Weary: How Black Women Reclaim Through Music

Solange sings: "I'm weary of the ways of the world."

The world can be a relentless place. So big and full of people and places where trust is a luxury easily taken advantage of. Black girls and women, among the disadvantaged, endure through the longing for our needs to be met. Yet, there is always a point of weariness. We, ourselves, have always been cape(able) of naming our desires and feelings.

We felt Erykah Badu when she said: "I'm getting tired of your shit!"

We felt Queen Latifah when she asked: "Who you calling a bitch?!"

We felt Mary J. Blidge when said: "Please take me as I am or having nothing at all!"

We felt Tierra Whack when she told them: "I just wanna go buck wild when you don't defend me."

Our feelings set the blueprint, pave the wave to healing, and yet, I wonder why those who've hurt us don't want to heal themselves. This is where my true weariness comes from.

Time and time again, I have found myself at the frontlines, fighting for the rights of all people: Native Americans, Black People, Immigrants, Youth, Queer folk, etc.

But who fights for Black women and girls specifically?

Beyonce said: "Me, myself and I/That's all I got in the end/That's what I found out"

The only answer I know to be true to that question is:

Black women and girls themselves.

Another reason we are tired. Not just from the lack of partnership

Keyshia Cole: "No one knew all the pain I went through!"

but from too the lack of time,

Ledisi: "I just want to run and hide but I dont have the time to cry."

Jorja Smith: "Give us a break and let us breathe, man"

the lack of consideration,

Heather Headley: "It's getting pretty late/And you haven't checked on me all day/When I called you didn't answer/Now I'm feelin' like you're ignorin' me

Rihanna: "Cause all of my kindness is taken for weakness"

and the lack of options.

Tina Turner: "There's gotta be something better out there"

Jennifer Hudson: "Cause I don't like living under your spotlight"

We may even say from the lack of serenity and understanding:

Lauryn Hill: "I gotta find peace of mind"

Whitney Houston: "Sometimes you'll laugh/Sometimes you'll cry/Life never tells us the when's or why's"

So what's do we do?

When we are left with nothing but this feeling of weariness, what can we do?

Mereba: "And I've said "World would you please have some mercy on me?"

Well, I would say rest but again, the world is relentless. Society expects a constant grind work ethic but this is so damaging to our well-being. I think its important to consider the changes the body is experiencing, not just mentally, but physically in fatigue. When we are tired, we discover that a certain change is need in our life. Sometimes this change is as simple as passing of breath in our bodies, slower.

Whitney Houston: "You'll find your point when you will exhale"

We must first listen to our bodies before we can just move forward. Sometimes the most powerful thing is cessation and retreat. A simple act of stillness. We often regulate this activity for the dead, as the reality for Black girls and women facing that uncertainty of not knowing when a moment will be your last. But stillness requires surrender. And if we are tired, but never rest, how can we survive? There is no way.

In rest, we observe. We gain an awareness of what is present in our lives. We see what others are capable of and what we are and we gain options. Sometimes, we learn to pray.

Yolanda Adams: "Lord I know that you're the only one/who is able to pull me through

Sometimes we learn to run.

Vivian Green: "Ran my three miles to clear my mind/It always helps me out, it's my therapy/When I'm losing it..."

And sometimes we learn to listen.

It is no wonder that the activity we are most fond of is music. It combines both movement and rest in a powerful way that honors a vital yet undervalued aspect of our existence: the sound of our own heartbeat.

When listening to your own heart, you reclaim a power by proximity. An understanding that even when you feel like giving up and think it's all over, there's a part of you that trusts otherwise.

Perhaps all that is needed to shift from weariness is a change in tune. To throw away the broken record that's been playing over and over again and play something different. Change the narrative.

Perhaps Octavia Butler said it best in her novel, Parable of the Sower:

"All that you touch You Change. All that you Change, Changes you. The only lasting truth is Change. God is Change."

You discover, admist it all, the nature of life is this fact. That change is our birthright and if we waited for the world to consider us, to fight for us, to give us options and peace and love and understand us, we'd be waiting forever.

So instead of looking for what we need out in the world, we just seek within. We find ourselves.

Solange sings: "I'm gonna look for my glory yeah/I'll be back real soon."

And if we have to seek it elsewhere, it's no further than our own ancestry.

Brittany Howard: "There must be someone/ up above/ sayin' come on Brittany/you got to come on up/you got to hold on"

When we write our wrongs and sing our sorrows.

We reflect and study and we move on.

We find strength in our truths:

Alicia Keys: "Even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest with a S on my chest, oh yes, I'm a Superwoman!"

Lizzo: "I can't wash it away, so you can't take it from me/my brown skin"

and with breath, we reclaim our space to exist in song and therefore, time.

Countless periods I can recall needing to do the same; to find rejoice in my being.

Jamila Woods: "And I'm Holy By My Own"

I'm always coming back to that.

When I hear Erykah Badu say: "Most intellects do not believe in God but they fear us just the same", that summons the GOD(DESS) in me.

That directs the love in me. The love to save yourself first! Then go back and save others. Shoutout for Harriet Tubman doing it first.

Ari Lennox: "Self-love is the best love"

I wonder if this is the case for you reading this too.

Pearl Bailey once said: "There's a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and it becomes either good or sour inside.

The Strong Black Woman trope has done nothing but damage Black Women.

We acknowledge this in our song cry.

I am remindered of Amel Larrieux's 'Weary" song from 2006 which echos the theme:

This woman is growing weary

Of having to be so strong

Of having to pretend

Not made of stone

So I don't end up with no broken bones

I can't fight every battle alone

Solange ends her song 'Weary' with some knowledge feels similar to ponder:

But you know that a king is only a man

With flesh and bones, he bleeds just like you do

He said "where does that leave you"

And do you belong?

I do, I do.

I do.

I have feelings.

Here they are.

Behind them were fears.

And scars.

I let them go.

I have love,

regardless.

my heart tells me so. *

*a poem I wrote on self-acceptance

Song List (in order):

Weary by Solange

Tyrone by Erykah Badu

U.N.I.T.Y. by Queen Latifah

As I Am by Mary J. Blidge

Only Child by Tierra Whack

Me, Myself and I by Beyonce

I Remember by Keyshia Cole

Alright by Ledisi

Peng Black Girls Remix by ENNY & Jorja Smith

I Wish I Wasn't by Heather Headley

FourFiveSeconds by Rihanna, Kanye West & Paul McCartney

We Don't Need Another Hero - Tina Turner

Spotlight by Jennifer Hudson

I Gotta Find Peace of Mind by Lauryn Hill

Exhale (shoop shoop) by Whitney Houston

Black Truck by Mereba

Exhale (shoop shoop) by Whitney Houston (again)

Openy My Heart by Yolanda Adams

Emotional Rollercoaster by Vivian Green

Weary by Solange (again)

Hold On by Brittany Howard in the band Alabama Shakes

Superwoman by Alicia Keys

My Skin by Lizzo

Holy by Jamila Woods

On & On by Erykah Badu

Self Love by Ari Lennox, Dreamville, Bas & Baby Rose

Weary by Amel Larrieux

Weary by Solange (again)