently used one singular eyeliner since i was 12 and stole my mom's maybelline so hey.

i hate eyeliner pens. i tried kat von d's and hated it. i tried nyx's and hated it. i dropped sixty united states dollars on tom ford's. and guess what? i hated it.

this is $5 and it is the most pigmented eyeliner pen i've ever used. that being said, one pen lasts me about 4 months at a time.

if you can't tell by now, i do prefer looking like a freak of nature. this is not an eyeliner pen that will provide you with a super fine tip "no makeup" makeup look. this is meant for editorial looks, this is meant for an amy winehouse wing. i assume if you're reading this, you're like me and love the big and bold and freakish and yes, this is my eyeliner if choice.

starlooks, if you even consider discontinuing this eyeliner pen i will simply lose my mind. what's left of it, at least.

4. lime crime unicorn hair semipermanent dye in valentine

3 years ago, i would not have touched a lime crime product if my life depended on it. i would have dropped dead if the situation arose itself.

actually, this is the first lime crime product i ever tried! and i was pleasantly surprised? i do not use semipermanent color on my own hair -- i'm a wella demipermanent gloss kind of girl. however, i was asked by a client to do a color service for a deep, but vibrant neutral red that could help repair a damaged hair shaft.

generally speaking, if your hair cuticle is lifted by lightener, aka bleach, she's not going back to that silky soft moment before you lifted. BUT, if you're on a budget and not willing to drop $40 to cover your whole head in some arctic fox, i definitely recommend this unicorn dye. it deposits color and moisture as a conditioner. the darker the color, the more pigment will insert its little self into that damaged and lifted cuticle's nooks and crannies and the shade valentine will do just that.

a neutral red dye is hard to find, period. the two negatives to this product would be 1. you have to lift your hair to a level 9 or 10 which can cause serious damage and 2. the color lasts 4 weeks max. but, if you're already lifted and a previous semipermanent color has faded out, i definitely recommend giving this a try.

5. not your mother's beat the heat thermal heat spray

i am pleading, begging you to start using heat protective products on your hair. i'm talking before blowdrying, before straightening, before thermal curling. your hair is fighting for its life here.

i have been straightening my hair since the 7th grade and let me tell you, she's exhausted. i've tried a lot of thermal treatments, mostly restorative, but this one has made me a changed woman. after straightening, my mullet is shining like never before. that vitamin e is really something.

the part of beat the heat spray that really sells it for me is the fact that it provides texture and hold. my hair does not hold curl nor does it hold a nice 30 minute flat iron session, but using this before and after straightening/curling my hair sets it better than most wet styling i've done. it also provides great texture, which i rarely get from even a normal hairspray and i've pretty much completely eliminated silicone gels from my hair routine now.

in conclusion, protect your hair and buy a quality product that can do it all. if you're not following, this is that product.

6. straight arrow original mane & tail shampoo

now before you come for me, this is not a product for previously colored hair, let's be clear on that.

i went through the emotionally trying process of growing out my buzzcut this year. yes i was bald. yes it was a moment, and a brief one at that. i have notoriously slow growing hair, but shampooing with this 3x a week not only changed the health of my hair, but the natural porosity and shine.

i also recommend this if you're an at home colorist and you overdo it. we've all left that demipermanent color on a little too long and it's looking dark and flat as all hell. i've used this to strip off that outer layer of color to and bring out underlying pigments in hair, especially when i've overdone it with level 1, 2, and 3 colors. one wash will do it, honestly.

i don't know what they're putting in this stuff, and i'm a little afraid to ask, but it works like nothing else.

7. aztec secret healing clay mask

this is another product i discovered way before 2019, but some babes just haven't caught on yet and it's time we had this talk.

first things first. you should not be doing this mask more than 3 times a month, max. you should not sleep with this mask on. i know pinterest says otherwise but if you love yourself, you won't do it. you need to dilute the apple cider vinegar with water. no matter how bad that acne is, you will thank me for this later.

a huge negative of this is the mess. there's no good way to take this off, honestly. no wash cloth or towel can do it. take it off in the shower and risk a clogged drain no draino can fix. but if you're breaking out and need to minimize zits fast, it's your best bet. acne is like death. it comes for all of us and there's no escaping it.

8. holika holika lazy & eazy egg peeling gel

ok, yes. i did buy this because i sold my soul to sanrio in 2016.

BUT it does work? and like, really really well??

i've tried a few different peeling gels and didn't see the results. but wow. i mean. wow. the exfoliation is extremely gentle which is great for those with sensitive skin who are tentative to try peeling gels/enzyme exfoliators. it also tightened my pores and brightened my skin like no other product -- peeling gel or not.

however, in order for this to work, you have to have a really good base for your skincare routine. i personally use a cleanser with soy complex which accompanies this product really well, and i wouldn't recommend a jelly cleanser or the like because it just doesn't give you that really clean base that you need in order for this product to really get to the dead cells and not leftover makeup.

i've seen this at cvs and tj maxx which is honestly a blessing because i was so sure it would have sold out or been discontinued by now seeing as that seems to be the pattern with every skincare product that works for me. i think this is one of those products that won't work for everyone, and if you have an established peeling gel or enzyme exfoliant you really like, i love that for you! don't make a switch you don't have to make, if that makes sense?

9. heritage store rosewater facial toner

i can't lie. i felt like this was one of those cult beauty products that didn't actually Do anything for a really long time. kind of like mario badescu or whatever, like. what does any of it truly do for you? other than give you some sense of belonging?

however, i decided i needed to love myself more in 2019. and that meant i need to chill with the face wipes. as in eliminate them completely. i use this with a reusable cotton pad in the morning before i apply my makeup. i have a morning and night skincare routine, and i try to keep my morning routine as mostly a prep for slathering my face in approximately 8 pounds of foundation. so, i felt like instead of doing a whole cleanse, let me just swipe a makeup remover wipe all over my face and get going. i don't know why i thought this would work. all i can say is i'm an insolent fool, i guess.

i came to my senses because i went to take out my garbage one day and thought, "wow. there's a lot of makeup wipes in here. like at least 30. that's not great." i decided to switch to something a little more sustainable, but i do in fact tone with witch hazel which isn't great to do twice in a 7 hour timespan. i saw old girl in tj maxx and thought i'd give it a try.

good decision, lillie! for once. a good decision.

it does moisturize and and leaves my skin with a plump sort of look. not puffy, but think little scandanavian child after running and playing in a beautiful meadow all day. 1950s normal rockwell type look. i can see why it's a beloved staple in so many routines.

that concludes it for me! i'm sorry if this gave you capitalism fueled influencer vibes. i've gotten a lot of questions this past year about what i've been using and i wanted to say this. 2019 was a real year of transformation for me. i became a lot more comfortable in my skin, with my hair, and with leaving my house sporting abstract, editorial looks without my confidence dwindling. i think it shows now that i'm happy with boldness!

these products won't work for everyone, but it's cool if one of them might work for you! i think beauty is so subjective and so fueled by late stage capitalism it can be hard to find what works and not feel guilty or shame yourself for investing in your skin or hair or whatever makes you feel confident. all i can say is this is a never ending journey. by next year, i'll probably have completely changed my routine! everything is cyclical and new products are always emerging.

but thank you for following this cute lil journey with me! i can't wait to see what products and adult acne 2020 will throw in my face.