When she passed you by; a playlist to get you out again

“Miss Celie’s Blues”

Purple flowers and a deep sadness pervades the days of Celie, who is trapped in relationship after relationship that tears her down, emotionally and physically. Her sister, the only person she truly connected with, and whom loves her so much back, was also torn away from her as well. Even her sister’s letters are kept from Celie, by her angry and ill-tempered husband only known to her as “Mister”.

That’s until her husband’s mistress comes in, slamming plates of food against walls and humming sad little tunes in a tub with her—-and Celie desperately and passionately falls in love with her.

But I didn’t fall in love with Shug and Celie’s love, as sweet as it was. I fell in love with how much it changed Celie. And the song that Shug sings to Celie at the club felt like me, too:

This song is for anyone who is down and out, trying to smile but can’t find the energy to do so, in love but lost in places or relationships that aren’t really good for you, and you’re pining for that one true love story to come true. Maybe not even a love story. Maybe just a happy story. This song represents that for me.

“Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”

Feeling like you need to hide from the world, feeling like everything you are and love is wrong—-Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk is the kind of song that encapsulates that hard-shelled feeling that we feel sometimes in public and also with family or close friends. Sometimes, it feels easier to hide who you are. Other times, you feel like you are drowning.

The song gathers a bit of lovelorn hope at the end, a bittersweet moment that feels like falling in love, and I adore this beat, because this is my lost, one-sided crushes in a nutshell.

“Two Poor Kids”

It is really hard to find good gay/lesbian romance songs out there. Ruth B feels like she is for everyone, though, and I picked this song because it feels like any kind of love and is gender neutral in the lyrics.

I picked this AMV very specifically because I have watched this video a thousand times, cried a million times to it, and felt something deep inside strike within me when I heard the heartfelt and jazzy lyrics mixed with the sweet and adorable animation. I really love the couple from South Park—Craig and Tweek, too, so it’s just a bonus it is about them.

Also, I just feel exhausted. Emotionally, physically and mentally. Sometimes, I feel a bit off and I can’t take another step. I lay down and feel heavy and like a statue. This song is that deep breath. The deep well to dive into. The solitude and the sun—-the pain and the healing.

I feel lost in the song, but at the end, I feel a ray of hope.

“Lost and Delirious”

When I first saw the ending to this film, I was struck with a seizing of grief and sadness that stayed with me. I knew how it felt to lose someone you dearly loved and cared for. To be brushed aside and left like discarded waste.

This song represented to me a rebirth, such as a Phoenix’s death signals it new life, and the way it felt was the most refreshing breeze next to a warm sun. The warmth is comforting, yet there is an uneasiness there.

When she falls, her hawk flies.

I saw myself as the hawk; I desperately wanted to save the girl—-because she was also me. Being so determined not to lose someone but losing them anyway because you express to them your heart and your soul—-it just feels like erasure. Like your whole relationship is dead, and you were the unnecessary limb they cut off. Being a girl falling in love with your best friend who is also a girl—-it’s just one of the worst places to be in. You know it won’t end well, but your heart still makes you fall anyway.

This song helps rekindle and rejuvenate your body and mind, and your understanding of relationships in a new, fresh way.

“Summertime Sadness”

Summer is always painful to me.

I can’t describe it—-but I’ll try.

When you are young and alone and there’s nowhere to go and no one to talk to and everyone is out having fun and you look outside—-and see how bright it is outside—-and how you are just inside, alone.

That’s how it feels sometimes to me.

That’s how summer felt when I lost my best friend. That is how summer felt when my family went on vacation without me because I was “too depressed” to have fun. That’s how summer felt when I stayed consistently all day and all night on my computer reading love stories, writing romances, looking at fan art and listening to loud music to drown out my pain.

Summertine Sadness has that feeling too.

“Can’t Sleep Love”

This is another of one of those gender neutral songs where any couple can have their story told in this song.

This is one of my favorite songs, and it helps me focus and keeps me thinking clearly. It helps me write down my emotions in a clearer direction and channel negativity into a more positive flow. Also, it makes me think of youth and being in love.

All the girls I loved when I was young.

All the girls that I thought I wanted to be with forever.

All the girls I loved with everything I had.

And kissing in the moonlight, movies on a late—-getting old, most definitely.

“Something Entirely New”

A beautiful smile to shine on your heart, a song that represents new love and happiness—-something entirely new, and something you can’t quite understand or describe, but it’s real and it’s okay, because you got each other to work it out.

“Wouldn’t it be nice”

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?

Then we wouldn't have to wait so long

And wouldn't it be nice to live together

In the kind of world where we belong?

The lyrics weren’t made for LGBTQ youth, but it sure feels like it.

Being in a world where we belong is something we all hope for, and dream for, and the incredibly poignant and romantic vocals of Zooey Deschanel pull out a story in my heart that isn’t quite realized yet.

I love her cover of this song. It is more sad than the original and it feels more of a sudden burst of feeling than a sudden whimsical proposal to someone.

Anyone can relate to this song, and especially couples or youth who are not approved of by others or their family, can most easily understand the lyrics of this “easy going” beach sounding song.

“The Pink Phantom”

Elton John, people! Come on!

Mixed with the smooth sounding nostalgic feel of The Gorillaz—-it’s a match made in heaven.

This down to earth love song sounds melancholic with some spiritual and even fantasy elements mixed in, with the pain of youth and missing something or someone in the midst of summer.

Like I said, it’s hard to find good LGBTQ songs. I find myself drawn to this song from my own experience with first crushes and loves that we’re never meant to be.

“I kissed a girl”

Apparently, this song isn’t just about kissing a girl.

But—-I think we all needed this little ditty to not be so serious all the time, right?

I know, I do! [deep breathes]

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my own flavor of LGBTQ playlist, my own soundtrack to my own relationships, experiences, pains and losses, and happinesses and hopes.

Leave me a BIG old heart ❤️ if you liked it. Love me and leave a tip. Thank you,😊 Melissa!