You Ain’t Seen Nothin’

Introduction

I put a CD on and “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet” by Bachman Turner Overdrive came on, and I thought it would be a great starting point for a villanelle about how I see the wonderful Vocal Social Society. At the time I didn’t like it for some reason, maybe it was because they were Mormons, but the most famous Mormon band, The Osmonds came out with at least two great songs “One Bad Apple” (worthy of the Jackson Five) and “Crazy Horses” covered by The Sensational Alex Harvey Band and they opened at Donington with it - Brave .

So this then became some recollections of my earliest band memberships.

A Band I Forgot But Only Did One Rehearsal With

I was asked to join after talking with some rock and rollers who wanted a lead guitarist and singer. This was the time I met my first girlfriend, who I was looking to impress although she was attracted to other things rather than my (lack of) musical ability for some unknown reason.

Anyway songs I remember were Chuck Berry’s “Come On”, The Surfari’s “Wipe Out”, but during The Shadows’ “Apache” I wrenched my red Stratocaster apart when I got a bit too aggressive on the tremolo arm. It didn’t go any further.

Cyrus Teed

I once played a single gig with a band called Cyrus Teed somewhere in Chorley. The drums were mounted on a platform of four boxes and when Dave Topping the drummer was going mad during our cover of The Surfaris “Wipe Out” the boxes flew in four directions leaving Dave and the drum kit spread about the stage.

We practised at the Polish Club in Chorley cos the excellent lead guitarist Richard Kapjena was Polish and his dad was on the committee. The lineup also included Pete on bass and Dave Watson on guitar and vocals. “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet” was a favourite of Richard’s but it was a good band to be in, and I brought some rock and roll covers and took lead on the instrumentals, “Come On” and The Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar”. They wouldn’t let me do “StarF*cker” which gets people singing along and then they realise what they are actually singing.

We played a birthday gig in Ingol which went down well but the crowd wanted “Starman” by David Bowie , we had never rehearsed it but Dave Watson knew it (he told us the chords) so the band played it and the crowd loved it.

The Bok

My friend Andy Marshall, who I had rehearsed with, had a band called Marshall Law. I had been looking to form a punk band with Tony Eyre and Mick Errington and we came up with the name Mr Somestos and The Bok with Tony taking a pseudonym Simon Clinic. The Bok came from Monty Python’s singular of Box. That didn’t get out of the pub but …

Marshall Law had a gig on Saturday and the band left Andy on Tuesday. Andy asked me if I would join, and we drafted in the hippy Mark Lester on bass. We composed songs, included The Velvet Underground’s “Waiting For The Man” and “Gloria” by Them and used a pick up drummer. The drummer was rubbish (the drummer is the glue that sticks the band together) so we played the gig with no drummer.

We did an interview for a local fanzine but that has been lost, though I wish I still had a copy, but such is life.

One of my favourite guitarists was Ollie Halsall (check out Kevin Ayers “Didn’t Feel Lonely Til I Thought Of You”) who recommended practice with heavy gauge strings, and play live with light gauge strings. In the right conditions this may work but as we played I was having to retune my guitar as I played. We drafted Dave Topping of Cyrus Teed in on drums for this gig.

This was the first gig we covered Magazine’s “Shot By Both Sides”, but the DJ didn't like us and decided to start playing over us. The crowd weren’t happy and trashed his deck. For us the gig was a success and someone said he thought my guitar retuning was amazing, something he had never seen anyone do. I didn’t tell him why I had to do it.

After this we recorded demos, a few of which are available on Soundcloud on the link below.

We sent cassettes off to Stiff Records, John Peel and Rabid Records.

Stiff rejected us with an apologetic standard rejection letter.

John Peel sent a letter back saying we were primitive.

Rabid wanted to put a single out, a Double “A” side, Andy Marshall’s “Mystery Band” and my “Happy Birthday”. We went to see Rabid one Sunday in Manchester but all but one of the guys were in London for the launch of John Cooper Clarke’s “Disguise In Love”. Jilted John (Graham Fellows) dropped in as they were recording his album and said we looked like students.

The rabid guy asked which studio we had used. Studio? We hardly knew studios existed, and had recorded live to two track cassette. This could be why John Peel said we sounded primitive and Stiff rejected us.

The hippy Mark Lester was telling people that we were going to be on “Top of the Pops” so people stopped talking to me, because I was going to be famous!!

Rabid went under, the single was never released and The Bok sort of stopped.

Conclusion

I wrote “Happy Birthday” for my friend Cath Errington so will use that to lead this piece. This has been a Public Service Announcement about how I started in music, and I still can’t sing or play.