White Rappers That Make Your Friends Roll Their Eyes

If you really love hip-hop, there probably are a few guys who you really dig who your friends just can’t stand. And for whatever reason, there’s no bad rapping like white bad rapping. I'd hate to perpetuate the separation of the races here, and I'm usually actually fighting for unity because we are all one man and one species after all, but I couldn’t help but make this list because it’s just too damn funny and true: these are the white rappers who make your friends roll your eyes deep into the back of their head.

Froggy Fresh: This southern gent takes trolling to a whole new level. Or at least I really, really hope. Always rollin with his homeboy Money Maker Mike, these are the two nerdiest kids you have ever seen. Froggy used to go by the moniker Krispy Kreme until the doughnut company threatened with a lawsuit, thus birthing his new persona Froggy Fresh. His lines are goofy beyond belief “I make more money that Jay-z, compared to me Jay-z is lazy” and if that type of bar being busted with a nasally drone still living in his parents house sounds like your brand of comedy, you already know your friends won’t get it.

Stitches: Stitches is to coke what Cypress Hill are to weed. The half white, half cuban teenager has more face tattoos than a lot of punk rock bands have tattoos in general. While he has more than one style, his bangers like Brick in Your Face and Facts highlight his Lil’ Wyte esque scream rap, although he makes Lil Wyte sound calm in comparison. Hailing from Miami (obviously), Stitches is actually a good rapper with a variety of styles who literally can rap about cocaine for days and days and days. Your friends aren’t going to see past the face tattoos, the cocaine obsession, or his violent screams to notice.

Vanilla Ice:The ORIGINAL embarrassing white rapper. Vanilla Ice can actually flow, and if you scoffed or smirked at reading that, name one other song besides “Ice, Ice Baby” he’s done. No, that song he did in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secrets of the Ooze doesn’t count. And if it did count, that song’s dope so shut the hell up fool. Vanilla Ice’s career has taken a lot of turns over the decades,, and he has made a lot of dope music throughout it. The guy has been stabbed and it didn’t slow his grind, yet hating on him is just a thing our society does. Regardless how entertained your friend may be from one of his tracks, when they ask “Who is this?” deep down you dread the look on their face when you say “Vanilla Ice”.

Insane Clown Posse: Now I’m no music critic, and I hate it when other people pretend they are. I personally am not a fan of ICP, but I don’t hate on them like it’s popular to on the internet to do. I mean, the guys are geniuses at marketing. Besides the albums which their juggalo fanbase collect like Pirates collect treasure, ICP have made movies, own a wrestling company, have 2 video games, throw waa yearly festival with some of the biggest names in music and comedy, have a TV show, and were regulars on The Stern Show back when it was funny. Them’s grinders son, I don’t care if you hate their rap or not. But whether it be their offbeat, somewhat childish rhymes, or the legions of fans who adorn clown paint in the name of their clown gods, your friends are going to give you strange looks when and if you put ICP on in front of them. And depending on how much time they spend on the internet, they may talk to you like you’re about to join a cult.

Riff Raff: I personally think Riff Raff is a genius rapper. The dude is one of my favorites. He can freestyle his ass off, his studio tracks are not only silly but deep, and his look is so neon fresh he should be the costume designer for a movie taking place in the 80’s. it inspired the way James Franco looked in Spring Breakers Maybe it’s boasting about things like shooting b.b.’s through frosted Cheerios, or maybe it’s just his goofy ass demeanor, but your “normal” friends are way more likely to ask who’s playing as to avoid him in the future.

M.C. Chris: M.C. Chris has some of the dopest bars around. His flow is hyper too, the kid can rap his ass off. But he sounds like a kid whose balls never dropped. He sounds like B-Real on helium. He sounds like Alvin went solo from Simon and Teddy and started rapping. Your average joe friends aren’t probably cool enough to even get his dope sci fi references, so just bob your head and ignore their judgement.

3Pac: Your friends think this guy is a joke son. But you don’t give no hoots son. You know who got them real bars son. You know who reppin that real hip-hop son. Keep reppin like you don’t give no hoots son. 3Pac son. RIP Silverback son.

Fred Durst: Fred Durst is trying to become a respected filmmaker, in an attempt to make amends for the horrors he committed to music. He's got John Travolta on his side, so he may have a chance. Still, nothing can make us forget that he did it all for the nookie.

Honorable Mentions: Macklemore, Rapping Grandma from The Wedding Singer.